Pretty soon, they'll have an awards show for having the best award show," the sage Ozzy Osbourne recently told Review-Journal colleague Jason Bracelin.
The only thing we can add to that? They'll probably have it here.
You probably noticed Las Vegas casinos' torrid love affair with awards shows. Last week had two: "VH1 Rock Honors" and the Academy of Country Music Awards.
There will be more. The Palms will host the MTV Video Music Awards in September, though at 2,500 seats I don't see how The Pearl is going to hold more than the entourages of two or three pop stars.
And recently, AEG Live -- which operates the Colosseum at Caesars Palace and is building two new theaters at Echelon Place -- announced a partnership with The Nielsen Co. to brand Nielsen's Billboard name to more shows and events.
"We really like the awards show business and we feel we can spread these (events) out among our different properties," AEG president John Meglen noted recently. "They're great marquee events for a property."
(The deal probably negates a report that December's Billboard Music Awards would move to Nashville. Meglen says AEG will examine the option of moving them from the MGM Grand to the Colosseum.)
Casinos can negotiate product placement with dramatic helicopter angles of the hotel, bathed in floodlights. Gossip-column coverage of the after-parties doesn't hurt either, provided things don't get too out of hand.
For average ticket-buyers, however, "VH1 Rock Honors" had a few bugs in the system. Ten minutes before the scheduled 8 p.m. start, the Mandalay Bay Events Center looked nearly empty between the stage and the section of "cheap" ($81) seats directly opposite, no doubt filled by steadfast locals.
A crewman told me the producers were busy padding the room with seat fillers and changing camera angles to kill wide shots of the arena.
Clearly, whoever priced the tickets topping out at $185 misjudged the appeal, even with the show benefiting VH1's music program for schools.
And wouldn't it have been more fair to invite those who actually bought tickets to move in closer?
Perhaps the VH1 show, in only its second year, was still too new to generate excitement. Or perhaps its appeal was too fragmented at those prices: Were three songs enough for Genesis fans to shell out for a first look at the band's reunion?
The third song, at least, was a bonus for the live audience and Internet viewers; it won't be on the Thursday broadcast. Too often the craning cameras and downtime for commercials can make a paying audience feel like extras in a TV studio.
Sounds like there will be plenty more chances to get this stuff right.
Mike Weatherford's entertainment column appears Thursdays and Sundays. Contact him at 383-0288 or e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.