Here's the legendary story about Paris Hilton that has circulated the Strip for years. She was in club Tao one night, and she didn't want to wait for a washroom stall, so she did what any of us would do.
"She just squatted like a dog, pulled her dress up, sat in the corner of the bathroom and peed on the floor in front of everyone," a source tells me.
Oh Paris. Poor little rich girl. Boooohoooo.
I've heard much more debauched Paris stories from friends who say, "I saw her (enter raunchy behavior here) and (enter random consumption there)." But in light of her felony cocaine arrest this weekend, here's the knowledge I'm dropping on you: Paris Hilton's stock has been in decline for some time.
Paris hasn't been The Vegas Girl at clubs and day clubs since she lost that tiara to Kim Kardashian a year ago, as I noted in a column a year ago.
Sure, clubs used to pay her $100,000 to act like a fool. But now, does anyone even give her free rooms?
When photographers shoot Paris here, they may be selling her photos for about 60 percent of the price they used to command from magazines and online sites, I'm told.
Rumor has it Paris has been upset by being upstaged by Kardashian, since Kardashian used to be Paris' stylist.
But Kim has kept her nose clean. Her headline in US magazine Monday was not about coke but went, "Kim Kardashian Thinks Khloe Had a 'Shaved, Rashy' Bikini Line." (See, that's the kind of story that proves why America is still a superpower, God bless us all.)
Why are a lot of people on the Strip not upset about Paris' predicament? Because A) she has kept a lot of media and club workers waiting for hours past scheduled carpet times; B) some people in Paris' circle have seemed jerkish; and C) Paris can be a piece of work.
She once dragged Kimberly Stewart down a red carpet (and hours late) and made Stewart sort of answer questions on Paris' behalf. Another source is quite familiar with seeing Paris behave like a "complete imbecile and bitch" to people close to her. And let's pile on. Another woman behind the scenes told me, "She has the ugliest feet."
Poor little rich girl. Booohooo.
I love it that Paris convinced the cops who pulled over her and her boyfriend Friday night to go inside the Wynn because all the tourists staring at her was embarrassing -- this from the woman who became famous for being a red carpet heiress starring in a sex tape.
As for her boyfriend, Steve Wynn's nightclubs operator Cy Waits, it's unclear if he still has his job; late Monday the Wynn gave me another "no comment."
On Monday, as People magazine's Mark Gray reported, Paris told the cops she thought the cocaine in her purse was gum.
And yet, Paris' arrest wasn't even the most-read story on People.com. No, alleged coke-in-purse-er Paris lost that distinction to the headline, "Julio Iglesias Marries Longtime Girlfriend." Paris Hilton can't even trump Julio Iglesias.
A reminder. In her book, "Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose," Paris said only losers stay in Vegas more than a few days. Hit it and quit it, she said.
Try quitting it some more, Paris.
NON-PARIS NEWS: Performers from "Le Reve" will be on "America's Got Talent" on Wednesday. ... Brody Jenner was at Tao on Saturday. I asked my editor, "Who cares about Brody Jenner" sightings? The editor's answer: Brody Jenner.
Doug Elfman's column appears on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. E-mail delfman@reviewjournal. com. He also blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.