"Arrested Development," which airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on KVVU-TV, Channel 5, is in need of rescue. It ranks 99th in the ratings. Tambor Walter Bateman Arnett Hale Rossi Cross Shawkat Cera

For believing that the earth orbited the sun, Galileo died under house arrest.

For laying the groundwork for ethics and philosophy, Socrates was sentenced to death by poisoning.

And for creating the most intricately woven, wickedly smart series ever to make it to television, Mitchell Hurwitz has to watch his "Arrested Development" get slapped around in the ratings by the likes of "Yes, Dear," "Still Standing" and any number of schlumpy-guy-with-a-hot-wife sitcoms.

Humanity has a long history of punishing visionaries, but this is ridiculous.

So as "AD" returns from its baseball-imposed hiatus to face still more ratings abuse, (back-to-back episodes begin at 8 p.m. today on KVVU-TV, Channel 5), Hurwitz could be forgiven if he were to start eyeballing a hemlock smoothie.

His faux documentary series, narrated by Ron Howard, details the daily lives of the Bluths, Newport Beach, Calif., socialites brought down by developer and patriarch George Bluth's arrest. They've been reduced to living in a rapidly disintegrating model home, the company's only remaining asset other than the "stair car" -- the movable stairway for the private jet they once owned -- that has become their primary mode of transportation.

"We'd be remiss," Hurwitz said in September, while accepting his second straight Emmy for comedy writing, "if we didn't point out the fact that the academy has twice rewarded us for something that you people won't watch."

So what's keeping you away?

Too much acclaim? Let's face it, the sheer tonnage of praise heaped upon the series can be a turn-off. That type of outpouring from critics is usually reserved for those stuffy, four-hour British character studies in which a couple sips tea while talking in circles and pondering the meaning of life. But I assure you, there is absolutely nothing British about "AD." Except for the current storyline that implicates British operatives in an elaborate set-up that framed Bluth for building palaces for Saddam. But that's it.

Too different? Sure, there's no laugh track, there's nothing resembling a traditional punch line and it even sounds vaguely British. But in the most recent episode, it was revealed that Bluth-by-marriage Tobias, a psychiatrist-turned-actor, once combined the jobs of analyst and therapist. The next shot was of his business card and the unfortunate term he coined for this new specialty: "Dr. Tobias Fünke, Analrapist." Let's see the Brits come up with that.

Too intricate? You may have heard about the inside jokes, like the one in which a dead shark, crucial to another piece of the story, blocked the path of Henry Winkler's character, forcing him to hop over it. (Fonzie jumped the shark!) Or maybe you're afraid of having to pay attention to scenes that set up jokes weeks or even a season in advance. But there are so many laughs, you could miss a half-dozen or so and still be fully entertained. If you can follow even a third of "Lost," you can handle "AD."

Too unlikable? Fine, you wouldn't want to spend time with any of the characters in the real world. But you watched "Seinfeld" for cryin' out loud. Take away Jerry's studio audience and the programs really aren't that different.

I'll admit, I didn't fully get it at first. It took a couple of episodes to really appreciate "AD's" rhythms. But now I can't imagine life without it.

Sadly, if ratings don't turn around soon, I'll have to. (Even "Head Cases," which the same network canceled after just two episodes, averaged nearly a half-million more viewers than "AD," which ranks 99th in the ratings so far this season.)

But if audiences continue to reject smart comedy, future generations will be subjected to more mind-numbing dreck. (Coming in 2030: Apple Paltrow and Maddox Jolie in "If I'm So Fat, Why'd You Marry Me?".)

I believe that children are the future. If you won't watch "AD" for yourself, for the love of Galileo, won't you do it for them?

Christopher Lawrence's Life on the Couch column appears on Mondays. E-mail him at clawrence@reviewjournal.com.

THE BLUTH FAMILY

Here's a quick rundown of the characters, so you have one less excuse for not watching "Arrested Development":

George Bluth

(Jeffrey Tambor)

Father

Developer; keeps escaping federal custody; can never be trusted; invented the "Cornballer," a frying device responsible for scarring countless Mexicans; made "Caged Wisdom" line of spiritual tapes from prison

Lucille Bluth

(Jessica Walter)

Mother

Socialite; cold and distant; manipulative; drinks too much; had affair with George's identical twin, Oscar; adopted Korean teenager out of spite; talked into volunteering son Buster for the army by a Michael Moore impersonator during a bit for "Jimmy Kimmel Live"

Michael Bluth

(Jason Bateman)

The honest one

President of the Bluth Company; tries to keep family members out of jail and bankruptcy; rides bike to work or drives "stair car" to save money; widower

George Oscar "G.O.B." Bluth II

(Will Arnett)

Oldest sibling

Name is pronounced "Jobe," but is often mistaken for "Gob"; terrible magician; usually seen riding a Segway; appeared in "Girls With Low Self-Esteem" video series; has puppet named Franklin; just learned he has a teenage son; catchphrase: "I've made a huge mistake"

Byron "Buster" Bluth

(Tony Hale)

Youngest sibling

Quick to panic; spent 11 months in the womb (doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of his mother's uterus); dated his mother's rival, Lucille II (Liza Minnelli); had affair with his mother's robotic sweeper; loves juice; emotionally scarred by Lucille, who coddled him; physically scarred by a "loose seal" that bit off his hand; catchphrase: "Hey, brother"

Lindsay Bluth Fünke

(Portia de Rossi)

Michael's twin

Loves to shop; prone to charitable work, purely for the social benefits; founder of failed businesses "Mommy, What Will I Look Like?," which projected how infants will appear as adults, and the animal coloring business Dip-A-Pet; unhappily married

Tobias Fünke

(David Cross)

Lindsay's husband

Sexually ambivalent; as a "never-nude" won't wear anything less than cutoffs; studied acting under Carl Weathers; former back-up for Blue Man Group, his blue smudges often can be seen around the house; after briefly leaving Lindsay, dressed as nanny "Mrs. Featherbottom" to spend time with his daughter

Maeby Fünke

(Alia Shawkat)

Lindsay and Tobias' 15-year-old daughter

Hates her parents; conned her way into job as a movie executive; passed herself off as dying twin, Surely Fünke, to raise money for a fake disease; member, with her parents, of Dr. Fünke's 100% Natural Good-Time Family-Band Solution, a folk group that shilled for a pharmaceutical company

George Michael Bluth

(Michael Cera)

Michael's 15-year-old son

So nervous he twitches; works in the family's frozen banana stand; keeps perfect time; dated Ann, the world's plainest, most forgettable girl; loves his windbreaker; lusts after his cousin Maeby