MOVIES
Movies are rated on a letter-grade scale, from A to F. Opinions by R-J movie critic Carol Cling (C.C.) are indicated by initials. Other opinions are from wire service critics.
Motion Picture Association of America ratings:
G - General audiences, all ages.
PG - Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.
PG-13 - Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children under 13.
R - Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or guardian.
NC-17 - No one under 17 admitted.
NR - Not rated.
ARE WE DONE YET?
(D) Put a fork in this "Are We There Yet?" sequel, as Nick Persons (Ice Cube) falls into his own personal money pit when he and his pregnant wife (Nia Long) and her two kids move to a dream home, which proceeds to fall apart. This alleged comedy, supposedly based on "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House," has about as much to do with that frothy Cary Grant confection as a Yugo has to do with a 1948 Buick Roadster. Both are vehicles. Both eventually reach a destination. But what kind of ride are you looking for? (92 min.) PG; brief profanity and sexual innuendo.
BLACK BOOK
(B+) Director Paul Verhoeven returns to his native Netherlands for this gripping, brilliantly perverse thriller about a Jewish singer (Carice van Houten) who joins the Dutch resistance during World War II -- and seduces a Nazi officer ("The Lives of Others' " Sebastian Koch) to find out who betrayed her family, leading to their slaughter. It isn't pretty, but for all its melodramatic hoohah, it feels pretty real. In English, Dutch, German and Hebrew with English subtitles. (145 min.) R; strong violence, graphic nudity, sexual situations, profanity.
BLADES OF GLORY
(C+) Will Ferrell goes for the gold as an arrogant figure skater who teams with a flamboyant rival ("Napoleon Dynamite's" Jon Heder) to shake up the pairs division when they're both barred from solo competition. Like "Zoolander" with a Zamboni, this dumb-with-a-capital-D goofball farce takes its (almost) fleshed-out sketch-comedy idea as far as an ice-skating buddy movie with we're-not-gay jokes and a psycho stalker can go. Which isn't that far. (94 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual humor, profanity, comic violent image, drug references.
THE CONDEMNED
(D) Guilty as charged: The wrestler formerly known as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin stars as one of 10 death-row inmates dropped on a remote island to kill each other while millions watch on the Internet. If the filmmakers had concentrated on blood, bullets, bone-crunching and great balls of fire, this action workout wouldn't have been good -- but it would have been better than this bombastic twaddle, which celebrates the gratuitous violence it so self-righteously pretends to condemn. (114 min.) R; pervasive strong brutal violence, profanity. (C.C.)
DEEP SEA 3D
(B) Get up close and personal with ocean wildlife, unveiled in the reach-out-and-touch weirdness of Imax 3D at the Luxor. This giant-screen documentary introduces exotic denizens of the deep so extravagantly extraterrestrial, nothing created by Hollywood's special effects labs could possibly compete. (40 min.) G; all ages.
DELTA FARCE
(D) In this blue-collar comedy, three drinking buddies (Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls) git 'er done -- sort of -- when a gung-ho Army sergeant (Keith David) mistakes them for reservists and puts them on a plane headed for Iraq. It's dopey Army comedy in the tradition of "Buck Privates" and "Stripes" -- with the sights aimed lower and blissfully unaware of its own monumental tastelessness. It's not very good, but at least it's not evil. (90 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual humor.
DINOSAURS 3D: GIANTS OF PATAGONIA
(B+) Now at Luxor's Imax theater, this excursion traces the evolution -- and extinction -- of giant prehistoric beasts that rip each other's faces off in thrilling computer-generated segments showcasing species we didn't see in "Jurassic Park." Paleontologist Rodolfo Coria proves a congenial tour guide, while Donald Sutherland's droll narration emphasizes a quality all but extinct in large-format documentaries: humor. (40 min.) NR; very large, very loud dinosaurs.
