Usher smooth talking Vegas ladies

He can sing, dance and hit on your girl in one fluid motion.

Usher Raymond.

He’s an R&B pheromone, his movements liquid, his voice so seductive that every woman reading this just got pregnant merely thinking about it.

What power does Usher hold over the feminine persuasion?

Well, a few years back, he embarked on what he dubbed his “One Night Stand: Ladies Only Tour.”

He was not being hyperbolic.

He truly wanted only females in the house at said shows.

They obliged, by the thousands on a nightly basis, dudes be damned.

How many artists could pull something like this off?

And there’s the things that Usher actually says to women in his songs, which are even more awesomely outlandish.

No other man could make Raymond’s repartee work quite like he does.

With Usher in town this weekend, let’s review some of his supersexy lyrics and what happens when he says them.

And then, as a precautionary measure, we’ll remind you what happens when you try to do the same.

Song: “I Don’t Mind”

Supersexy lyric: “Shawty, I don’t mind / If you dance on a pole / That don’t make you a ho / Shawty, I don’t mind when you work until three / If you’re leaving with me.”

What happens when Usher says it: He goes home with a woman in see-through high heels.

What happens when you say it: You still have to pay for that lap dance, chief.

Song: “Confessions Part II”

Supersexy lyric: “This by far is the hardest thing I think I’ve ever had to do / To tell you, the woman I love / That I’m having a baby by a woman that I barely even know / I hope you can accept the fact that I’m man enough to tell you this / And hopefully you’ll give me another chance.”

What happens when Usher says it: He totally gets another chance.

What happens when you say it: You’re ducking chairs on “Maury.”

Song: “What’s Your Name”

Supersexy lyric: “What’s your digits? / You put it in my phone / Hit me when you’re all alone / You could call on me / We’ll flirt with technology.”

What happens when Usher says it: He gets her number. Her iPhone promptly gets a cold sore.

What happens when you say it: You get a number — to a Chinese takeout joint near her house. Your pot stickers become soggy with tears.

Song: “Pro Lover”

Supersexy lyric: “Lovin’ me baby that’s a no-no / I’m better when I touch and go / I’m trying to add yo’ name to my hall of fame / Not just a player, I’m a pro lover.”

What happens when Usher says it: She adds her name to his hall of fame, which is just like Cooperstown, but with more boobs.

What happens when you say it: For once, she actually agrees with you. Yes, you are in fact a pro lover, the Michael Olowokandi of the bedroom.

Song: “Lay You Down”

Supersexy lyric: “I promise you ain’t goin’ / Nowhere, nowhere, nowhere / You ain’t goin’ / Nowhere, nowhere, nowhere / You ain’t goin’ / Nowhere, girl not until / You let me lay you down in here.”

What happens when Usher says it: Despite being the kind of thing that a stalker says as he’s forcing you against your will into the back of his cargo van, coming from Usher, each creepy word sprouts angel wings whose vigorous flapping conjures a gentle breeze that blows all her clothes right off.

What happens when you say it: You discover that pepper spray tastes like fire-flavored fire.

Song: “I.F.U.”

Supersexy lyric: “I think sex was made for strangers / Making love is for the ones who plan to stay together / How ’bout we embrace the danger?”

What happens when Usher says it: Danger does, in fact, get embraced — “danger” being short for “naked woman.”

What happens when you say it: She encourages you to go with this whole “embrace the danger” thing and bear hug a haphephobic badger.

Song: “Making Love (Into the Night)”

Supersexy lyric: “Just tell me where to go and I’ll take off my clothes for you.”

What happens when Usher says it: She gives him directions to her condo.

What happens when you say it: She gives you directions to a bee colony.

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476. Follow on Twitter @JasonBracelin.