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Oct. 07, 2005
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal
MOVIES
Movies are rated on a letter-grade scale, from A to F. Opinions by R-J movie critic Carol Cling (C.C.) are indicated by initials. Other opinions are from wire service critics.
Motion Picture Association of America ratings:
G - General audiences, all ages.
PG - Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.
PG-13 - Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children under 13.
R - Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or guardian.
NC-17 - No one under 17 admitted.
NR - Not rated.
BATMAN BEGINS
(B) It's safe to go back to the Batcave, thanks to this somber yet rousing resurrection of the moribund franchise, as a new leading man (brooding Christian Bale) and a new director ("Memento's" Christopher Nolan) explore the Dark Knight's origins, from his privileged but haunted boyhood as Bruce Wayne to his grown-up mission as Gotham City crime fighter. An IMAX edition gets a delayed Las Vegas run at the Palms just before the movie's Oct. 18 DVD release. (140 min.) PG-13; intense action violence, disturbing images, mature themes. (C.C.)
THE BROTHERS GRIMM
(A-) Do you believe in magic? You will -- provided you're willing to buy a ticket and climb aboard director Terry Gilliam's flying circus, no questions asked. On this trip, Gilliam has a near-perfect metaphor for his creative journey: the story of the storyteller, centering on title drifters Will (a rapscallion Matt Damon) and Jake (entrancingly fanciful Heath Ledger), who swindle superstitious peasants by pretending to vanquish nonexistent evil spirits -- until an evil queen (Monica Bellucci) challenges them with a genuine curse. Gilliam's unquenchably inventive wit and spirit saves the day whenever "Grimm" threatens to lose its way, leading the characters -- and those of us in the audience -- out of the woods and into the light. (118 min.) PG-13; violence, frightening sequences, brief sexual references. (C.C.)
THE CAVE
(D+) What lies beneath? In a mysterious network of Romanian caverns, a ravenous something stalks a group of explorers led by Cole Hauser in this disjointed, overheated effort that also strands Piper Perabo, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian and "Brothers Grimm" co-star Lena Headey. Despite the atmospheric subterranean sets, the murkiest thing about "The Cave" is its direction. The movie tries for chaos and mayhem; it delivers confusion instead. (97 min.) PG-13; intense creature violence.
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
(A-) Scrumdiddlyumptious: The otherworldly, otherweirdly Johnny Depp reunites with visionary director Tim Burton ("Edward Scissorhands," "Ed Wood," "Sleepy Hollow") for a delicious new take on Roald Dahl's tale of eccentric chocolatier Willy Wonka, whose global contest to find a candy-empire heir leads him to Charlie Bucket (Depp's soulful "Neverland" co-star, Freddie Highmore), a poor local lad entranced by Wonka's world. A scrumptious delight in an empty-calories world, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (also in Imax at the Palms' Brenden Theatres) emerges as that rarest of treats: a remake that thinks, and acts, like a brand new movie. (116 min.) PG; quirky situations, action, mild profanity. (C.C.)
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
(A-) When his activist wife (Rachel Weisz) vanishes, a mild-mannered British diplomat (Ralph Fiennes, playing with implosive, depth-charge anguish) stationed in Kenya tries to unravel the reasons for her disappearance --and the reasons for her dedication -- in a gripping thriller, and equally powerful love story, based on spymaster John Le Carr 's novel. "City of God's" Fernando Meirelles directs, but instead of using his showy camera moves to call attention to himself, he uses them to underscore the confounding and, ultimately, heartbreaking contradictions that power the movie's parallel stories. (130 min.) R; violence, sexual situations, nudity, profanity. (C.C.)
CORPSE BRIDE
(B+) Let the skellebration commence! A bury good time will be had by all in Tim Burton's latest animated tale, as a timid bridegroom (voiced by Burton favorite Johnny Depp) finds himself separated from his intended -- and instead wed to the drop-dead gorgeous title character (voiced by Helena Bonham Carter, alias Burton's significant other). Combining the fanciful and the macabre in almost equal measure, "Corpse Bride" nimbly tiptoes between bone-chilling and rib-tickling, scaring up plenty of charming chills. (76 min.) PG; scary images and action, brief profanity. (C.C.)