DISTURBIA
(B-) Think of "Rear Window" with digital equipment and front lawns and you'll know what to expect from this spirited, smart-alecky thriller in which an eavesdropping teen (Shia LaBeouf) tries to figure out if the soft-spoken bachelor (David Morse) next door is a cold-blooded killer. So what if you can see every plot twist bearing down like a rush-hour commuter express? "Disturbia" still boasts a scrappy charm. (104 min.) PG-13; sequences of terror and violence, sexual references.
THE EX
(C-) A Manhattan couple (Zach Braff, Amanda Peet) about to have their first baby move back to Ohio, where he's forced to work for his father-in-law (Charles Grodin, who should have waited for another "Beethoven" sequel to come out of retirement) and deal with the machinations of a wheelchair-bound workmate (Jason Bateman) determined to sabotage his progress in a completely forgettable comedy that mixes tired scenarios and combines them in a way that makes time stand still. And not in a good way. (92 min.) PG-13; sexual content, brief profanity, drug references.
FIGHTER PILOT
(B) Wild blue yonder: Nellis Air Force Base zooms into the giant-screen spotlight with this Imax documentary, now at the Luxor, focusing on Red Flag combat training exercises. The midair sequences are almost sickeningly exhilarating, but plodding on-the-ground portions seem earthbound. (48 min.) NR; all ages.
FIREHOUSE DOG
(B) After a botched stunt, Hollywood's top dog, the pampered canine star of "Jurassic Bark" is presumed dead -- but has really been adopted by a single firefighter's sullen son in a family-friendly tail (oops, tale) that's really the canine version of "Doc Hollywood" anchored by moving performances by veteran Bruce Greenwood and "Bridge to Terabithia's" Josh Hutcherson. (111 min.) PG; action peril, mild crude humor and profanity.
FRACTURE
(C+) A calculating tycoon (Anthony Hopkins, who could play this role in his sleep) shoots his adulterous wife, confesses to the crime -- and is determined to keep his cocky prosecutor (a mannered Ryan Gosling) off guard -- in a slick but empty battle-of-wits thriller that once again proves "howdunits" are seldom as compelling as "whodunits." True to its title, cracks begin to appear the minute you look too closely at "Fracture," a movie that wants desperately to be clever -- but turns out to be distressingly routine. (112 min.) R; violence, profanity, sexual references. (C.C.)
GEORGIA RULE
(D+) Three generations clash in a misbegotten comedy-drama about a rebellious teen (Lindsay Lohan) whose had-it, dysfunctional mother (Felicity Huffman) hauls her back to the Idaho farm run, with an iron hand, by her flinty mother (Jane Fonda). Very little about these characters is believable -- including the idea that they're related. Indeed, "Georgia Rule" suggests an Ingmar Bergman script as directed by Jerry Lewis. The subject matter is grim, the relationships are gnarled, the worldview is bleak -- and, at any given moment, you suspect someone's going to be hit with a pie. (113 min.) R; sexual content, profanity.
GHOST RIDER
(D) Crash-and-burn: Motorcycle stunt superstar Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) makes a deal with the devil, becoming a demonic bounty hunter in a Marvel Comics adaptation that's an unholy melding of religious mumbo-jumbo to motorcycle worship, Western folklore, father-son psychology, and Elvis Lives wish fulfillment. (110 min.) PG-13; horror violence, disturbing images.
HOT FUZZ
(B) Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, who teamed up for 2004's zombie romp "Shaun of the Dead," reunite in a buddy-cop spoof about a gung-ho London officer who's transferred to a sleepy village -- just in time to take on a serial killer. A pedal-to-the-metal kick, two parts delirious mayhem and one part deafening noise, that could put the final digit to "Lethal Weapon" and its kind, if there's any mercy in the world. (120 min.) R; violent content, graphic images, profanity.
