Friday, January 21, 2005 Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

SHOW REVIEW: Overseas, Underwhelming

The somewhat topless 'Aussie Angels' comes to the Hilton as the latest and least of the girlie shows

The cast members of "Aussie Angels" collectively stand chest-and-shoulders above most of the Las Vegas competition. It's just that they traveled a very long way to do very little in a low-budget revue.

Well, now we know how many girlie shows are too many for Las Vegas.

"Aussie Angels" is the seventh that snaps the G-string, after arriving at the Las Vegas Hilton in November as the latest and least of the bunch.

Hey guys, you want to see dancers shimmy in cutesy "Austin Powers" get-ups when "La Femme" turns naked women into genuine '60s-era psychedelic kaleidoscopes?

Or how about watching pot-bellied guys come out of the audience for grass-skirt hula lessons instead of watching two women cavort on a bed in "X"?

Didn't think so.

Staged in the limited confines of the Hilton's Shimmer Cabaret, "Angels" is basically a mirror image of "Thunder From Down Under," the Excalibur male revue from the same producer, Adam Steck. It follows an identical formula of group numbers built around a costumed theme -- the military is a favorite of both -- before one of the dancers steps forth with a featured solo.

As such, it proves the difference is not so much in the way men and women's hot buttons are wired -- though it's a factor -- as much as the outside marketplace. "Thunder" had a head start on three other male revues. "Angels" showed up so late in its game that it needed to build a better mousetrap. But the ideas are as limited as the budget.

Beyond a flurry of costume changes for the eight female performers, the only props you will find are chairs. That's fine for a one-night tour stop in Anytown, Down Under, but in Las Vegas?

And yet, things still might have clicked with the personalities. Have we ever met an Australian we didn't like?

In the looks department, the cast collectively stands chest-and-shoulders above most of the competition. One look at the "Aussie Angels" poster art raises the hopes of any red-blooded male that the budget won't matter if the women are fun and sexy, right?

Wrong.

"Thunder" choreographer Sharon Ridley also staged the "Angels," which may explain why the dancers stomp around like men instead of heating up the stage with any real eroticism. And would that really be possible, dancing to the Beach Boys' "Surfin' U.S.A."?

It's like someone decided to open a Christian strip club. Think of Ned Flanders from the "Simpsons" opening his own "Hi-Diddily-Ho Topless Show," and you've got the idea.

There is also an unintentional caste system, resulting from a miscommunication in which some of the dancers didn't learn the show would be topless until they got here. Those who objected got off the hook, while two or three others repeatedly pop their bras to compensate. Doesn't seem fair.

And the fun? The two hostesses who speak into live microphones have not yet learned that if you take time to ask an audience member his name, you should have, well, a reason. Like maybe a joke. "Tomas? ... Sounds good to me" doesn't count.

A couple of good ideas are briefly tested, such as a "Kill Bill" sequence complete with the Uma Thurman/Bruce Lee jumpsuit, or the female cat burglars who explore the crowd with flashlights.

But to get to them you will have to endure a soundtrack that includes a club remix of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" as well as a club remix of the cancan. Not to mention the Spice Girls.

"This show is not a gimmick," one of the emcees proclaims in the beginning, touting her Australian authenticity.

Too bad. It sure could have used one.