CRY WOLF
(C) Prep school students spread false rumors that a serial killer's on the loose -- until dead bodies start turning up and their game turns terrifyingly real. This horror outing (starring Julian Morris, Lindy Booth, Jared Padalecki and Jon Bon Jovi) is a sheep in wolf's clothing: a mystery-thriller disguised as a routine dice-and-slice teen horror flick. Give it points for trying something different -- and then take them back for botching the job. (90 min.) PG-13; violence, terror, disturbing images, profanity, sexual situations, brief drug references.
THE DUKES OF HAZZARD
(D) "Hazzardous" waste: If you value your brain cells, steer clear of this cinematic gobbler, a revamp of the '70s TV hit, in which "good ol' boy" Duke cousins Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville) rev up the General Lee, and -- assisted by their comely cousin Daisy (a clueless Jessica Simpson) and moonshine-brewing Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson) -- try to stop corrupt commissioner Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) from destroying the family farm, not to mention all of Hazzard County. The more "Dukes" spins its wheels, the faster it grinds to a halt. And neither the frantic slapstick or the we-don't-know-what-to-do-so-let's-have-another-car-chase sequences alter the movie's gear-grinding desperation. (100 min.) PG-13; sexual references, crude humor, drug use, profanity, action violence. (C.C.)
THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE
(B) Inspired by a real-life German case, this courtroom chiller focuses on a priest (quietly intense Tom Wilkinson) charged with negligent homicide after he tries -- and fails -- to exorcise the demons seemingly tormenting a 19-year-old college student (Jennifer Carpenter). Laura Linney and Campbell Scott (both in formidable form) play the opposing attorneys in a tale of demonic possession that's more interested in exploration than exploitation, demonstrating that what you don't see can be far more frightening than what you do. (114 min.) PG-13; mature themes, intense frightening sequences, disturbing images. (C.C.)
FANTASTIC FOUR
(B-) It's not exactly what you'd call fantastic, but at least the long-running Marvel Comics series, finally materializing on screen, provides fleeting, frenetic fun as space researchers-turned-superheroes Mr. Fantastic ("Horatio Hornblower's" Ioan Gruffudd), the Invisible Woman ("Sin City's" Jessica Alba), the Human Torch ("Cellular's" Chris Evans) and the Thing ("The Shield's" Michael Chiklis) battle the dastardly Doctor Doom, alias "Nip/Tuck's" Julian McMahon. It's a friendlier, more down-to-earth tale than some of its predecessors, but director Tim Story ("Barbershop") never generates the kind of express-train urgency -- or sense of gee-whiz wonder -- that might lift "Fantastic Four" above pleasant popcorn-cruncher status. (110 min.) PG; intense action, mild sexual references. (C.C.)
FIGHTER PILOT
(B) Wild blue yonder: Nellis Air Force Base zooms into the giant-screen spotlight with this Imax documentary, now playing at the Luxor, focusing on Red Flag combat training exercises -- and Capt. John "Otter" Stratton, an F-15 Eagle pilot, who experiences Red Flag on the ground and in the air. The documentary's midair sequences (filmed with no special effects or re-creations) are almost sickeningly exhilarating, propelling viewers into aerial dogfights and mock bombing raids (bring a barf bag), but the on-the-ground portions seem staged, plodding and earthbound. (48 min.) NR; all ages.
FLIGHTPLAN
(C) Fear of flying: When the daughter of a newly widowed aeronautical engineer (Jodie Foster) disappears aboard a jumbo jet at 37,000 feet, the distraught mother battles to find her missing child -- and prove to the authorities on board (Peter Sarsgaard, Sean Bean) that she's not off her rocker -- in a creaky thriller that never really gets off the ground. Watching "Flightplan" is a lot like being a passenger on a seemingly endless flight -- long stretches of agonizing tedium, sporadically interrupted by minor routines (beverage cart! in-flight movie!) that seem exciting only because they're surrounded by crushing boredom. (93 min.) PG-13; violence, intense themes. (C.C.)
THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN
(B-) After his randy co-workers (Paul Rudd, Romany Malco, Seth Rogan) discover his undirty little secret, the sweetly nerdy title character (a hilariously inept Steve Carrell) becomes the object of their remedial romantic efforts -- until he falls for a divorc e (the charmingly quirky Catherine Keener) who may not only be Ms. Right, but Ms. Right Now. Despite some inspired sequences that hit new lows in gleeful vulgarity, this "Virgin" seems hopelessly off-balance, softening its frat-house sensibilities with starry-eyed, chick flick-worthy romance. But even with these flaws, you'll laugh. You may hate yourself for doing so, but you'll laugh just the same. (115 min.) R; pervasive sexual situations, profanity, drug use. (C.C.)
FOUR BROTHERS
(C+) John Wayne rides again -- sort of -- in this urban update of the 1965 Western "The Sons of Katie Elder," as four foster brothers from Detroit (Mark Wahlberg, Tyrese, Andr Benjamin and Garrett Hedlund) reunite for their adopted mother's funeral, then search for her killer. This back-to-the-'hood revenge drama from "Boys N the Hood" director John Singleton benefits from the camaraderie of the lead quartet and vivid supporting turns from "Hustle & Flow's" Terrence Howard and Chiwitel Ejiofor ("Melinda & Melinda"), who's electrifying as an gleefully malevolent gangster. But no matter how fast Singleton revs this Motor City engine, we've seen it all before. (102 min.) R; strong violence, pervasive profanity, sexual situations. (C.C.)
THE GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED
(B-) At the 1913 U.S. Open, working-class kid Francis Ouimet (Shia LaBeouf) challenges genteel British golf champion Harry Vardon (Stephen Dillane) in an inconsistent but endearing sports inspirational that yearns to be "Chariots of Fire" for golf. It's hardly the greatest golf movie ever made, but at least director Bill Paxton (yes, the same guy you've seen on screen in "Titanic," "Twister" and "Apollo 13"), who once caddied for links legend Ben Hogan, delivers an affectionate ode to sportsmanship. (115 min.) PG; brief profanity.
HAUNTED CASTLE
Now playing at the Luxor, this Imax 3-D attraction focuses on a fledgling rock star (Jasper Steverlinck) who inherits the creepy title structure from his rock legend mother (Kyoko Baertsoen) and discovers the power behind her successful musical career: the devil himself (voiced by "Spinal Tap" veteran Harry Shearer), who inhabits the title structure surrounded by oodles of smoke and mirrors, rattling suits of armor and shimmering holographic fiends. Part movie, part amusement park ride, "Haunted Castle" is more effective as the latter. (40 min.) PG; torture and scares too intense for very young children.
HERBIE: FULLY LOADED
(C+) Revved-up and tricked out, Disney's beloved, personality-plus VW Beetle returns with sassy Lindsay Lohan behind the wheel, racing from the junkyard to the NASCAR winner's circle in the "Love Bug's" fifth big-screen adventure. Summer is supposed to be a reprieve from Thinking Too Hard, which suits movies like this one, with a committee-written script whose transmission sticks and even sputters at various intervals. By the time the inevitable Big Race arrives, all you can wonder (literally) is how much more oil they can siphon. (95 min.) G; all ages.
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
(A-) When a small-town family guy (Viggo Mortensen) heroically vanquishes homicidal intruders, his shady past literally comes gunning for him in director David Cronenberg's quick-on-the-draw contemporary Western, which smoothly inverts, and subverts, our expectations, delivering sucker-punch impact with every sly, mind-bending twist. Maria Bello, Ed Harris and William Hurt round out the standout starring cast, but it's Cronenberg who's the real star, confirming his status as an utterly fearless filmmaker who's not afraid to hold the mirror up to nature -- or to show us just how ugly, and how compelling, staring that reflection in the face can be. (97 min.) R; violence, sexual situations, nudity, profanity, drug use. (C.C.)
