Comedian Ron White got so drunk on wine last month, he fell off of the porch at his friend’s house, and that friend is Brian Johnson, the AC/DC singer.
White says he “skint up” his arm something fierce.
“I weigh an eighth of a ton. I’m gonna tumble,” says White, who performs Friday and Saturday at The Mirage.
“I didn’t really remember that much until I squeezed my arm the next morning.’”
White’s drinking accidents are legendary. In Vegas a few years ago, he and his wife, singer Margo Rey, were partying at Bare topless pool in The Mirage when he fell and broke a tooth at the gum line four hours before his show.
White — who loves his marijuana and was once busted for possession — tells me it’s important to remember these incidents were caused by wine and not weed.
“I didn’t fall off Brian’s porch because I was stoned. It was the booze.”
He gets riled up when he talks about the anti-pot laws that jailed him.
“The marijuana laws that exist in this country today are ridiculous,” White says.
“We don’t have the resources to continue rounding up potheads every weekend and let ’em go. You’re not deciding whether or not we’re going to smoke pot. You’re deciding whether or not we’re criminals.”
He said it would be nice if politicians stopped making criminals out of weed-toking, “law-abiding citizens who pay taxes, who have jobs.”
“One of my friends has Stage 4 pancreatic cancer,” White says. “The only thing that gives him any relief at all and helps him with his appetite is smoking pot. And he can’t get it — even with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer!”
White says anti-marijuana politicians are “hanging onto lies they heard 40 years ago.”
When those politicians start dying of old age, White thinks, all of America will legalize consumer weed, following the lead of such states as Colorado.
“I’ve smoked pot since I was 12. I’m not saying it’s good for you. But they (politicians) put it in the same category as Rohypnol (roofies). But it should be in the same category as bacon. Should you eat it every day? Probably not, but you should be able to if you want to.
“I function at the highest level of my art form, and I smoke pot every day. If I was a meth head, then that’s where we should direct all of our efforts, to shut down the meth epidemic that’s ruining this country.”
He says the smartest thing Vegas and Louisiana could do for tourism is to jump on the legal-weed bandwagon.
White has one of the most popular shows on the Strip ($84-$106), selling out for the past five years. I saw it two weeks ago. He was great.
Naturally, he has some pot punch lines.
“My joke is: The doctor asked me if I had any symptoms that marijuana helps alleviate, and I said, ‘I get bummed when I run out of weed.’\u2009”
But he’s not a wake-and-bake stoner, and he’s not high on stage.
“You can’t smoke it and walk on stage, or you’ll go, ‘Duhhh, what was I gonna say?’\u2009”
CeeLo Green performed his hits “Crazy,” “Forget You” and “Bright Lights” while fortressed by “Jubilee!” showgirls, right there at the foot of Planet Hollywood on Tuesday night, to promote his arrival at the hotel. His running “Loberace” show starts tonight. The publicity stunt drew lots of walk-up traffic and stunted car traffic on the boulevard. Then CeeLo took all his buddies to Strip House for Cee Food.
Doug Elfman’s column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He also writes for Neon on Fridays. Email him at email@example.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.