Dear Britney Spears, I apologize for messing with your day, but a survey says Americans find you less appealing than Mike Tyson.
Dear Mike Tyson, congratulations.
These survey results were tabulated specifically for the Review-Journal by Repucom, a company that polls Americans to ask what they think of celebrities according to categories — awareness, appeal, aspiration, breakthrough, endorsement, influence, trendsetter and trust.
Repucom sells that information to marketing and branding companies via Repucom.net and CelebrityDBI.com.
I asked Repucom: Which of the following 15 Vegas performers/personalities have the most appeal and influence among Americans? Percentages are on a scale of 1 to 100, obviously:
WHO IS MOST APPEALING?
No. 1: Faith Hill, Venetian headliner (75.82).
No. 2: Shania Twain, Caesars headliner (74.92).
No. 3: Tim McGraw, Venetian headliner (73.38).
No. 4: Elton John, Caesars headliner (73.02).
No. 5: Jerry Seinfeld, Caesars headliner (71.99).
No. 6: Whoopi Goldberg, Treasure Island headliner (71.33).
No. 7: Celine Dion, Caesars headliner (71.07).
No. 8: Deadmau5, resident DJ at MGM’s Hakkasan nightclub (66.97).
No. 9: Dana White, UFC president (65.86).
No. 10: Floyd Mayweather, boxing champ (62.35).
No. 11: Bill Maher, Palms headliner (60.71).
No. 12: Tyson, boxing legend (57.93).
No. 13: Spears, Planet Hollywood headliner (55.30).
No. 14: Carrot Top, Luxor headliner (49.56).
No. 15: Kim Kardashian, paid to appear at clubs (45.62).
WHO IS MOST INFLUENTIAL?
No. 1: Faith Hill (71.21).
No. 2: Tim McGraw (69.99).
No. 3: Deadmau5 (68.41).
No. 4: Shania Twain (66.9).
No. 5: Whoopi Goldberg (66.29).
No. 6: Dana White (66.15).
No. 7: Elton John (65.87).
No. 8: Jerry Seinfeld (65.72).
No. 9: Bill Maher (63.36).
No. 10: Celine Dion (63.27).
No. 11: Floyd Mayweather (61.41).
No. 12: Kim Kardashian (60.82).
No. 13: Britney Spears (57.28).
No. 14: Mike Tyson (56.99).
No. 15: Carrot Top (45.68).
Bravo to Faith Hill.
I’m sure we’re all glad people who have skills (Faith etc.) are more liked than America’s top reality star with scant skills (Kardashian).
Surprising: Deadmau5 (a DJ with a number in his name) is more influential than immortal beloveds Elton and Celine among Americans of various age groups, not just young people.
Other Vegas DJs could rank even higher than Deadmau5, but I didn’t ask for numbers on Calvin Harris and other mainstream DJs.
I also didn’t get numbers yet on popular locals such as Andre Agassi and George Wallace because this list had to be kept to a trim 15 stars.
I’m happy about Whoopi Goldberg’s high appeal (71.33), because after I recently wrote about her, I received a few livid emails from readers calling Whoopi a liberal and a 19th century slur about her race.
But if 71.33 percent of Americans find Whoopi appealing, that means such racists are merely a lunatic fringe that can wither away while we ignore them.
As for poor Britney, she is less appealing than Tyson and less influential than Mayweather. She should learn to throw a punch. And not at me. I’m just reporting news, Ms. Spears.
Doug Elfman’s column appears on Page 3A in the main section on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He also writes for Neon on Fridays. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.