Courteney Cox is the biggest name on the FX drama "Dirt," but the series spends more time with a paparazzo played by Ian Hart, left.

Now that Christmas has come and gone -- and for the 16th year in a row there was no Tiffani-Amber Thiessen under my tree -- it's time for TV characters to stop being nice and go back to being naughty.

And they don't come much naughtier than those caught up in the drug- and sex-fueled tabloid antics of "Dirt" (10 p.m. Tuesday, FX) or the hapless, blue-collar thievery of "The Knights of Prosperity" (9 p.m. Wednesday, KTNV-TV, Channel 13).

For months, Courteney Cox has been relentlessly promoted as the face of "Dirt," but the drama is really more of an ensemble piece.

And it's saying something when the tweaked-out paparazzo who has an all-you-can-eat pharmaceutical buffet, carries on conversations with the voices in his head, and sees his words fly out of his mouth before they turn into a worm and crawl away isn't the most schizophrenic thing about the series.

"Dirt" is part indictment of tabloid journalism, part portrait of the devastating effects of mental illness, part look at drug-addled young Hollywood, and part excuse to see former pro hoops star Rick Fox violated with a sex toy.

The drama's being billed as the story of Lucy Spiller (Cox), the bitchy queen of Hollywood sleaze. She's the editor of both the fluffy Now and the trashy rag alternately spelled Dirt and Drrt -- sample story: dozens of candid celebrity butt shots with the Lucy-penned headline "Dis-ASS-ter!!!" -- which lets her barter puff pieces in the former for scandalicious scoop in the latter.

But the series actually spends more time with the paparazzo, Don Konkey (Ian Hart), who comes off like "West Wing" co-star Richard Schiff's creepy uncle. Good choice, because while Konkey can be a chore to watch -- he's all tics, twitches and shaky stammers when he's off his meds -- he's the most original thing here.

Cox's Lucy also gets pushed aside from time to time by the show's strung-out Tinseltown lovebirds: struggling B-list actor Holt McLaren (Josh Stewart) and A-list movie and TV star Julia Mallory (Lauren Allen).

But the series still revolves around Lucy, the woman everyone in show biz loves to hate. And while she warms up a little in later episodes, she still uses a stun gun on a one-night stand's naughty bits to make him leave, and her most meaningful relationship is with a sex toy. (Not the one from the Rick Fox bit; that'd just be wrong.)

Compared to other FX dramas, "Dirt" never reaches the adrenaline rush of "The Shield" or the anything-can-happen thrills of "Rescue Me" and early episodes of "Nip/Tuck." But it's as dark and weird as any of those, and as a post-"Friends" follow-up, it beats the pants off "Joey" and whatever David Schwimmer's been up to.

Speaking of second chances, the profits from NBC's quirkily endearing "Ed" wouldn't have covered the hairstylists' bills from "Friends." But its creators, Rob Burnett and Jon Beckerman, are back with the aggressively offbeat "The Knights of Prosperity."

While watching TV and drinking from a flask in his bathtub, which is in the kitchen of an apartment so run-down it'd take a major renovation just to get it up to squalor, janitor Eugene Gurkin (Donal Logue) sees an E! profile of Mick Jagger and his $52 million apartment.

Like other life-altering ideas that come to people in bathtubs -- Archimedes' Principle and, if I'm not mistaken, the Hot Pocket -- Eugene decides the only way he can better himself is by robbing Jagger.

And after enlisting Squatch (Lenny Venito), a fellow janitor; Rockefeller (Kevin Michael Richardson), a security guard with "gigantic black guy superstrength"; Esperanza (Sofia Vergara), a ridiculously hot waitress; Gourishankar (Maz Jobrani), a lawyer-turned-taxi driver; and Louis (Josh Grisetti), the group's nerdy intern, the criminal organization The Knights of Prosperity is born. (Yes, it's a terrible name. But it beat out the group's other suggestions: Queens Mafia, the Jedi Council and Batman.)

Soon, their increasingly elaborate plan begins coming together like lowbrow "Ocean's Eleven," or, as Rockefeller puts it, "more like 'Ocean's Idiots.' "

"Prosperity's" Wednesday premiere is a must-see if only for the over-the-top Jagger cameo. And the comedy's worth coming back to just to watch it veer from goofy to uproarious like it's been in the paparazzo's medicine cabinet.

It's no Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, but it'll still look good under that highly flammable, dead-for-a-week bundle of kindling you're still stubbornly calling a tree.

Seriously. It's New Year's. It's time to let go.

NBC goes all in: "Poker After Dark" -- a nightly hourlong competition originating from various Strip casinos and featuring six poker pros competing for a $120,000 weekly prize -- debuts Tuesday (2:05 a.m., KVBC-TV, Channel 3).

All-star challenge: The filmed-in-Vegas "The Surreal Life: Fame Games" debuts Sunday (9 p.m., VH1).

Geek chic: Former Las Vegan Jennylee Berns is among the "beauties" on the third season of Ashton Kutcher's "Beauty and the Geek" (8 p.m. Wednesday, KVCW-TV, Channel 33).

Christopher Lawrence's Life on the Couch column appears on Mondays. E-mail him at clawrence@reviewjournal.com.