INTO THE BLUE
(B-) Divers discover what they think is buried treasure, only to clash with criminals searching for the submerged cargo in this underwater thriller -- "The Deep" reimagined as an Abercrombie catalogue -- featuring the bronzed, bathing-suited bodies of Jessica Alba, Paul Walker, Scott Caan and Ashley Scott. Their abs are ripped, and so are their jeans. They're bronzed, they're bathing-suited, they're swimming in shallow waters. Just like the movie. It's eye candy with snorkels and fins -- pop, not profound. (110 min.) PG-13; intense action violence, drug references, sexual situations, profanity.
JUST LIKE HEAVEN
(B) Boy meets ghost: A depressed widower (rumpled, vulnerable Mark Ruffalo) discovers that he's got company in his new San Francisco apartment: the former occupant (a sprightly, wistful Reese Witherspoon), who seems to be suspended between this world and the next, in a spirited tale that blends slapstick comedy and storybook romance. Best of all, Witherspoon and Ruffalo prove to be a dream team; both have the deftness (and depth) to move the movie well beyond its gimmicky premise and into the imaginative realm of what-if. (95 min.) PG-13; sexual references.
LORD OF WAR
(C) An illegal arms dealer (Nicolas Cage, in gleefully scurvy form) with a lucrative talent for looking the other way globe-trots from Africa to Russia, trying to dodge the international agent (Ethan Hawke) on his trail. "Gattaca" writer-director Andrew Niccol's darkly comic drama operates with a smart mouth -- and, alas, a heavy hand. For all its intelligence, the film gradually sinks under the weight of its own sense of mission. (122 min.) R; strong violence, drug use, profanity, sexual situations.
MADAGASCAR
(C) It's a jungle out there, as four Central Park Zoo animals discover after they hear the call of the wild -- and escape for an on-the-town spree, only to wind up on a one-way voyage to Africa in an animated odyssey featuring the voices of (among others) Ben Stiller (alias Alex the Lion), Chris Rock (as zebra Marty), David Schwimmer (a giraffe named Melman) and Jada Pinkett Smith (as hippo Gloria). Some good bits, but the clattering momentum stalls about halfway through. (86 min.) PG; mild profanity, crude humor, thematic elements.
MAGNIFICENT DESOLATION
(B) Subtitled "Walking on the Moon 3D," this new Imax documentary -- co-produced, co-written and narrated by starry-eyed space boy Tom Hanks -- showcases the past, present and future of space exploration, retracing the steps of the 12 Apollo astronauts who have set foot on the lunar surface through dramatizations that may be a bit show-bizzy, but nevertheless provide the most realistic approximation of a moonwalk that earthbound mortals have ever seen. (40 min.) NR; all ages.
THE MAN
(C) A tough-talking federal agent (Samuel L. Jackson) finds himself saddled with an affable dental supply salesman (Eugene Levy) when a case of mistaken identity forces the two together for a sting operation. The formula that powers "The Man" is so rusty from overuse that you can practically hear it creaking and sputtering. Think vintage '80s odd-couple buddy thrillers from "48 Hrs." to "Midnight Run" with all those "Lethal Weapons" scattered in between. Come to think of it, why see "The Man" at all so long as all that other stuff remains in cable-channel rotation or at whatever home-video outlet is handiest? (84 min.) PG-13; profanity, sexual references, violence.
MARCH OF THE PENGUINS
(B+) Chill out with this surprising summer delight, a quietly touching, utterly refreshing National Geographic documentary that follows Antarctica's emperor penguins, who make epic treks across the ice to find mates and conceive, hatch and care for their vulnerable offspring. The cameras capture the penguins' whimsical, waddling clowning -- and their graceful nobility -- while the warmth of Morgan Freeman's once-upon-a-time narration gives the sometimes hackneyed narration a dignity and wisdom it might otherwise lack. (80 min.) G; all ages. (C.C.)
