Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

HUSBAND LENDS SUPPORT: Tragedy can't sideline Packer

Losing parents to cancer hasn't defeated UNLV soccer player

By JEFF WOLLARD
REVIEW-JOURNAL

UNLV senior Cosette Packer views soccer as much more than a game.

For the past three years, the Rebels' standout forward has used the sport as an escape. A diversion. A necessity.

Though the 21-year-old Packer is having the best season of her career, she long ago gained the respect of her coach and teammates for her extraordinary ability to conquer battles off the field.

Packer has dealt with much hardship and tragedy since graduating from Green Valley High School in 1999. She has emerged as a better student, better athlete and better person.

Packer's life took a tragic turn near the end of her sophomore season at UNLV when her mother, Deborah Joffs, was diagnosed with cancer. Soon after, her father, Wayne Joffs, suffered a heart attack.

While balancing her academic and athletic loads, Packer cared for both parents until her mother's death on Dec. 30, 2000.

To complicate matters, her father became virtually helpless after a series of strokes.

"Me and my brother had to reteach him everything," Packer said. "We had to teach him how to walk and how to do all the things you take for granted."

Packer's commitments at home limited her ability to maintain a regular schedule on the field. Even so, she could not walk away from soccer.

"Soccer was a release for me," Packer said. "It helped me get through everything."

But there was more heartache to come. Packer's father was diagnosed with cancer in July 2001, and she was forced to make some decisions about her future.

"My junior year was the hardest year I've ever faced," she said. "I wasn't able to finish the season and wasn't sure if I could continue in school. I realized I was going to lose both parents. I wondered what I was going to do and where my life was going."

She stayed in school, but missed the final six games of the season.

UNLV coach Dan Abdalla was instrumental in helping Packer develop a workable balance.

"When all of that happened, nothing mattered except what was best for Cosette," Abdalla said. "I just let her do whatever she felt most comfortable with, and I tried to give her whatever she needed to help get herself through it."

Packer's teammates also rallied behind her.

"This is a special group of girls we have," Abdalla said. "We're really lucky with the chemistry we've got. Any one of these girls would do anything for their teammates."

That support was helpful, but as her dad's condition worsened, there still was a giant void in Packer's life -- until she met her future husband, Scott Packer, one day at church.

"He became my best friend through everything," she said. "He has always been by my side."

Soon after, the couple was engaged.

"Scott asked for my hand in marriage, and my dad loved him from the day they met," Packer said. "I was his baby girl, and he just wanted me to be happy."

As Packer became close with Scott's family, his parents began attending her games. Their support became all the more valuable when her father died this year, 10 days before her July 6 wedding.

"It was a very hard concept for me to understand at the time, but it was kind of nice to know my parents were together in heaven to see me get married," Packer said.

Thanks largely to Packer's emotional rebound, the Rebels (10-6-1, 2-3 Mountain West) are having one of their best seasons. Packer has scored six goals and hopes to lead UNLV into the NCAA tournament next month.

"This is the first year I haven't had to go home and nurse a parent," she said. "I have a husband who supports me and is extremely understanding about the commitment and time (soccer) takes."

Packer said the ordeal has made her a better person.

"I am so thankful for every little thing I have in life," she said. "And I'm grateful for every single person -- friends, family and siblings."

She plans to graduate with a communications degree in the spring. Abdalla has no doubts about Packer's future.

"She'll be successful in whatever she decides to go into," he said. "But we're going to miss her enthusiasm. She leads by example. We're going to have one big hole to fill."