IN THE LAND OF WOMEN
(B) After his girlfriend dumps him, a scruffy young writer ("The O.C.'s" annoyingly endearing Adam Brody) flees L.A. for the Detroit suburbs, where he cares for his ailing grandmother (Olympia Dukakis) and bonds with both a 40-something neighbor (Meg Ryan) and her estranged teenage daughter (Kristen Stewart). Director Jon Kasdan (yes, his father Lawrence made "The Big Chill") makes an accomplished feature debut with a fresh, funny and perceptive movie that also proves Brody's big-screen appeal. (97 min.) PG-13; sexual content, mature themes, profanity.
THE INVISIBLE
(C) It's tough to be in love and in limbo at the same time, as a promising young writer (Justin Chatwin of "War of the Worlds"), attacked and left for dead, finds himself invisible to those still alive -- and desperate to discover what happened to him before it's too late. A retread of the 2002 Swedish film "Den Osynlige" (based on a novel by Mats Wahl), this latest recycling of foreign-grown frights shows less interest in horror than in healing. (97 min.) PG-13; violence, criminality, sexual references and profanity, all involving teens.
KICKIN' IT OLD SKOOL
(D) Justin Schumacher (Jamie Kennedy) has never left the '80s -- because he's been in a coma for 20 years following a freak break-dancing accident. Now, two decades later, he's awakened to find his dream girl (Maria Menounos) engaged to his grade-school nemesis (Michael Rosenbaum) and his parents buried in medical bills. That means it's time to bust a move in a blast-from-the-past comedy that's kind of funny -- for about five minutes. (107 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual content, profanity.
LIONS 3D: ROAR OF THE KALAHARI
(B+) This award-winning National Geographic production, filmed in the wild by Tim Liversedge, goes 3-D, focusing on a lion king's battle with a young challenger for control of his throne -- and a valuable water hole in Botswana's Kalahari desert. It's not a new movie, but this remastered giant-screen version, now at the Luxor's Imax theater, has been magically transformed: you're not merely there, you're a lion, an honorary member of the pride. (40 min.) NR; animal violence.
LUCKY YOU
(B-) Hold 'em? Or hold her? That is the question for poker ace Huck Cheever (Eric Bana), a charming "blaster" who's trying to find a way into the World Series of Poker -- where he's bound to run into his estranged father (an irresistibly blustery Robert Duvall), a two-time champ -- while reluctantly romancing a naive lounge singer (Drew Barrymore) newly arrived in Las Vegas. Even with a script dragged down by creaky life's-a-poker-game metaphors, sure-bet director Curtis Hanson ("L.A. Confidential") breathes some fresh air into the potentially stale proceedings. (123 min.) PG-13; profanity, sexual humor. (C.C.)
MEET THE ROBINSONS
(B-) An orphan with a flair for wacky inventions finds a home -- in the future, with the even wackier title family -- in a breezy, computer-animated 'toon that's not exactly original but juggles its familiar elements with heart, quirkiness and energy to spare. In digital 3-D at select locations. (102 min.) G; all ages. (C.C.)
MYSTERY OF THE NILE
(B+) This Imax documentary, playing at the Luxor, chronicles the first descent of the Blue Nile from source to sea, a 3,250-mile, 114-day odyssey that brings explorers face-to-face with rapids, crocodiles, bandits, malaria, sandstorms and the fierce desert sun. (47 min.) NR; all ages.
THE NAMESAKE
(A-) A young Calcutta couple (Bollywood veterans Irfan Khan and Tabu) starts a new life in New York, only to have their all-American son (Kal Penn, stretching far beyond "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle") reject his cultural roots in director Mira Nair's beguiling adaptation of Jhumpa Lahiri's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. The spices may be exotic, but the basic ingredients are universal; the resulting cinematic dish is rich, complex and utterly delicious. (122 min.) PG-13; sexuality, nudity, drug use, disturbing images, brief profanity. (C.C.)
