Mike Sanford would have been a good fit for that expedition back in 1844, a member of the John C. Fremont party of 25 or so that arrived at a certain lake northeast of Reno. Imagine the dialogue ...

Fremont: "Doesn't this look like the Great Pyramid of Cheops?"

Sanford: "Awesome."

Kit Carson: "What are you thinking, Captain?"

Fremont: "I'm thinking we name this place Pyramid Lake and add it to the map. You know what I've always said, K.C., that the soil of this country is excellent, admirably adapted to agricultural purposes, and would support a large population."

Sanford: "Awesome."

Fremont: "Who has the cannon?"

Carson: "Last I saw, this guy standing next to us in the red coat was trying to wrestle it from that disturbed fellow over there named Ault, the one who keeps asking us to paint his face blue."

Fremont: "Leave them both here. We're low on provisions as it is, and something tells me they'd rather fight over that old howitzer than reach Sutter's Fort."

Sanford: "Awesome."

It must be rivalry time for UNLV football because the Rebels' second-year coach is using his favorite adjective to describe everything from lunch to the Mountain West Conference's new television package, although we're guessing the latter is more his way of prodding us with a bit of humor given the CSTV/mtn./Comcast/Versus/everyone-but-the-provider-you-get deal to this point ranks as the biggest bust in television history since "Cop Rock."

"It's a special game for us, one that has its own significance," said Sanford of tonight's meeting with UNR. "I knew it was important (last year) but didn't understand how huge it was. Every game is important, but this one is very important."

Rivalries fuel college football like a Fox news reporter agitates Bill Clinton. They are like that bottle of red you tucked away in the cellar for years, the one made from a Sangiovese vine, the one that became more lively and electric over time.

You won't find UNLV-UNR on a list of the sport's greatest rivalries, existing miles and miles from a township that includes Ohio State-Michigan and Southern Cal-Notre Dame and Army-Navy and Auburn-Alabama and Texas-Oklahoma and Stanford-Cal and even Harvard-Yale. But what it lacks in national recognition, UNLV-UNR makes up for in abhorrence.

Which means it owns the one element necessary to deem a rivalry entertaining: They pretty much despise one another.

"This is my third game against them and it's more intense each time," said Rebels junior linebacker Beau Bell. "I don't know how they feel up there, but I know how we feel. This is a must-win game for us. This is big. We're playing for respect in the state and the cannon. There's going to be a little bit of talking."

Rivalries develop from various components, but many of the best ones have specific ingredients that bind schools. It's no different here.

Tradition: How much more history do you need than the only two Division I-A programs in a state and one (UNLV) having named itself the Rebels merely to emerge from the shadow of the other?

Competition: A rivalry suffers when one program suddenly rises to a dominating level, which isn't the case. UNLV might boast of five wins in the past six meetings, but UNR leads the series, 16-15.

Proximity: The distance is a boring, no-food-or-gas-seemingly-anywhere (awesome) 450-mile drive.

Coaches: They are often the most amusing sorts when it comes to a rivalry, and neither Sanford nor Chris Ault have disappointed by falling into that preposterously dull role of flattering the opponent as if it were the '85 Bears and '72 Dolphins and '62 Packers rolled into one. You know, the way Lou Holtz might have described Las Vegas High.

Sanford didn't waste time adding his own twist last year by referring to UNR as the "team up north." He says the decision not to call UNR by its name has nothing to do with the Wolf Pack -- "I don't really care about them," Sanford offered this week -- but more about creating a different atmosphere for his team leading into the game.

Ault, meanwhile, can stir a pot big enough to hold the offensive lines of both teams. If you had strolled past the UNLV football offices this week (or just gone for a ride in the building's elevator), you would have seen quotes from the UNR coach taped to the walls.

Example: "You've got to be strong enough (to carry a cannon through the airport). That's why we lift weights. The reaction to the cannon and having it painted silver and blue was extremely gratifying to me because (the players) were excited. That's a big difference between our program and UNLV."

There is nothing like a good college football rivalry.

One might describe it as awesome.

Ed Graney's column is published Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. He can be reached at 383-4618 or egraney@reviewjournal.com.