MR. AND MRS. SMITH
(D) The couple that slays together stays together: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fail to display much tabloid-fodder chemistry as a suburban couple whose seemingly lifeless marriage perks up after they discover each other's secret identities: professional assassins who find themselves in the uncomfortable position of having to eliminate each other. Not even dependably clever director Doug Liman ("The Bourne Identity") can avoid a terminal case of blockbuster bombast. This movie's so light-headed it faints dead away at regular intervals -- and even when it's conscious, there's nothing on its mind, because it doesn't have one. (123 min.) PG-13; violence, sexual situations, profanity. (C.C.)
MYSTERY OF THE NILE
(B+) This giant-screen Imax documentary, now playing (very appropriately) at the Luxor, chronicles the first-ever descent of the Blue Nile from the source the sea, a 3,250-mile, 114-day odyssey that crosses Ethiopia, Sudan and Egypt -- and brings the team of explorers face-to-face with rapids, crocodiles, bandits, malaria, sandstorms and the fierce desert sun. Whatever style points the production loses for its unoriginal title and conventional story, the movie itself is most striking, taking us places we've never been before. (47 min.) NR; all ages.
OLIVER TWIST
(B-) Oscar-winner Roman Polanski, who survived a Dickensian childhood in World War II Poland, reunites with his Oscar-winning "Pianist" colleague, screenwriter Ronald Harwood, for a tastefully restrained adaptation of Charles Dickens' oft-filmed classic about an orphaned waif (Barney Clark) at the mercy of malevolent forces in 19th-century England, who becomes a pickpocket working for the fiendish Fagin (Ben Kingsley, in human-gargoyle mode). Hardly the definitive version -- David Lean's brilliant 1948 version remains the champ -- but if you've never seen "Oliver Twis," on screen, this is a worthy, if surprisingly bloodless, introduction. (130 min.) PG-13; violence, disturbing images.
RED EYE
(B-) Slasher expert Wes Craven ("Scream"), shifting gears to offer more subdued suspense, flies the unfriendly skies as an unsuspecting passenger who hates air travel ("Wedding Crashers' " winning Rachel McAdams) finds herself a pawn in a murder plot -- hatched by her sinister seatmate (Cillian Murphy, alias "Batman Begins' " Scarecrow) aboard a Miami-bound jetliner. Giddily entertaining, this is the kind of nifty thriller that, despite its preposterousness, rouses the audience to a collective grin. (86 min.) PG-13; intense violent sequences, profanity.
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
(B+) The antici...pation is over! Time to do the Time Warp again -- midnight Saturday at the Tropicana Cinemas -- with the outrageously clever 1975 horror movie spoof, which details the gender-bending shocks awaiting sweet and innocent Brad and Janet (future Tony-winner Barry Bostwick and future Oscar-winner Susan Sarandon) after they stumble into the strange old house inhabited by sweet transvestite Dr. Frank N. Furter (Tim Curry) and his freaky friends from the transsexual planet of Transylvania. (100 min.) R; profanity, sexual situations. (C.C.)
ROLL BOUNCE
(B-) At the height of the roller disco craze, during the summer of '78, a skate whiz (Bow Wow) and his South Side Chicago pals find themselves invading foreign territory -- a swanky North Side rink -- when their neighborhood hangout closes its doors. This nostalgic coming-of-age comedy (featuring Nick Cannon, Chi McBride, Wesley Jonathan, Wayne Brady and Mike Epps) may be scruffy, but its characters are appealing, it conveys a warm sense of community and the soundtrack of old-school soul and disco could not be more infectious. Plus, the skating is sexy, athletic and thrilling. (107 min.) PG-13; profanity, crude humor.
SERENITY
(B) Back in the saddle again: Picking up where his short-lived series "Firefly" left off, TV's Joss Whedon ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer") makes his big-screen directorial debut with this somewhat bloated but still kicky mix of space-movie mayhem and cowboy-movie corn, about a posse of space cowboys (Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, Alan Tudyk, Adam Baldwin) caught between warring galactic forces. This amphetamine-fueled reprise is designed to give fans of the TV series a sentimental jolt, but also wants to corral a rowdy slew of new fans. Mission accomplished. (119 min.) PG-13; intense action violence, sexual references.
