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Sunday, November 18, 2001
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal COLUMN: John L. Smith Downturn depresses tease-and-tassel, but skin joints seek no stimulus
The local economy had been flat, but Pete Eliades didn't want to believe it. Truth is, the concept of flat is not part of his business plan. The proprietor of the Olympic Garden topless cabaret on Las Vegas Boulevard figured his business featured just about the most recession-proof product known to man: Woman. Make that nearly naked woman. With tragedies of every degree, a knee-deep economic recession, and the military bombing the Taliban back to the Rubble Age, there are a lot of weighty issues in this world. This is not one of them. But the truth is, much has changed throughout America in the wake of the 9-11 disaster. Even the hoochie-coochie business. This week, Eliades and other local skin joint operators believed their fortunes would rebound with the arrival of the annual army of frisky Comdex conventioneers. Upward of 200,000 attendees were expected, with many thousands of those making Pete's place and other lounges their second homes. But this year not even the tease-and-tassel hustle has been economically foolproof. With the country in crisis and the airline industry in chaos, Comdex Fall 2001 has been less than spectacular, with thousands of attendees and dozens of technology vendors canceling. That's a lot of laps not being danced on. That's a lot of greenbacks not gingerly slipping into G-strings. As banking industry executives and casino bosses long have known, the G-string is the world's most efficient bill acceptor. With political authorities as high as U.S. Sen. Harry Reid working overtime to put together an economic stimulus package to bail out the tourism industry, it made me wonder whether the employees of Southern Nevada's recessed adult businesses would be included somehow. Next to gambling, the sex trade is arguably the biggest industry in Las Vegas. For his part, Eliades isn't overly worried that his dancers will lose so much business that they won't be able to feed themselves. The most successful earn in excess of $200,000 a year. So there's no fear of them starving. Besides, Eliades says: "Some customers, they like skinny girls." That's the spirit, Pete. Shortly after 9-11, Mayor Oscar Goodman announced to all America that the best way to overcome this economic downturn was to get out and spend some money -- preferably in Las Vegas. (It should be noted that Goodman majored in law, not economics, at the University of Pennsylvania.) He meant, of course, that the only way for tip-earning service workers to survive and pay their mortgages was to have customers to serve. It's not exactly the advice given citizens during World War II, but then times have changed. Gone are the Victory gardens and gasoline rationing of previous generations. Listen to sources ranging from Gov. Kenny Guinn to President George W. Bush, and you'll hear calls to get out there and drive, fly or even take the train to business and vacation destinations. Share the wealth, America! Get out there and work a little MasterCard CPR on the nation's economy. Bust that piggy bank and party on. And don't forget to fly the Stars and Stripes. Well, Mr. Mayor, does your plan include the community's legion of undulating underwear models? Silly question. "Right now, I'm going to urge all able-bodied constituents to go out and have a lap dance," Goodman says, grinning. Why, to do less would be downright un-American. Something tells me the mayor's encouragement won't be accepted as an excuse in many Southern Nevada households. I can almost hear the quarrels now: Wife, standing in doorway at 2 a.m.: "Where have you been?" Husband, standing on porch, thinking quickly: "Just following the mayor's orders, honey. Doing my patriotic duty." The next sound you hear is a front door slamming. For his part, the Olympic Garden's Eliades has followed Sen. Reid's economic stimulus proposal with interest. But by his calculations, the topless business will survive this downturn without massive layoffs. "Tell my friend the senator not to send me any money," Eliades says. "I'm doing OK." Economic stimulation, indeed. John L. Smith's column appears Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. E-mail him at Smith@lvrj.com or call him at 383-0295.
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