It's a notorious Las Vegas weekend because you can pay to see: A) "Bachelor" drama queen Vienna Girardi at one pool party, or B) Ke$ha, who brushes her teeth in Jack Daniels, at a different pool party.
Girardi is supposed to show up at The Venetian's Tao Beach club around 2 p.m. Saturday for a promotion called "Single & Fabulous."
She's the latest disgruntled star of reality TV ever since she "won" on "Bachelor," then called her fiance, Jake Pavelka, a "fame whore" on TV because he was on TV ... just like she was. They've broken up. I know. Unexpected!
Girardi's becoming a real Vegas girl for paid appearances. On July 4 weekend, she lounged at Tao Beach and club Lavo.
Meanwhile, Ke$ha appears after 1 p.m. Saturday at Moorea Beach Club at Mandalay Bay. Later Saturday, she opens for Rihanna at Mandalay Bay Events Center ($50-$130).
Ke$ha doesn't really brush her teeth in booze, I don't think. That's the opening line of her star-making hit, "Tik Tok." But she has said she did once barf in Paris Hilton's closet. So that's a party to remember.
Jennifer Love Hewitt walks a blue carpet Saturday afternoon at Azure Luxury Pool at Palazzo. Fact I know because I'm male: She is the woman most guys want to see naked who hasn't gotten naked in a film, according to naked site Mr. Skin. ... "90210" star AnnaLynne McCord turns 23 today, then celebrates with "Twilight" boyfriend Kellan Lutz after 2 p.m. Saturday at Wet Republic pool day club at the MGM. Jessica Stroup of "90210" might join them. ... Freshly single Kelly Osbourne was set to be at club Haze last night, so she probably will be popping into other Light Group clubs this weekend. ... Playboy Playmate Hope Dworaczyk hosts at club Pure on Saturday. ... Playboy "girl" Erica Chevillar hosts the Sexy Ring Girl competition tonight at Rio's club Crown. The winning ring girl gets a contract to appear at Saturday night's 14-bout MMA Xplosion, co-starring Wanderlei Silva and Jeremy Horn, at the Rio ($30-$60). FYI, Chevillar is a former high school teacher turned bikini model and Playboy peek-a-boo.
"I'm not with Rush Limbaugh on this when he said the ocean will take care of it. What sort of nonsense is that? Oil is nature. So is mercury, but you don't want it in your Cheerios." -- Bill Maher on the gulf oil spill. He performs Saturday-Sunday at The Orleans ($61-$88).
Doug Elfman's column appears Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. E-mail him at delfman@ reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.