Perhaps if Freddie Chopin had Legos to construct or Nerf guns to shoot or "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" to watch, he wouldn't have found time at age 7 to author those two polonaises of G minor and B-flat major.
Which sure sounds a lot tougher than a bicycle kick.
It's not that Americans don't understand soccer. It's our most popular sport among preteens. We are a land of orange cones and Purple Dragons and Blue Scorpions and Green Monsters.
But the world develops its soccer players differently than us. We train ours to earn college scholarships. Everyone else trains theirs to be professionals.
We do things opposite in soccer, which is one reason the United States has as much chance of winning the men's World Cup as Steve Williams and Tiger Woods do of bear-hugging on the 18th green at the PGA Championship this week.
Which also is why the case of Leonel Coira makes so much sense to those involved.
He is 7 with a mop of black hair that screams fancy footwork and superb dribbling, the Argentine kid who has signed a one-year contract with soccer power Real Madrid. His hero is Lionel Messi, the world's finest player.
Messi also is from Argentina and has floppy hair.
It might be as close to him as Coira ever gets.
It all could be a publicity stunt. Odds favor as much. Soccer clubs around the world do these things all the time, knowing that to predict long-term athletic success of a player such as Coira before puberty is nearly impossible. Six years from now, he might struggle in a Sunday pickup game at some neighborhood park in Buenos Aires.
But maybe he is a Chopin with the ball or has a shot that rivals what Pascal could do with binomial coefficients or Picasso with a brush. Prodigies exist now like they did hundreds of years ago. Maybe this Leonel Coira is the next Messi. Maybe he's the next Freddy Adu. Maybe he won't be even that good.
It's difficult to understand the Coira signing if you're like most who have had or know the average 7-year-old, whose biggest decision in a day might be to play a game of Battleship or read his pop-up book, the one that turns into a pirate ship. But don't mistake Real Madrid's move as some exploitative tool.
On most pitches across the planet, soccer is a lower-class environment sport where players from moderate families fight and scratch and claw their way through the ranks. There might not be a greater hunger in sports than that which young soccer players like Coira own from their first steps.
Soccer in America is part of our fascination with youth sports.
Soccer in Europe is part of people's DNA.
It's in our minds here.
It's in their blood there.
Soccer academies stretch throughout the world's top club teams, which employ scouts to scour the globe for the next Messi or someone who at least looks like him and can perform a scissor cross without breaking an ankle.
One club from the Netherlands signed an 18-month-old to a 10-year contract after watching the toddler kick a ball. It was said to be a symbolic gesture, but I'm guessing the Dutch won't mind avoiding those huge transfer fees if the tyke ever makes something of himself on the field.
This is how it goes in other countries. This is how vitally important soccer is viewed. Iker Casillas began training with Real Madrid at age 9. The goalkeeper is now his national team's captain and hero to millions across Spain. Things worked out fine for him.
We have our tennis and gymnastics stars, our Hannah Montanas and, somewhere hidden by the enormous shadow of a stage mom, the next Britney Spears. We watch their television shows, purchase their records, cheer them wildly in the pursuit of gold medals.
Nothing is wrong with signing a 7-year-old soccer player to a one-year contract from which he receives no financial compensation, nothing wrong with taking a kid whose family moved to Spain two years ago and paying only for his transportation costs to and from club practices and games, nothing wrong with placing him in an academy and allowing him to prove his skills are worthy over time.
Leonel Coira begins training with Real Madrid next month. I wish him the best.
If things don't work out, he always will have pop-up books.
Or, by his ninth birthday, a scholarship offer to be Lane Kiffin's place-kicker.
Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ed Graney can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 702-383-4618. He can be heard from 3 to 5 p.m. Monday and Thursday on "Monsters of the Midday," Fox Sports Radio 920 AM. Follow him on Twitter: @edgraney.