SHARKS 3D
(B+) If Mandalay Bay's Shark Reef isn't a close enough encounter for you, this giant-screen, 3-D Imax documentary -- now playing at the Luxor -- brings audiences face-to-face with a multitude of the world's endangered shark species, including the great white and the hammerhead, swimming in waters from Mexico's Sea of Cortez to Egypt's Red Sea. The 3-D effects bring you so convincingly into the undersea world, you can almost pick out each grain of sand and each pebble on the ocean floor. As for the sharks, this documentary suggests that they have more to fear from us than we do from them. (41 min.) NR; all ages.
SKY HIGH
(C) Houston, we do not have liftoff. It may sound like a live-action "Incredibles" -- if only it were -- but this gimmicky family comedy focuses on Mr.-and-Mrs. superheroes (Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston) whose son ("Lords of Dogtown's" Michael Angarano) seems to be having trouble connecting with his inner crimefighter -- while attempting to adjust to the horrors of high school. Despite a promising premise and amusing supporting turns (especially from "Evil Dead's" Bruce Campbell and "Kids in the Hall" alums Dave Foley and Kevin McDonald), "Sky High" plays like a throwback to those family-friendly Disney romps that launched Russell's big-screen career so long ago. (99 min.) PG; action violence, mild profanity. (C.C.)
STAR WARS: EPISODE III -- REVENGE OF THE SITH
(A) An irresistible Force? Seeing's believing in this imaginative triumph, which restores George Lucas' sometimes maligned saga to its rightful place in the cinematic galaxy -- and also restores the awestruck sense of wonder that makes visiting that long-ago galaxy far, far away such a literal (and figurative) blast. Forces from without (and within) threaten the survival of the embattled Republic, while headstrong young Jedi Anakin Skywalker (a tormented Hayden Christensen) finds himself drawn to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (gleefully malevolent Ian McDiarmid) -- and the dark side of the Force, which will be with us always. After seeing the stunning "Sith," you'll once again remember why. (140 min.) PG-13; sci-fi violence, intense images. (C.C.)
STEALTH
(C) "Top Gun" meets "2001" in this hyped-up hybrid from "The Fast and the Furious" director Rob Cohen, about a a computerized fighter jet that goes renegade -- and takes aim at the elite Navy pilots (Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel and "Ray" Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx) on its wing. Between the slice-and-dice plot moves, the thuddingly banal dialogue and the ham-fisted attempts to add dramatic heft with its obvious technology-run-amok theme, "Stealth" does only one thing well: blow up stuff real good. Only on that level does it soar more often than it crashes and burns. (121 min.) PG-13; action, violence, brief profanity, sexual references. (C.C.)
THE TRANSPORTER 2
(C-) Faster than a speeding jet ski! More powerful than a hidden motive! Cheesier than a Camembert factory! Ex-Special Forces operative Frank Martin (dry, mentholated Jason Statham) delivers once again, zooming back into action when the 6-year-old son of his wealthy employers is abducted in this sequel to the 2002 action hit, which also features Matthew Modine, Amber Valletta ("Hitch"), Jason Flemyng (Statham's castmate in "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels") and Alessandro Gassman (son of Italy's legendary Vittorio Gassman). It's late-summer clearance time, so tell your mind to stay at home and watch the Cartoon Network if it wants more intelligent plotting than this movie offers. (88 min.) PG-13; intense violence, sexual situation, partial nudity, brief profanity.
UNDERCLASSMAN
(D) Beverly Hills Cop Jr.: A brash young L.A. police officer ("Drumline's" Nick Cannon) goes undercover as an underclassman at an elite private school, tracking the culprit behind a student's murder, in a gasping-for-air fish-out-of-water comedy. Like a Jackie Chan movie without Jackie Chan, "Underclassman" goes through all the motions: car chases, foot chases, Jet Ski races, speeding motorboats striking oil derricks, gas explosions, aerial stunts, fistfights, gunfights, muggings, thuggings and basketball games. Too bad nobody involved bothered to put his brain in gear. (95 min.) PG-13; violence, sexual and drug references, teen drinking.
