COLUMN: Michael Paskevich

     I've finally figured out why I bother to see some of the smaller shows that dot the Las Vegas landscape.
      It's so you won't have to.
      As ticket prices for midline shows climb near the $40 mark -- still less than half the price of "Siegfried & Roy" at The Mirage -- it seemed a worthy quest to see what $7.95 a person fetches these days.
      How about a pair of drinks and a seat in a dank little show space on the second floor of the dreary Nevada Palace casino on Boulder Highway?
      Don't get too excited now.
      The smoky venue is home to a newly arrived production, and I use the term loosely, called "Blue Eyes," an alleged tribute to the great Frank Sinatra. It stars Jack Cane, a recent replacement for Nick DeGidio who was described by one of the cast members as follows: "Nick looked a lot like Sinatra but he sang like a hound dog."
      If new arrival Cane doesn't sound like a dead-ringer for Sinatra, he looks like him even less. A slightly portly middle-aged gent in the requisite tux and toupee (one hopes), Cane revealed a pleasant enough manner and a decent if underpowered midrange croon at a recent show.
      That provided some solace at a show that prompted one companion to begin moaning, "This is so sad, this is so sad," within minutes of the opening curtain -- a swath of fading red cloth hung like a shower curtain over the low-rise stage.
      Backed by three youngish, not particularly curvaceous, female dancers and one young male dancer in an ill-fitting tux, Cane welcomed the throng of 16 strong to "our little show" with a sung-to-tape rendition of "It Was a Very Good Year."
      That wistful tune would provide the thematic link for a 70-minute overview of the life, times and music of the best saloon singer to ever walk the earth.
      No doubt the well-intentioned folks behind "Blue Eyes" thought they could pull this whole thing off with a few costumes, some plodding dance steps and pictures of Sinatra that are beamed, in no particular order, onto a ragged white scrim in the middle of the stage. Just add some biographical information, a couple of cheapo effects and let it rip.
      Alas, it comes off like a pseudo-educational play put on by high school drama class dropouts.
      It's actually quite funny in a lip-biting sort of way, much like watching the talent-challenged strut their stuff in the film comedy "Waiting For Guffman." And to further stretch the cinematic parallels, this ambitious but horribly unrealized show comes across like a movie by hapless director Ed Wood.
      Just as Wood's big-budget movie dreams burned like so many paper-plate flying saucers, you can almost imagine the big "USO Show" production number that ended up as one dancing lad in a white sailor suit, swabbing the stage as a cohort talks of Sinatra being "a man to fill the lonely hours" during World War II.
      Photos of actress Ava Gardner, who broke his heart in 1941, are displayed as Cane sings "I'm in Love." The women don snap-brim hats for the Las Vegas years, and Sinatra's big comeback at Madison Square Garden in 1974 finds Cane gesturing to the unseen cheap seats.
      Hey, it was either this or Rich Little at the Sahara.
      The show's promise of being "interactive" was borne out by Cane's amiable wanderings through the crowd, such as it was, where he shook hands when not signaling for a slow-moving lighting guy to pick up the pace. And when he sang the line from "The Lady is a Tramp" about blowing in some guy's ear, one of the dancers sneaked up on an unsuspecting dude and did exactly that.
      Amazing. Unforgettable.
      They can feel free to use these quotes, and there's a temptation to simply give this bizarre, misguided affair "Show of the Year" right now and mess things up for the rest of the competition. But that might seem mean-spirited, just as knocking "Blue Eyes" too hard is akin to drop-kicking a puppy.
      And lest you think that this tome reeks of the snobbery that comes with too many visits to "Mystere," be aware that there are some worthy little shows out there. There's even a karaoke Elvis, Jim LeBoeuf, who is playing for free at Go's West, a bar at 208 E. Sahara Ave. next to a Texaco station.
      He's got some of the zeal and enthusiasm missing from the bigger-budgeted "Blue Eyes," which plays at 8 p.m. today and at 7 and 9 p.m. Saturdays. And don't forget, the $7.95 admission at Nevada Palace, 5255 Boulder Highway, includes all the taxes. Such a deal.
     
      Michael Paskevich's entertainment columns appear Fridays and Sundays.