Brittney Bergeron, the girl who took 20 stab wounds to shield her baby sister from a murderous assault, still loves the mother who left her daughters alone and vulnerable in a Mesquite trailer that night.

Preying on a daughter's love for her mother, her attackers enticed Brittney to open the door by saying her mom was hurt.

It worked.

Brittney opened the door to Beau and Monique Maestas, then 18 and 16. Seeking revenge for a drug sale gone bad, they viciously slashed 10-year-old Brittney and her 3-year-old sister, Kristyanna Cowan. Brittney was paralyzed from the waist down, and her sister was killed. Their mother, Tamara Schmidt, is serving a 12-year sentence for child neglect.

Brittney repeatedly has asked Family Judge Gerald Hardcastle to let her be adopted by Judy and Bill Himel, who have been her foster parents since shortly after the deadly assault Jan. 22, 2003. The judge repeatedly has ruled against terminating Schmidt's parental rights.

Delivered in a letter to Hardcastle during a status-check hearing Wednesday, here in her own words is her latest plea:

"Dear Judge

"I'm doing great but every time I have a phone call with my mom I have a bad day. I have a ton of spasums and sometimes bad dreams. I love my mom but I don't trust her when she tells me something because she lied to me my hole life. And Im not going to let her do it to me anymore. I know you say that she's changed and doesn't do that anymore but would you believe someone who lie to you all your life and the expects you to trust them? I will always love her but it doesn't mean I can trust her. Oh yeah before I'm done I don't want to go home but I do want to be adopted. I also don't want to see my mom in jail because it brings back bad memories and what happened to me. One more thing. I want my stuff! PS All my stuff.

"Always Brittney"

There is a big heart over "Always."

"My stuff" is a reference to her things now being kept at the home of Schmidt's mother-in-law. Her stuff wasn't discussed during the hearing.

Brittney has therapy after every phone call with her mom, said Kim Coats, the girl's court-appointed special advocate. They have to threaten her to get her to write her mom.

Unless they can adopt her, the Himels will have to abide by the rules that county officials have for foster parents. Now 14, Brittney wants to have sleepovers at girlfriends' homes, like other girls do. But children in foster care aren't allowed to do that, unless the host family goes through a background check by authorities.

The law is designed to protect the children, but for Brittney it's just another example of why she wants to be adopted: so that her foster parents can make decisions about her without jumping through legal hoops.

Hardcastle resolved the sleepover problem swiftly, saying that in this one case, he would waive the need for a background check for a sleepover and leave it to Judy Himel's judgment.

Meanwhile, the nightmarish attack that Brittney went through is about to be resurrected again. Beau Maestas has pleaded guilty and will be sentenced Aug. 14. His sister, Monique Maestas, goes to trial Aug. 21.

Coats has urged Schmidt to consider an open adoption, allowing the Himels to adopt her but also giving Schmidt contact with her daughter.

Schmidt's attorney, Steve Caruso, said after the hearing that she rejected an open adoption because she doesn't trust the foster family to give her access, such as phone calls and letters, without the court orders.

Schmidt attended the hearing in shackles and wept as she told the judge, "My number one concern is my daughter."

It just doesn't ring true. For whatever selfish reason, it's more important to her to have court orders forcing her daughter to have contact with her than it is to stand aside and let her daughter lead as normal a life as possible and voluntarily contact her mother.

Having therapy after every call from your mom, having to go to court for everyday decisions, having your possessions taken away. Since when do we punish the victims?

Jane Ann Morrison's column appears Monday, Thursday and Saturday. E-mail her at Jane@reviewjournal.com or call 383-0275.