Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

COLUMN: John L. Smith

Bennett's bottom line on gambling out of balance in more than one way

It's only a rumor that America's Mr. Moral Compass William Bennett was researching the sequel to his best-selling "The Book of Virtues" last week when he was outed after blowing $8 million on slots and video poker.

And, really, who'd want to read a work titled "The Book of Vices" by a man who considers pulling slot handles a game of skill?

Bennett, the nation's self-appointed oracle of family values, is many things. The former secretary of education. The nation's former drug czar. The author of many books. And, obviously, a helluva good customer at Caesars in Atlantic City and the Bellagio.

But a shining example of how to gamble responsibly, he ain't.

Although Bennett's allies split an electron-sized hair by reminding the cackling masses that their man never actually came out against the evils of gambling -- he argued against the expansion of legalized gambling -- the fact is his hellacious slot Jones and comical mea culpa make him one bell-ringing hypocrite.

"It is true that I have gambled large sums of money. I have also complied with all laws on reporting wins and losses," Bennett said in a statement through his Empower America conservative think tank after stories were broken in Newsweek and The Washington Monthly.

"Nevertheless, I have done too much gambling, and this is not an example I wish to set."

His example: gamble and lose millions, but don't get caught or you'll risk losing those $50,000 morality pep talks and royalties from such works as "The Death of Outrage," "The Moral Compass," "The Children's Book of Heroes," "The Children's Book of Virtues" and so on.

Who knew that the "Moral Compass" was magnetically drawn to the video poker machines and that the kiddie heroes guide included a chapter on Amarillo Slim?

What next, "The Sports Book of Virtues" and "Hot Slots for Moral Tots?"

If you think Bennett plans to come clean with a sense of humor, think again.

"Over 10 years, I'd say I've come out pretty close to even," Bennett told Newsweek.

This is what most knowledgeable gambling researchers would refer to as Class A 99.44 percent pure bull manure. (Some experts consider lying about gambling winnings a warning sign of compulsion. In Las Vegas, compulsive gambling is defined as "devoted casino customer.")

Nobody pulls the high roller slots for that many years and stays "pretty close to even," unless you define "even" as "flat broke."

"There's no way he could be close to even," says Las Vegas Advisor Publisher Anthony Curtis, one of the most respected gambling sources in the country. "The odds are insurmountable. The machines will beat him with irrefutable math."

Adds addiction specialist Dr. Rob Hunter of the Problem Gambling Center: "It's kind of tough to outwit a microchip."

Apparently, it's easier to outwit the public.

Contrast Bennett's lack of candor with U.S. Sen. John McCain's stance against college sports betting. When I confronted McCain, R-Ariz., with the apparent duplicity, through a spokesman he offered a credible response: He'd never come out against gambling, only against gambling on amateur sports. He didn't blush or dissemble.

Nor did McCain suddenly abandon gambling because it was "not an example" he wished to set. In short, McCain was a man, not a political weasel.

Here's the most pathetic part of Bennett's morality tale: He lost a fortune playing the video crack machines and those mind-numbing slots.

He's not a gambler. He's a rube.

"Certainly he's the ultimate gambling sucker," Curtis says. That's not a criticism of Bennett's habits, Curtis notes, just his unsophisticated choice of game.

Psychologist Hunter adds, "You cannot play at that level for 10 years and break even. That would be foreign to my experience."

Some professional video poker players exist, but they combine a knowledge of math and machine pay schedules with tournament play and slot club perks to flatten the odds favoring the house.

Anyone who, as reported, wired $1.4 million to cover slot losses at one casino isn't playing with much of a clue.

Virtuous books aside, Bennett would have been wiser to read "Blackjack for Dummies."

John L. Smith's column appears Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call 383-0295.