Photo illustration by K.M. Cannon. Las Vegans have been waiting and waiting and waiting for the completion of road work on U.S. 95. Will it ever be completed? Paris Hilton gets paid to endorse nightclubs.

Las Vegas is a town predicated upon the creation of pretend identities. And we're not just talking about the themes of Strip hotels.

There's a unique language of white -- and darker -- lying that one must penetrate to understand some of what's really being said around this town on a daily basis.

Consider this your personal translation dictionary.

When showroom headliners say: "Tonight, you're in for a very special treat."

They really mean: "I've done this twice a night for the past seven years."

Shows rarely change when audiences can be counted on changing every night. To a performer, remaining in Las Vegas is essentially the same phenomenon as being perpetually on tour.

When hotel moguls say: "Our next hotel is going to be unlike anything Las Vegas has ever seen."

They really mean: "It will be the same as our last hotel, only the rooms will cost more."

When gamblers say: "I broke even."

They really mean: "That two grand I lost at the beginning doesn't count."

Megaresorts wouldn't keep opening for $7 billion each if the odds were so even.

When weathercasters say: "It's gonna be warm out there."

They really mean: "The plastic in your car interior will revert to its molten state."

The average summer high temperature for Las Vegas is 107.8 degrees.

When politicians say: "There is absolutely no truth to that!"

They really mean: "How did you find out?"

When NDOT workers say: "The freeway expansion should be completed within two years."

They really mean: "When the sun explodes into a red giant that swallows the earth, we're pretty sure U.S. 95 will have 10 lanes by then."

It can take as long as 10 years for a highway project to move from the planning stage to groundbreaking, Nevada Department of Transportation director Susan Martinovich recently told the National Surface Transportation Policy and Revenue Study Commission. She blames federal regulations.

When doctors say: "You'll be just fine."

They really mean: "How should I know? Your HMO only pays me to spend 38 seconds with you."

According to a survey in the Nov. 6, 2006, edition of U.S. News & World Report, two of Nevada's largest HMOs, PacifiCare of Nevada and Sierra Health Services, ranked 207 and 209 out of 246 medical plans nationwide.

When visiting celebrities say: "This is my favorite (club/restaurant/spa)."

They really mean: "I just got paid $500,000 to tell you that."

Last year, Paris Hilton told GQ Magazine, "I get paid 500,000 dollars to go to Las Vegas or Japan and wave at crowds or go to a party."

When bouncers at trendy clubs say: "It'll be about 20 minutes."

They really mean: "It would be about 20 minutes if you were a gorgeous female barely out of your teens and your top. For you, I'd recommend either Denny's or tipping me $100."

Waiting in line at Las Vegas' most trendy clubs does not guarantee admission.

When new transplants say: "I can see myself living here for quite some time."

They really mean: "I haven't spent the summer here yet."

When taxi dispatchers say: "A cab will be at your location in 20 minutes."

They really mean: "No cab will ever pick you up off the Strip, and my co-workers and I are going to laugh at your expense after you hang up."

Cab drivers tend to concentrate on the Strip and the airport, according to R-J transportation reporter Omar Sofradzija. "The trick," he says, "is to find out which companies are geographically restricted to picking people up in your part of town."

When your friends say: "Nobhill is my favorite restaurant in Las Vegas."

They really mean: "I read the R-J review and want to impress you. But I ain't paying that kind of money."

When strangers on the Strip say: "I'm not looking for casual sex."

They really mean: "My wife/husband is upstairs in our hotel room, but I could go to your place."

When beautiful girls say: "Hi there!"

They really mean: "I'm a hooker."

Jack Sheehan, author of "Skin City," estimates the number of working girls in town between 2,000 and 3,000.