I'm sitting minding my own business having breakfast at the Peppermill restaurant on the Strip -- one of my favorite places and one which hopefully will not be torn down anytime soon -- when a couple at the next table asks me where I'm from. I don't like to be disturbed when I'm eating nor any other time, to be honest, but I didn't want to ignore them so I replied, "I live here."
You'd think I'd just told them I had two heads. "Really?" they said in unison. I was tempted to say, "No, I just made it up to see what kind of reaction I'd get from you," but instead said, "Yes, really." Then it started. "How long have you been here?" I told them this was my 30th year. Again with the "Really?"
"Oh, you must have been here when the Mafia owned everything." A statement of fact, not a question. I said, "I did. Those were the days when there were as many bodies in the desert as there were people living in Las Vegas." This was the kind of stuff they wanted to hear. "How exciting," says she, followed by, "I'm Carla and this is my husband Glen. We're from Chicago."
"Ah," say I, "then you know all about the Mafia. Didn't they own everything there?" They both laugh. I don't. They then switch subjects. "Do you know who has the loosest slots?" I tell them that most of the slots in the hotels on the Strip have about the same payback percentage, which varies a bit depending on what denomination machine they play.
They ponder this for a moment before Glen asks, "Do you think it's better to stay with a machine even if you're losing, or keep moving around if nothing's hitting? I like to move around, while Carla here insists on staying at one machine." Carla defends her actions by saying, "Because I know that it has to turn around and get hot."
I was really hoping I wouldn't have to say what I was about to because it always falls on deaf ears, but I had no choice. "The first thing you have to know when playing slots," I say, "is that each machine has one random-number generator program, commonly called an RNG. This is a code written into each game chip that causes a number to be generated once every several milliseconds." I was beginning to sound like my old math teacher. "Each number corresponds to a result on the reels. When the spin button is pushed or the handle is pulled, the computer accepts the number generated at that instant and translates it into a result on the reels."
"So what does that mean?" asks Carla. "It means," I tell them, "that there is no system or strategy in the world that can make you a winner. It all comes down to playing the right machine at the right time. It also means I've got to finish my breakfast. Good luck." They looked a little hurt as well as a little dubious about what I had just told them, and I'm sure if I followed them to the casino I'd see Carla rubbing the glass on the machine she's playing with a rabbit's foot or other trinket sitting atop it, thinking, "What the hell does he know?"
'DRAGAPELLA!' RETURNS
Okay, some entertainment news and it's good. "Dragapella!" starring The Kinsey Sicks is returning to the Shimmer Cabaret at the Las Vegas Hilton on March 3. Because of well-deserved fan reaction to their one-night appearance last September, the resort has booked them for an unlimited engagement.
I don't know if you remember, but I raved about the show back then and said that it would be a shame if a Vegas hotel didn't sign these guys to a contract. To refresh your memories, The Kinsey Sicks combine "a cappella" singing, biting wit and over-the-top drag for what has been called "one of the more uniquely original (and thoroughly fun and entertaining) acts we have encountered in years" (Billboard Magazine) and have been praised for their "voices sweet as birdsong" (New York Times).
Their off-Broadway show, "Dragapella! at Studio 54 in New York City," was called "riotously funny" and "sublime" (Variety), and earned them a Drama Desk Award nomination for Best Lyrics and two Lucille Lortel nominations, including for Best Musical. Every one of those descriptions and awards are well-deserved.
The signing of the group gives the Hilton a wide range of entertainment as it now adds "Dragapella!" to its resident headliners Barry Manilow and Reba McEntire and the production show "Menopause The Musical." "Dragapella!" will perform Tuesday thru Saturday at 9:30 p.m. Tickets are $42.50 (plus tax and service charge) and you can get them at the Las Vegas Hilton box office, going to www.lvhilton.com or calling 1-800-222-5361.
Good luck and I'll see you on the Strip. And don't forget to check out www.valleyblogs.com
If you have a question or a Las Vegas experience you would like to share with my readers, please e-mail me at lennylv@cox.net. Please include your full name and the city or town where you live.
