Friday, November 01, 2002
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

NIGHT BEAT: Doug Elfman

Rolling Stone falls from grace to parody

You know, the teenage-centric, pop culture web has gotten so silly that it's satire waiting to be parodied. To wit, "Saturday Night Live" news comedian Tina Fey has slammed Rolling Stone's latest naked cover girl, the uber-randy Christina Aguilera, with ease. Some time ago, she cracked:

"A female version of Viagra is expected to be released next year with the promise of giving women faster arousal and better orgasms. The pill is so strong, doctors warn the increased speed of arousal might cause Christina Aguilera's vagina to time travel."

And more recently: "In entertainment news, has anybody seen that new Christina Aguilera video? I think it gave my TV genital warts."

Warts and all, Aguilera is front and center on Rolling Stone this month, nude with a few fingers on one breast and a guitar neck on the other one. The headline: "Inside the Dirty Mind of a Pop Princess." "Dirrty" just happens to be the name of Aguilera's new single.

The Rolling Stone profile on Aguilera runs 28 paragraphs before any discussion of music comes up. Those first 28 paragraphs detail Aguilera's habit of breaking glasses to relieve stress, her penchant for nudity and her public image as being dirty.

I don't really mind Aguilera. I think of her as an immature stripper with a strong voice. Her new album, "Stripped," is both good and a bit cheesy. But how bad has Rolling Stone become that this historic and prime "music" magazine continues to focus on music only so deep as Aguilera's pores?

Bobcat Goldthwait once joked that Rolling Stone used to stand for rebellion, but that now it's, like: Hey look, a new CD ad! Bobcat made that joke in 1987. In the 15 years since, Rolling Stone has been turned into a Teen People for 13-year-olds and for those Peter Pan adults who actually think it's cool to buy Rolling Stone because Britney Spears is on the cover for the fifth or sixth time in two years.

If you want, hold your breath for a return to quality, but the magazine editorship was just taken over by a guy from Maxim, which is a fun-silly read itself, but how many lad magazines do we need on the shelf? Rolling Stone's new take on content offers little promo blurbs everywhere. And its main thrust remains a tradition: To promote musicians who are on music labels that buy ads in Rolling Stone. Some rebellion.

The Confessional format

The funniest commentary on a rock band in a while appears in the latest issue of Spin magazine, in which experts on cults discuss whether the wide-eyed, singalong fans of Dashboard Confessional exhibit cultish behavior.

What is the secret behind Dashboard Confessional's crazed appeal? The obvious answer is singer Chris Carrabba. He's got tattoos, yes. But he's also a sensitive, one-time hard-core rocker who softened then sang, "My heart is yours to fill or burst, or break or bury, or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer." He's also got a big head of dark hair, serious eyebrows, long sideburns and no body fat. He skateboards. Get the picture?

Dashboard Confessional, which plays the House of Blues tonight, is also emo. Emo music, for those of you who stopped keeping up with music somewhere around the new wave or ska eras, is simply emotional music. It's often acoustic and soulful such as Dashboard's stuff. It's an outgrowth of punk and hard-core screaming, even though it has evolved into confessional music made by anti-establishment, singer-songwriters with tattoos.

Dashboard Confessional, from the sensitive Tatooine of Boca Raton, Fla., accrued a big fan base in high school circles around here last school year, thanks in part to the modern-rock single, "Screaming Infidelities."

None of this ought to suggest that Dashboard Confessional doesn't deserve newfound glory. In fact, Carrabba's melodic and intimate writing skills are undercut by such tags as the one MTV slapped on him, as the "reigning king of pain." Just because a guy opens his heart doesn't mean he's a king, or full of pain. Unless, that is, his name is dead self-killer Nick Drake. Now there was a guy who wore a crown of forlorn.

Doors open at 6 p.m. for the all-ages show. Tickets are $20 at the box office, 3950 Las Vegas Blvd. South, and through Ticketmaster. To charge by phone, call 632-7600.

Opening acts include pop-modern rock band Hot Rod Circuit, sensitive indie-rocker Rhett Miller (lead singer of the Old 97's) and pop-punk's Noise Ratchet. Sponsors aren't normally mention-worthy, but the wall-hangings of middle school art that will be on site will have been put there by Kodak, for a variety of charitable and marketing reasons you don't want to know about.

Gone 'til November

The Huntridge, which closed on New Year's Day, then sold to a new owner, reopens this weekend with a fresher, redder look, plus a new sound system. The place's Saturday show is topped by the historic, English punk band, the Damned.

The opening acts include the solid, speed-punk band Nekromantix and Throw Rag, which bills itself thus: "Take the devil himself ... rear him in a trailer park and give him the helm of the HMS Bounty and you get the idea."

Showtime for the all-ages concert is 7 p.m. Tickets are $13 in advance, and $15 on the day of the show, at the box office, 1208 E. Charleston Blvd., and through Ticketmaster, or charge by phone at 474-4000.

The Huntridge hosts its first show of the month at 6 p.m. tonight with 10 local bands for $5.

'Round town

Mexico's big rock-en-Español band Jaguares performs at 8 p.m. Sunday at the Hard Rock Hotel. The opener is El Primer Instinto. Tickets are $37.50 at the box office, 4455 Paradise Road, and through Ticketmaster. To charge by phone, call 693-5066. ...

The jam Pork Tornado, fronted by by Phish drummer Jon Fishman, performs Sunday at the House of Blues, for all those jam-band fans who won't have gotten enough of noodle-dancing at the String Cheese Incident shows tonight and Saturday at the Rio Pavilion. Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets are $17 at the box office and through Ticketmaster. ...

And the Double Down Saloon stages a post-Halloween ball and costume contest tonight with metal-headed Vermin, along with the Showgirls and the local woman-fronted rockers the Pull Outs. Showtime is 10 p.m. Admission is free at the Double Down, 4640 Paradise Road. For more information, call 791-5775.