Q: Are you for or against religion? I see that you are a pastoral counselor, yet your columns often seem critical of religion. -- L.T., Las Vegas

A: For. Absolutely passionate about it. Which is why I am so often critical of it. Because it matters so much to me.

Distorted religion -- or religion in the hands of distorted personalities -- is perhaps the most dangerous and violent force in the universe. It can ruin individual lives, and provides the impetus for such human phenomena as child abuse, economic injustice and genocide.

You'd better believe I'm critical.

I've said before that Sigmund Freud, the presumed great atheist, might have made the original "Freudian slip" when he called his new academic investigation "psychology," the study of the soul. Didn't know atheists believed in souls, Siggy.

But competent psychology and competent religion have at least one goal in common: the hope of human wholeness. In the Christian Gospels, for example, you'll frequently find the word "salvation." It derives from a Greek root sadzo, the same root giving rise to words such as holy, healthy, whole, authentic. Whatever else Christians mean by "being saved," it seems to me that a salvific event is an event that opens the door to authentic human wholeness.

But, since Freud, religion and psychology have each been nemesis to the other's hubris. If you've written me to say that you think you notice me enjoying the role of nemesis, then you have me dead to rights. I admit to being very reactive to emotional dishonesty, to the disguising of self-serving or even malicious motives as piety or value. And when I think an individual or an institution is conscripting the rights and liberties of others just so they can continue the luxury of dodging self-examination, well, I'm usually going to want to talk about it. Out loud.

But don't you see that I do that precisely because of my love for true religion, its beauty and values?

Carl Jung agreed with Freud that the instincts for sex and violence are real. But he diverged from Freud when he said that the fundamental instinct inside the human being was the "religious instinct." By that he meant the innate yearning to reach beyond the mere self toward a greater wholeness. I agree with Jung. Everyone has this yearning.

Even destructive behavior often reveals some desire for human transcendence. Take alcoholism, for example. It's no accident they call that stuff "spirits." Drinking is a kind of distorted spirituality. M. Scott Peck, famous for "The Road Less Traveled," came to postulate that addicts were deeply spiritual people whose spirituality had been distorted into compulsive behavior.

Religion is a Latin word: religare. It means "to bind together." Healthy religion provides the narratives, symbols and ceremonies binding together meaning, values and relationships. Healthy religion provides a dynamic context in which people can be born, develop, become and die in the hope of a growing wholeness and authenticity.

What follows is a short list of my prejudices about what distinguishes healthy and unhealthy religion:

* Healthy religion recognizes the developmental stages of a maturing spirituality, and encourages the movement through those stages. Unhealthy religion impedes that development, and shames or vilifies those who attempt to move from one stage to the next.

* Healthy religion is not threatened by passion, be that creative passion, artistic passion, sexual passion or celebration. Unhealthy religion is afraid of such things, and moves subtly or aggressively to constrain, punish or ostracize passionate people.

* Healthy religion is not anti-intellectual. Unhealthy religion is afraid of certain questions.

* Healthy religion values truth more than it values being right.

* Healthy religion respects and values both male and female. Unhealthy religion tends to be marked by the oppressive masculine or the critical, shaming feminine.

* The goal of healthy religion is wholeness, and the freedom wholeness invites. The goal of unhealthy religion -- regardless of what they say -- is control and conformity. Its favorite strategy to this end is constantly cultivating in you ambivalence, doubts or even hatred for the self.

* Unhealthy religion is a bully. And if I sound a little grouchy sometimes about religion, it's because I hate bullies.

Steven Kalas is a behavioral health consultant and counselor at Clear View Counseling and Wellness Center in Las Vegas. His columns appear on Tuesdays and Sundays. Questions for the Asking Human Matters column or comments can be e-mailed to skalas@reviewjournal.com.