I regret I wasn't able to attend Tuesday's civility in democracy discussion at the Boyd School of Law on the UNLV campus.

It wouldn't have hurt me to learn something about civility.

Titled "Demeanor of Democracy: Civility in Public Discourse," the gathering was sponsored by UNLV's Center for Democratic Culture and is an example of the good things going on amid the glitz and glitter of the community.

In the interest of furthering the discussion, I've collected a few thoughts from that gloriously uncivilized fellow Mark Twain on the subject of politics, democracy and the general state of human nature.

As you will see, Twain's ideas and observations, written more than a century ago, are terribly out of date and can't possibly apply to modern American politics in our civilized society.

Can they?

Mr. Twain, please proceed:

"It is my conviction that the human race is no proper target for harsh words and bitter criticisms, and that the only justifiable feeling toward it is compassion; it did not invent itself, and it had nothing to do with the planning of its weak and foolish character."

So he says. But I've heard we live in a Christian nation. Presumably, that would include at least one or two members of Congress.

"Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame; because honor to party is above honor to themselves. It is an accepted law of public life that in it a man may soil his honor in the interest of party expediency -- must do it when party expedience requires it. They have filched the money to take care of the party; they believe it was right to do it; they do not see how their private honor is affected; therefore their consciences are clear and at rest."

Now there's a man who understands the soul of government.

"All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them," Twain says, "on account of personal experience and heredity."

But, truly, isn't one party better than another when it comes to, say, guarding the public purse strings?

"Political parties who accuse the one in power of gobbling the spoils etc. are like the wolf who looked in at the door and saw the shepherds eating mutton, and said:

"'Oh, certainly -- it's all right as long as it's you -- but there'd be hell to pay if I was to do that.'"

Surely you can't believe that. These days, a lack of respect for Congress makes you a radical, or at least a comedian with his own television show.

Twain replies, "The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."

Always suspected as much. But you must agree that in the past century society has improved its ability to reason. Aren't we all just trying to be fair and balanced?

"Does the human being reason?" Twain asks. "No, he thinks, muses, reflects, but doesn't reason. Thinks about a thing; rehearses its statistics and its parts and applies to them what other people on his side of the question have said about them. ...

"He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his side, and nothing more."

That's pure cynicism, and cynicism has no place in politics. If it did, then the rubes might catch on and stop voting.

The next thing I know, you're going to question our very nature as God-fearing folk. That seems terribly uncivilized.

"I guess the government that robs its own people earns the future it is preparing for itself," he says.

"Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute but they all worship money."

Oh, that's a relief. I thought it was just me.

But, truly, isn't the real problem all this negativity in the media?

"It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden."

Amen, Mark.

John L. Smith's column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call 383-0295.