Family Court: Contested divorces leave children caught in the cross fire

      Tears filled Tina Esquivel's eyes as she sat on a couch in her southeast Las Vegas home and discussed the pain of an ongoing custody battle that started about six years ago.
      "The only way to hurt me - take my kids," the 29-year-old mother said. "That's my heart. That's my life. That's what I live for. That's me - my kids."
      Esquivel says her ex-husband Robert Young sought custody of their three children as a way to punish her for refusing to stay with him. Young, 31, insists he wanted to provide a more moral environment for his children.
      Like many contested custody cases, the dispute between Esquivel and Young has involved allegations of wrongdoing by each parent against the other. It also serves as an example of the types of difficult decisions Family Court judges face every day.
      Some of those involved in the system say the adversarial nature of divorce cases creates no-win situations for families. They say children, who often lack representation, end up suffering the most -- caught in the middle of emotionally charged custody fights that can drag on for years.
      "This custody-finding process is brutal on the children, who are treated like pieces of furniture," said Las Vegas attorney Andrew Myers, who earns about one-third of his income from domestic cases.
      Esquivel and Young were practically children themselves in April 1984, when the pair exchanged wedding vows in Douglas County. Esquivel was 16; Young was 18.
      "I was pregnant, but it was kind of like a planned thing," Esquivel said. "We ran away to get married. We got a lawyer, and my dad signed the papers."
      Nearly three months later, Esquivel gave birth to the couple's first child, a boy. The couple's second son was born in October 1986.
      Although the marriage formally ended in September 1988, the couple's relationship continued for almost two more years. Esquivel gave birth to their third child, a girl, in August 1989.
      Since then, Esquivel has been through two more divorces. She had a fourth child, a son, with the man who became her third husband. After that marriage ended, she became pregnant by another man.
      "This was a big mistake, but I couldn't abort," Esquivel said in December. "I don't have the heart to abort it. I debated it."
      She said the baby's father, Jose Rodriguez, disappeared for a while during her pregnancy, but he later returned. Esquivel said she married him March 2, and their baby is due in about three weeks.
      Young said he married his second wife, Lana, in April 1992. In addition to Young's three children from his first marriage, who range in age from 7 to 12, the couple are raising their 5-year-old daughter and Lana's 12-year-old son from a previous marriage.
      Esquivel and Young broke up for good in 1990 and began feuding over custody a short time later. The pair went through several custody arrangements until early 1992, when they settled on a plan that gave Young primary physical custody of the two boys and Esquivel custody of the girl.
      "My boys, I let them go," Esquivel said. "I had to. It was too hard."
      She said the court fights were taking their toll on her and the children. She recalled her sons telling her they hated her and wanted to live with their father.
      "I said, 'Somebody's got to quit. Somebody's got to quit this battle,` " Esquivel said.
      Young said he decided to seek custody of the pair's 7-year-old daughter, Amanda, late last year, because he believed his ex-wife "wasn't making safe decisions concerning the children." He stopped short of calling Esquivel a bad parent, but he claimed she lacks morality.
      "That is the reason I went for my daughter," he said. "I've always wanted her."
      The case came to Family Court Judge Steven Jones, who referred the matter to the court's Family Mediation & Assessment Center for emergency services. The Review-Journal has obtained a copy of the agency's report, dated Nov. 20.
      In the report, family specialist Joyce Gallina said her study of the case suggested the child's stability "could be best ensured in Robert's care."
      Gallina questioned Esquivel's ability "to provide a stable and secure home environment," but the family specialist said a change of custody "should be contingent upon Robert's commitment to family counseling."
      In early December, Jones ruled in favor of Young and awarded him custody of the daughter. Esquivel said she gave up her daughter six days later -- on her 29th birthday.
      Esquivel, a craps dealer at a Las Vegas casino, said she has one downfall: her desire to help others. At times she has allowed as many as five additional family members to live in her modest four-bedroom house.
      According to Gallina's report, "Study results appeared to confirm Tina's home environment is somewhat chaotic."
      Young, a concrete mixer, also owns a modest four-bedroom house. In addition to his wife and the five children, Young's sister and brother-in-law have been residing there. He said he and his children have attended weekly counseling sessions.
      After losing custody of her daughter, Esquivel hired attorney Mary Mahler, who filed a motion for reconsideration. Jones heard the motion in late January and scheduled an evidentiary hearing for February.
      Young hired attorney Xavier Gonzales to help him prepare for the hearing.
      The judge heard testimony on behalf of both parents before taking the matter under advisement. He made his decision a week later, ordering Young to return Amanda to her mother.
      Jones said Young had failed to meet the burden required to effectuate a change of custody. According to Nevada case law, a change of custody is warranted only when "the circumstances of the parents have been materially altered" and "the child's welfare would be substantially enhanced by the change."
      While Esquivel admitted she had made poor choices in the past, she since "has made changes for the better," Jones said. He said the evidence failed to show that Esquivel "has not properly cared for, or is incapable to provide for, Amanda's physical or emotional needs."
      Gonzales said Jones failed to explain what evidence changed his opinion about the case between December, when he took Amanda away from Esquivel, and February, when he returned custody of the child to her mother. He also said the judge could have helped ensure a smooth transition for Amanda by allowing her to finish out the semester at the school she was attending near her father's home, instead of ordering Young to return the girl to her mother "forthwith."
      Esquivel picked up Amanda on March 3 and re-enrolled the girl in the school she had been attending before she went to live with her father.
      Young vowed to appeal the judge's decision to the Nevada Supreme Court.
      "I won't give up my daughter," he said. "Absolutely not."
      Esquivel said she cried tears of joy when she learned Jones had ruled in her favor. She said she will continue working with Young to coordinate visitation.
      "I always believe in that theory: Children need their mother and their father, whether they're divorced or not," she said.