You might keep asking yourself, "Why are all these kids at the Electric Daisy Carnival wearing elaborate costumes with furry animal heads and stuff?"
It's because this is the costume generation. People in young age ranges keep inviting me to costume and theme parties. Then they tell me my costumes suck.
My generation is not a costume generation. We put in Dracula teeth, and we're done.
Then there were the many EDC girls wearing three standard outfits: A) Fuzzy boots, knickers (undies) and a bra. B) Sneakers, tutu and a bra. C) Or fuzzy boots, bikini bottom and toplessness, plus gooey, artsy pasties.
At least half of these kids looked 18 to 22. It was The World's Biggest Teen Dance Party at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.
People kept asking me if they were all on Ecstasy. I'd bet 10 to 20 percent, tops, were on something. But that "something" could have been alcohol, pot, acid, Ecstasy, or especially the legal ADHD drug Adderall, which is used like prescription cocaine when taken by those who don't have ADHD.
So at least 80 percent appeared to be sober, ordinary concert-goers.
Security guards ran rudimentary pocket checks and pat downs, sending girls back to their cars if they showed up carrying apparently nefarious teddy bears.
Comically, the event's no-no list disallowed "massagers." This means event organizers may have previously witnessed and frowned upon kids arriving at parties in other cities equipped with sex toys.
I don't think the George Strait Country Music Festival had the same problem.
Pot was, of course, verboten, but it was the most smuggled in import. At one DJ stage, I spotted three guys in a 5-square-foot area smoking their own joints and not sharing, which would never fly at a rock concert.
To be honest, EDC seemed like just another concert, although younger and bigger. Before I went, I looked at the list of DJs and thought, "I see a lot of these DJs at clubs on the Strip. So how is EDC going to surprise me?"
But while listening to an incredible set by DJ Zedd (who I haven't seen on the Strip), I remembered how much better it is to listen to electronic thump-thump in a huge open-air venue.
As excellent as sound systems are at Marquee nightclub and Encore Beach Club, they sound like car speakers compared to the incredible, undistorted aural blast of EDC.
Arrests and hospitalizations happened, as news readers know. However, EDC seemed like the least intimidating concert crowd outside of Coachella in the Palm Springs area.
How could anyone have felt threatened by skinny shirtless nerds wearing suspenders and eyeglass frames without lenses?
But every event has a few jackasses. When I first started walking through the crowd on Saturday, I was suddenly faced with one fella chasing another fella, as they were sprinting directly at me.
I moved out of the way just in time for the first guy (the chasee) to pass. I shoulder-bumped the second guy (the chaser). The chaser went to the ground. Security quickly apprehended him.
That made me feel like Batman -- out of costume.
Doug Elfman spent the weekend with other Review-Journal staffers, checking out the scene at the Electric Daisy Carnival. His column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Contact him at delfman@reviewjournal .com. He also blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman, and you can find his tweets @VegasAnonymous.