After midnight Saturday, Dane Cook looked around at the pretty women eyeing him at club Tao. "Hello," he'd say to this one as she smiled and walked by. "Hello," he'd say to that one.
I asked Cook (who's starring on Broadway in Neil LaBute's "Fat Pig" May-August) whether he was planning to audition any of these club girls.
"I'm really glad I'm single. Otherwise, I would definitely cheat on my girlfriend," he joked.
He was making people laugh. Asked what wedding gift he'd give Prince William and Kate Middleton, he paused then punch lined: a certain sex toy in a U.S.-flag motif, plus a colander.
He was sober, as always. He's never drank in his life.
"I'm the opposite" of Charlie Sheen, he said. "I'm too aware."
He always has worried if he were to booze it up, he'd feel the impulse to be the drunkest, most entertaining person in the room.
"I would be the Golden God On The Roof, like: 'If I dive off tonight, everybody would think that's awesome!' "
While growing up in Boston, the rest of his "big Irish-Catholic" family was "hammered."
"If you go back and you do a family tree, and you're like: 'Oh, there was a cobbler in my family who invented a new kind of heel?'
"My family was partyers. They changed their names. They were O'Hagans, and they had to change their names to Cook ... to escape the people that they (messed) with, because they partied so hard."
He said that and another woman shot him a passing smile. "Hello," he said.
BIKINI GIRL'S HIP AND JAW HURT
Katrina Darrell became known as "Bikini Girl" for wearing a bikini on "American Idol." On Feb. 8 at the Tropicana, she took in the premiere of Recycled Percussion. She had just gotten 2 million hits to her online site, katrinabikinigirl.com, from doing a TV news segment.
Later that night, an SUV slammed into her car at an I-215 offramp. She was in her grandparents' old Saturn. The airbag didn't deploy.
The cop at the scene posed for a photo with her and took her for takeout at an Amigos Tacos. She got a ride home.
But pain came. She went to the hospital. She had a concussion, whiplash, two bulging back disks. She hurt her jaw, and her hip was hurt. The good news: She needed physical therapy but no surgery. Her long-term prognosis is good.
But she lost her Palms gig. On Friday, she got six shots to the neck for pain. Her mom has given her TLC.
She occasionally has stepped out. She did the carpet for the opening of Sugar Factory a few weeks ago. A doctor told her it might help her back to wear heels, so she tried, but it hurt, so she took them off. Now, she's spending time at home, recuperating and writing songs.
"I'm just lucky to be alive," she says. "It's crazy how one night can change everything."
A BUSY TUESDAY
The best DJ I've ever seen, Beastie Boys' Mix Master Mike (who owns a house in Vegas), is at club Blush tonight for the 25th anniversary of the making of "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)" ... Chateau tonight serves Jermaine Dupri as DJ, with guest C.C. Sheffield, who made the hit "Escape Me" with DJ Tiesto. ... Bare Pool's opening party is tonight. Yes, it's topless, yes, I like it. ... Pure's sixth anniversary is tonight. ... Looking ahead, House of Pain may get on the mic Thursday at Tao after a 10 p.m. carpet.
Doug Elfman's column appears on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. E-mail delfman@ reviewjournal.com. He also blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.