NEXT
(C+) Leaving Las Vegas proves a complicated proposition for a small-time showroom magician (who else but melancholy Nicolas Cage, back in Glitter City for the fourth time) gifted -- and cursed -- with the ability to foresee a few minutes into the future, especially when Eurotrash terrorists threaten to detonate a nuclear device, prompting an FBI agent (Julianne Moore) to track him down in hopes of averting disaster. Like a lot of junk food, this cinematic twaddle proves ridiculously easy to swallow, thanks to actionmeister director Lee Tamahori, who guns the engines and plows ahead -- whether it makes sense or not. (96 min.) PG-13; violent action, profanity. (C.C.)
PERFECT STRANGER
(C-) An investigative reporter (Halle Berry) goes undercover at an advertising agency to find out whether its sleazy owner (Bruce Willis) had anything to do with a childhood pal's murder. This alleged thriller boasts more smelly red herrings than a wholesale fishmarket -- not to mention plot holes the size of a wholesale fishmarket, unappealing characters with murky motivations and a director (James Foley) forced to distract the audience by any means necessary. (109 min.) R; sexual situations, nudity, violence, disturbing images, profanity. (C.C.)
SPIDER-MAN 3
(B-) The third time's hardly the charm in this oversized, underpowered effects workout (also in IMAX at the Palms), as our friendly neighborhood webslinger (Tobey Maguire) confronts his dark side, quarrels with a whiny Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) and battles not one, not two, but three villains (James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace). It all adds up to too many plot twists and not enough plot, too many characters and not enough character, making for a diverting but definitely less-than-equal sequel. (139 min.) PG-13; intense action violence. (C.C.)
300
(C) Well, at least it's not 300 minutes long. This adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel only feels that way, as 300 strapping Spartans try to repel thousands of Persian invaders during the bloody Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. Everything looks cool, but "300" is so busy reveling in bombastic, blood-drenched excess that the acting can't hope to match the action; the chiseled, Chippendales-ready performers resemble action figures hacking their way through the cartoon carnage of a video game. (117 min.) PG-13; graphic battle sequences, sexual situations, nudity. (C.C.)
28 WEEKS LATER
(C-) Talk about overkill: The deadly virus that rampaged through England in "28 Days Later" didn't disappear, it merely took a break. So has everything that made Danny Boyle's 2002 horror hit feel fresh and human-sized. It's as if director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and the entire cast had guns trained at their heads (which many of them do) in a sort-of sequel that's a screeching, hyperbolic exercise in film-school nihilism, focusing on survivors of the "Rage" plague (including Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne and Catherine McCormack) who return to London, where a dormant form of the virus flares up, transforming the uninfected into crazed brain-munchers. (113 min.) R; strong violence and gore, profanity, nudity.
VACANCY
(D-) Bickering spouses (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale) suffer car trouble and wind up in an isolated motel's honeymoon suite -- the locale for a series of snuff films starring unsuspecting guests. Yes, it is a horror flick and supposed to be violent. But the way in which it gets off on the violence -- and, ostensibly, hopes the audience does the same -- is especially distasteful. When it's over, you'll feel grimy, sickened and desperately in need of a shower. (97 min.) R; brutal violence and terror, brief nudity, profanity.
WILD HOGS
(D) Weekend warriors (Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy) go from mild to wild when they rev up their suburban lives on a cross-country motorcycle trip. Or, more precisely, they embarrass themselves by falling off motorcycles, setting fire to inanimate objects and indulging in hissy fits with spectacularly unfunny results, while others (including those of us in the audience) watch helplessly. (100 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual content, violence.
YEAR OF THE DOG
(B-) When her beloved pooch dies, a devastated secretary (Molly Shannon) embarks on a personal odyssey to fill the void in this Sundance Film Festival hit from Mike White, who makes his directorial debut after writing (and appearing in) such comedies as "School of Rock," "The Good Girl" and "Chuck & Buck." The filmmaker's tone and visual style are deadpan comic but his message is dead serious, creating another intricately crosshatched sketch in his gallery of outsiders. (97 min.) PG-13; sexual references, profanity.
