Welcome to Herpes Island.
Actually, that's not fair to the rest of Hispaniola, home of "Love in the Wild" (10 p.m. Tuesdays, KSNV-TV, Channel 3).
Chlamydia Cove, perhaps?
The partner-swapping, "Survivor"-style dating show never lives up - or down - to Fox's late "Paradise Hotel," the gold standard for trashtacular summer viewing.
But between one contestant's "NINJA COWBOY" tattoo and another's fears of "interior motives," it certainly tries.
Host Jenny McCarthy keeps dangling the prospect of romance, informing contestants that two last-season couples are still together.
After a whole year?
They're like reality TV's answer to Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy.
- CHRISTOPHER LAWRENCE