Kathy Griffin and I were chatting about starlets who shave their hair after they go nuts — Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Amanda Bynes and “even Justin Bieber’s bangs.”
“When you lose it, you look in the mirror, and you must recite the phrase, ‘I hate hair,’ over and over until you get a buzz cutter,” Griffin jokes.
“It’s very Joan of Arc. Maybe they’re hearing voices from their own hair.”
On Friday, Griffin will perform at The Mirage. She will arrive with a new honor under her belt.
“I’ve done more recorded stand-up comedy specials than any comedian in history — male or female,” Griffin boasts.
“And the reason you have to say ‘recorded’ is: I have also beaten anybody who did records back in the day, like, (Bill) Cosby and Cheech and Chong.”
Griffin has cut 16 specials for Bravo, two for HBO.
“When I’m in Vegas, I’ll be breaking out material for the next one,” she says.
Griffin isn’t getting as much media attention as she thinks she deserves for breaking this record.
“I’m a girl, Doug, and nobody gives a (expletive), and nobody cares. So break the (expletive) story, Doug.”
“As a female comedian, you absolutely have to work harder and jump higher,” she says. “I’m living proof you have to work harder.”
She even deals with a few reluctant men at Vegas casinos.
“I do meet-and-greets before every show, and right to my face, they’ll say, ‘Normally I don’t think chicks are funny but I’m here, ’cause my wife brought me.’
“That stigma is still out there for sure. I’m out there living it every day.”
Does this make Griffin want to Mace these men?
“Actually, what I want to do is Mace them with laughter. My most vicious weapon — my mouth.”
SQUARES: An Australian won the three-day Rubik’s Cube World Championships at the Riviera this weekend.
Feliks Zemdegs beat more than 575 rivals with an average time of 8.18 seconds and his quickest time of 7.36 seconds.
The world record is 5.55 seconds. The guy who holds that record, Mats Valk of the Netherlands, came in second place this weekend at 8.65 seconds.
There is a 98.3 percent chance Zemdegs and Valk are nerds. (FYI, nerds are “in.”)
RODSTER: Rod Stewart is extending his Caesars Palace contract for two more years starting this fall. Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. Saturday for November shows ($49-$250). He plays Caesars this Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.
BECAUSE YOU LOVED HER: Celine Dion and husband Rene Angelil were honored Friday with Canada’s Order of Canada, the country’s second-highest royal merit, behind, duh, the Order of Merit.
Celine went to her native country last week to put on a show and pick up an honorary degree from a Quebec university, the Toronto Sun reports.
Snoop Dog (aka Snoop Lion) saw “Rock of Ages” at The Venetian on Sunday, then went backstage and took an incredible photo with the cast.
Ving Rhames ate with a friend Sunday at Cut steakhouse in the Palazzo. They had knish, sliders, tuna tartar and salad.
Doug Elfman’s column appears on Page 3A in the main section on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He also writes for Neon on Fridays. Email him at email@example.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.