5 signs your significant other is depressed (and how to help)

Depression affects more than 350 million people worldwide. According to the ADAA, depression is an illness that makes someone feel useless, discouraged, unmotivated and hopeless. These feelings can easily be passed off as a case of the blues, but if they inhibit daily activities like going to work or negatively affect relationships with family and friends, your significant other may have a more severe case of depression. Depression not only affects your significant other, but can harm your relationship and other relationships if left untreated.

Depression shows itself in many forms and not all the signs are easy to see. Some have depression more severely than others but all need help and treatment just the same. According to studies on depression and marital satisfaction, if your significant other is depressed, it increases dissatisfaction in your relationship and can lead to separation. To help your significant other and strengthen your relationship, first you need to recognize the signs of depression:

1. Isolation

If your significant other isolates themselves from you and frequently says they want to spend time alone, it’s a sure sign something is wrong. Your significant other should want to talk to you and be able to communicate their problems to you. In order for a relationship to thrive you must be able to communicate with each other. If they are wallowing in their sorrows and avoiding you, reach out to see if they’ll open up.

2. Critical and negative attitude

Having a critical and negative attitude is not only destructive for a relationship but demeans and belittles others. Someone who is suffering depression can’t easily be optimistic about life or the future. Therefore, they only say critical and negative comments. This is a telltale sign of depression.

3. High stress level

Your significant other’s stress level is critical to identifying depression. Stress can be easily identified in your significant other by how flustered and frustrated they are. If your significant other expresses how difficult work or school is and is constantly frustrated by these issues, they may be depressed. Take their comments seriously and do what you can to talk to them. Be willing to listen if they’re willing to talk to you about stress.

4. Fatigue or irregular sleep patterns

Little sleep can make your significant other irritable as it is, but when it happens frequently, it’s a serious problem. Getting enough sleep every day is essential for the body’s physical and mental health. It affects someone’s ability to focus and their ability to perform necessary tasks. On the other side of the spectrum, over-sleeping can be a sign of clinical depression. With this illness comes a lack of motivation, making sleep an easier option than getting out of bed for the day.

5. Anger or hostility

If your significant other is frequently arguing with you and getting into fights, it’s a sure sign something is wrong. Similar to lack of sleep and having a critical or negative attitude, a combination of these two things can intensify emotions and lead to increased anger and hostility toward others. It is difficult to work with and love a hostile significant other, so seeking professional help is necessary in order to help your partner and your relationship.

If your partner is experiencing any one of these five things on a daily basis that keep them from being happy, it’s time to get help.

The good news is there are treatments for depression that work. Your significant other can get better and return to their old, loving self. Talk to your doctor about options that are right for you and your significant other so he can get treatment.

In the meantime, there are things you can start doing now to help your partner on their road to recovery:

Love them unconditionally

Relationships are a two-way street. You need each other to live, learn and grow in life. If one side of the partnership weakens, the other must do whatever possible to pick them back up. When your significant other has depression they are in a vulnerable position. No matter the things they say to you, you must love them unconditionally and make sure they know you love them. Be straightforward about how much you care. They may need constant, clear signals that someone loves them and cares. For someone with depression, knowing at least one person their life cares about them makes a huge difference.

Be there for them

It’s easy to want to distance yourself from your significant other, especially if they are being hostile or negative toward you. Of course, be willing to give your partner space when they need itit, but more often than not they will need you there to lean on. You may be surprised how willing they are to talk as long as he knows you’re willing to listen. Make sure he knows that you will always be there for him when he needs somebody to talk to or lean on.

Have a plan for the bad days

Everyone has their ups and downs. When your significant other has a low day, make sure you have a game plan. Have something prepared to help lift their spirits and improve their mood. It can be anything from yoga to watching his favorite movie. Make sure it’s something your partner loves and cares about, otherwise it may not work. Having alternative activities to do on the bad days is a step in the right direction to help your significant other return to their old self and be much happier about life.