Comedian Larry the Cable Guy met his wife backstage at the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay. I don't know why I didn't already know this story. But Larry the Cable Guy fills me in.
It was five years ago. She was a DJ at rock radio's KOMP-FM, 92.3. "Remember Cara West?" Larry the Cable Guy asks me.
Wow, Cara West. When West started at KOMP in 2000, the radio station pulled a stunt, posting a billboard that read, "I need a job -- Cara." By the end of the day, the billboard was papered over to read that KOMP had hired Cara.
Then in 2004, the Las Vegas Weekly ran a Martin Stein story detailing an e-mail fight between West and a John Kerry supporter that included West's pronouncement, "I hate Democrats."
"Yeah, I married Cara," says Larry the Cable Guy (aka Dan Whitney).
"I met her in Vegas at the House of Blues. Her best friend worked on the radio station that was promoting my show. She came and hung out."
Question: Was Cara a successful stalker?
Answer (laughing): "Nah. I was stalking her. She was just hanging out. She was sitting in the green room waiting for her buddy Carl to get done with the (radio station) remote, when my show started.
"A couple days later, I'd call her up. And finally, I got her calling me. And then she came to see me a couple months later. And we were married a year later."
Q: How often did you see each other long distance?
A: "I would come there and stay with her for a few days. Then she would come down (to Florida)."
Q: When you visited her here, did she take you to see the Fountains of Bellagio and all that stuff? We locals have to do that when tourists visit us.
A: "She didn't do anything like that. She didn't care about that stuff.
"I'd already done all that stuff. We went in the desert a couple times and went hiking out there. That was about it."
Q: Are there any jokes your wife doesn't like you doing?
A: "She likes 'em all. She's got a great sense of humor. She's actually got a sicker sense of humor than I've got.
"Every now and then, she'll come up with a joke I want to do onstage. But it seems when I do her jokes, the women get all mad at me, because they think I'm being mean to my wife.
"When I tell her, 'The women don't like that joke,' she says, 'They're all just a bunch of snobs.' " (He laughs.)
"She wrote a joke one time about filming the child delivery. ... 'I was gonna film the birth of my child, but I couldn't find Jessica Simpson to play the part of my wife.'
"It was hilarious. I said, 'Honey, I can't do that joke. They'll think I'm being mean to ya.' And she's like, 'I wrote the frickin' joke.' I go, 'Yeah but they don't know that.' "
Q: I know you're married, so she owns half of everything you own. But do you ever pay her, like, $10 per joke?
A: "Nah. I take care of her pretty good."
Q: Does she ever do an opening comedy set for you onstage?
A: "She definitely won't do that. She's definitely behind the scenes. That's why she did radio. She could say what she wanted and nobody saw her -- kind of like bloggers."
Q: Since you live in Central Florida, do y'all own a plane and land it in your backyard, like John Travolta does there?
A: "We've got a tour bus that we go around in that's customized for her and me and the kids. But we don't have any helipads or nothin' like that. Just put a new redwood deck on the trailer here. We've got a long trailer, but it's really nice."
Q: Do you do anything fun here when you perform in Vegas?
A: "After the show, we usually just hang out on my bus and watch a movie and move on to the next city. We really don't get out and do a lot."
Q: I know your kids are young (2 and 3), but do you think they'll be funny?
A: "My daughter's hilarious. My daughter takes out after me. My little boy takes out after my wife. He's shy. He's funny, though."
Q: How are they funny at that age?
A: "They're still at this age of funny sounds. Somebody bought me a goofy joke machine. ... They don't laugh at the jokes, but they laugh at the fart sounds and the cackling after.
"That stuff is the popular stuff. I learned that early on. And that's what they like. But who doesn't?"
Contact Doug Elfman at firstname.lastname@example.org. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.