About an hour after the U.S. women’s hockey players tossed their gold medals into the Black Sea against Canada today, I noticed a blond person with long hair sitting alone at the bar at the Triple 7 Restaurant and Brewery in Main Street Station downtown.
This person was dressed like a maple leaf: red and black stocking cap with a maple leaf on front, red and black T-shirt with a maple leaf on front and, draped over back of this person’s chair, a red and black leather jacket with a giant maple leaf on back.
Upon closer inspection, this person was a male Canadian hockey fan with long, blond hair.
He said his name was Adrian Ace, from Toronto, and he said he was a retired porn star. But I shook his hand anyway, because he did not look like a retired porn star. He did not have a mustache.
He said Adrian Ace was his porn star name, or maybe he just thought I was from the immigration service.
Anyway, like all Canadians (except, perhaps, Justin Bieber) he seemed like a nice person; he didn’t poke fun at the U.S. women blowing a 2-0 lead in the closing minutes and tossing their gold medals into the Black Sea.
He said he didn’t play hockey; he could skate, he said, but he couldn’t stop. That beer in front of him? His fourth of the day, he said.
He didn’t look like a retired porn star but he sure looked like a Canadian, dressed like that, like a human maple leaf. But it was 2 p.m., and he was only on his fourth beer.
So it’s possible he might have been only part Canadian, or from Buffalo.