AN UNFINISHED LIFE
(C+) Lasse comes home: the increasingly sentimental director Lasse Hallstrom ("Chocolat," "The Cider House Rules") strikes (all the clich s) again with this tale of an embittered Wyoming rancher (a grizzled, iconic Robert Redford) forced to take in his daughter-in-law (Jennifer Lopez), who's on the run from an abusive boyfriend, accompanied by the granddaughter (Becca Gardner) the rancher never knew he had. The script may be predictable, but the actors -- including Morgan Freeman, cast once again as a faithful sage -- elevate the proceedings above and beyond the level of shameless soap. (100 min.) PG-13; violence (including domestic abuse), profanity.
VALIANT
(C+) For the birds? On a wing and a prayer, a flying World War II squadron -- of homing pigeons -- battles Nazi falcons in a cute computer-animated British adventure featuring the voices of Ewan McGregor (who also handled voice-over duties in "Robots"), John Cleese, Jim Broadbent, Tim Curry, John Hurt (currently on-screen in "Skeleton Key"), "House's" Hugh Laurie, and Ricky Gervais of BBC's original "The Office." Pretty much by-the-numbers stuff, except for keen vocal work from the off-camera stars, though the cast's droll inflections can only do so much for a nondescript script. (80 min.) G; all ages.
VENOM
(D) This one really bites, as Louisiana teens (Agnes Bruckner, Jonathan Jackson, Rick Cramer, Bijou Phillips) investigate a friend's mysterious death -- and run for their lives when they encounter an eerie voodoo force in the bayou. Despite the promising notion of a tow-truck-driving zombie, this insipid teens-in-peril workout gives new meaning to the term "toothless" -- not to mention "brainless." (85 min.) R; strong horror violence and gore, profanity.
WAR OF THE WORLDS
(B) Taking a break from kinder, gentler extra-terrestrials ("E.T.," "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"), director Steven Spielberg revisits the original alien chiller, H.G. Wells' 1898 novel about a Martian invasion and reteams with his "Minority Report" star, Tom Cruise, for an urgent, pungent and anxious odyssey that viscerally suggests 9/11, Judgment Day, earthquake, tsunami, bio-terror, gas chambers, world war and space invasion. It's "Jurassic Park" and "Titanic" squared, with a soup?on of "Sophie's Choice." In other words, "War of the Worlds" is serious popcorn -- and seriously good. (116 min.) PG-13; frightening sequences of sci-fi violence, disturbing images.
WEDDING CRASHERS
(B) Marry pranksters Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn play divorce mediators who crash weddings to hook up with hormonally hyped single women -- until they encounter the daughters ("The Notebook's" winsome Rachel McAdams and "Scooby-Doo's" wacky Isla Fisher) of the formidable U.S. Treasury Secretary (an underused Christopher Walken) -- in a raunchy romp that will have you laughing your head off. (Or, more accurately, another part of your anatomy.) Until it succumbs to a near-fatal case of chick-flick wish fulfillment in the final third, "Wedding Crashers" celebrates good, dirty fun more gleefully than any other movie this summer. (113 min.) R; sexual situations, nudity, profanity, slapstick violence. (C.C.)
WILD SAFARI 3D: A SOUTH AFRICAN ADVENTURE
(B-) Where the wild things are: South Africa's "big five" -- the elephant, the Cape buffalo, the rhino, the leopard and the lion -- get their extreme close-ups in a giant-format adventure now playing at the Luxor's Imax theater. The film, sponsored by South Africa's tourism bureau, employs high-tech cameras to present the beasts' predatory powers, but in their dwindling habitats, the animals more often seem like cornered beasts than kings of the jungle. (45 min.) NR; all ages.
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