A chimp named Mikey looks at his chips as poker pro Marcel Luske looks on Thursday during a news conference at the Palms. Photo by John Gurzinski.
With little more grace than a Phil Hellmuth tantrum or a Mike Matusow blowup, Mikey slammed his fists down on the poker table at the Palms and violently shook his head.
He then grabbed some poker chips and proceeded to put them in his mouth, spilling them all over the floor.
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Poker pro Marcel Luske stared, stone-faced. He later would say, "I don't think they will allow him in the tournament."
Luske was right. The stunt to get a poker Web site free publicity and Mikey, a 4-year-old chimpanzee, a spot in the upcoming World Series of Poker ended with the primate being denied registration Thursday.
"He will not be registered, nor will he play," said Gary Thompson, spokesman for the World Series of Poker. "We are not letting any chimpanzees in. It would be cruel to the chimpanzee and unfair to our players."
Pokershare.net was ready to contribute the entry fee, $10,000, for Mikey to play in the main event. Mikey was taught how to play Texas Hold 'em by his owner, Judie Harrison, who said she would use any money won by Mikey to build a retirement sanctuary for the chimpanzee.
Mikey has been trained to recognize colors and shapes and wear a green poker visor and sunglasses. But the Humane Society of the United States and the Jane Goodall Institute condemned the idea.
In a joint statement, the two groups said they opposed the use of chimpanzees for entertainment purposes: "Many don't realize that young chimpanzees they see as performers on television and in movies were separated from their mothers as infants. In the wild, young chimpanzees are with their mothers virtually nonstop for years. Chimpanzees are wild animals who belong in the wild, not in our homes or casinos."
Harrison likened herself to teacher and mother: "I'm his mom. I'm everything."
During the news conference, held in the Real World suite at the Palms, Harrison certainly acted like Mikey's mom.
"Sit down and behave," she repeatedly ordered the primate. "Get your foot off the table; it's not polite. Show everyone your tongue."
When Luske suggested bananas might be used to distract Mikey at the poker table, Harrison said, "You know, he doesn't really care for bananas too much. He would much prefer grapes."
Harrison said she was unaware that the Jane Goodall Institute, considered the leading institution studying and advocating for chimpanzees, had spoken out against Mikey being used to promote a poker Web site. "Jane Goodall has her comments and her own ideas. And I have mine."
Harrison, who is not affiliated with a university or other institution, added that she is doing her own study and is writing a book.
"I didn't get Mikey to work him in the entertainment business. I actually got him to study him as far as cognitive skills between nonhuman and human primates, and because they are so expensive to raise, I have been forced to work him in the entertainment business," Harrison said.
Mikey has appeared in the recent movie "The Manchurian Candidate," on Spike TV commercials and on The Black Eyed Peas' latest CD cover.
The idea behind the stunt was to give Mikey a chance to play in the World Series of Poker's main event, perhaps sitting beside such talents as Matusow and Hellmuth. Were he to cash, Harrison said, she would like to build a special retirement sanctuary for him and his brother at her home in Maryland.
Chimpanzees after a certain age, about 7 years old, no longer can be around humans, according to Harrison.
"As chimpanzees grow up, they become very strong and cannot be safely handled," agreed the Humane Society and Goodall Institute. "They can and will bite. In addition, chimpanzees can carry diseases that can be transmitted to humans, and vice versa.
"We understand the fascination with these intelligent animals, but their intelligence is all the more reason to protect them in their natural environment and keep them out of entertainment and the pet trade."
Chimpanzees are human beings' closest relative in the animal kingdom, with about 1 percent difference in DNA structure. They often are used for medical research because of those similarities.
When asked whether Mikey could survive the grueling hours of the event, which has been known to run for more than 15 hours a day, Harrison replied, "He can play just as much as everyone else, as long as he gets food and drinks."
But any notion that Mikey might have held his own, even briefly, against some of the world's best poker players quickly was dashed Thursday. When it came time for him to ante up at the poker table against Luske, he failed.
He would look at his cards. And then, when Harrison would urge him to "push" his chips in, he simply picked them up. Occasionally, to Harrison's dismay and the chagrin of assembled media, he would try to eat the chips.
Luske at one point said: "I don't think I can get a read on him."
Harrison said he doesn't have a strategy. "He just looks at the cards and ... if he has something, he just pushes."
At first, members of the media thought the reason Mikey wasn't betting his chips was because he didn't like his hands. He was dealt queen-three off suit and king-seven off suit, junk in most situations. But when the deck was stacked so that Mikey would be given two aces, he still failed to cooperate with Harrison's commands to "push" his chips in.
Harrison said that the cameras distracted Mikey and that he had been awake since 4 a.m. The news conference was at 2 p.m.
