LIFE ON THE COUCH:
Christmas comes early in television land
From left, Eddie Griffin, John Goodman, Delta Burke, Ethan Suplee and Chris Kattan star in NBC's "The Year Without a Santa Claus."
The holidays are here, and I probably should say something glib, ironic, snarky or even post-ironic. But I won't.
I'm too tired.
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There's a new addition to Casa de Couch, and she's keeping me up most of the night. She's the light of my life, and I haven't been able to take my eyes off her, even when she's asleep. They say you never appreciate the joy they bring to other people's lives until you have one of your own, but I had no idea. She's my little 69-pound, 42-inch bundle of hi-def plasma joy, and she completes me.
Besides, you only want to know three things about this season's holiday offerings: What's new this year? How many times will "It's a Wonderful Life" be on? And is TBS doing its traditional "A Christmas Story" marathon?
Not much, twice, and you bet your official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle.
Here's a look at some of what's in store, and, as always, times and dates are subject to change:
NEW THIS YEAR
The animated "Holidaze: The Christmas That Almost Wasn't" (8 p.m. Saturday, KTNV-TV, Channel 13) features Fred Savage as the voice of Rusty Reindeer, who leaves the North Pole for the big city. While there, he befriends other holiday icons, including the Easter Bunny, voiced by Gladys Knight.
"Santa Baby" (8 and 10 p.m. Sunday, 8 p.m. Dec. 12, and 2 p.m. Dec. 16, ABC Family) tells the story of Santa's estranged daughter, played by Jenny McCarthy (!), who returns to the North Pole to fill in for her ill father.
John Goodman, Chris Kattan, Harvey Fierstein and "My Name Is Earl's" Ethan Suplee star in the live-action version of "The Year Without a Santa Claus" (9 p.m. Dec. 11, KVBC-TV, Channel 3).
It's "Groundhog Day" meets Christmas Day as Jay Mohr plays a man forced to relive a terrible holiday with his family until he gets it right in "Christmas Do-Over" (8 and 10 p.m. Dec. 16, 8 p.m. Dec. 20, and 11 a.m. Dec. 23, ABC Family).
And "A Perfect Day" (8 p.m., 10 p.m. and midnight Dec. 18, 10 p.m. and midnight Dec. 20, and 11:15 p.m. Dec. 22, TNT) stars Rob Lowe as a popular author who has to be reminded of the importance of friends and family.
SPECIALS
I'm not sure "The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show" (10 p.m. Tuesday, KLAS-TV, Channel 8) really qualifies as holiday programming. But who am I to argue with a bunch of supermodels in their underwear?
Speaking of underwear, Janice Dickinson, the self-proclaimed "world's first supermodel," celebrates the holidays in "Christmas with the Dickinsons (10 p.m. Dec. 13, Oxygen).
"Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special," which features guest appearances from the likes of Magic Johnson, Grace Jones, k.d. lang, Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg, is airing for the first time since its 1988 debut (10:30 p.m. Dec. 14 and 1 a.m. Dec. 24, Cartoon Network).
And "The 8th Annual A Home for the Holidays" will feature performances by Rod Stewart, Five For Fighting, John Legend and "American Idol" runner-up Katherine McPhee (8 p.m. Dec. 22, Channel 8).
ANIMATION
TV's longest-running holiday special, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer," returns Friday (8 p.m., Channel 8), followed by "Frosty the Snowman" (9 p.m.) and "Frosty Returns" (9:30 p.m.).
Other animated favorites include:
• "The Year Without a Santa Claus" (8 p.m. today, 5 p.m. Saturday, 7 p.m. Dec. 15, and 7 p.m. Dec. 20, ABC Family).
• "Twas the Night Before Christmas" (7 p.m. Tuesday, 3 p.m. Saturday, and 7:30 p.m. Dec. 24, ABC Family).
• "I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown!" (8 p.m. Dec. 19, Channel 13).
MOVIES
Neither one is the caliber of an "It's a Wonderful Life" or a "Christmas Story," but that's not keeping "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and "The Polar Express" from trying to burrow into people's traditions.
This year, you'll have six opportunities to catch "Christmas Vacation" (8 and 10 p.m. Dec. 17, 10 p.m. Dec. 21, 10 a.m. Dec. 22, 10:30 p.m. Dec. 23, and 12:30 p.m. Dec. 24, TBS) and "The Polar Express" (8 p.m. Friday, 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday, 8 and 10:30 p.m. Dec. 14, and 8 p.m. Dec. 25, ABC Family).
Other film favorites include:
• "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (9 p.m. Saturday, Channel 13; 5:30 and 8 p.m. Dec. 17, and 8 p.m. Dec. 21, ABC Family).
