Jesus was married?

If you have not heard already, there's a new scrap of paper discovered by scholars that provides tantalizing evidence that Jesus was married and had a female disciple.

This goes directly against the late comedian Sam Kinison's bit on why Jesus could never have been married, which I have provided below for those who have never seen Kenison or his comic genius.

PS: Kinison was killed in 1992 in a head-on car crash near Needles, Calif., after performing in Laughlin.