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Your 5 best bets for Vegas entertainment in the week ahead

Nick Swardson

Lots of comedians do jokes about Vegas buffets and slot machines. Nick Swardson has slightly edgier ones from his days as a “crazy party tornado,” and they just might get rolled into his stand-up act at 10 p.m. Saturday in the Terry Fator Theatre at The Mirage. Tickets are $54.49 to $65.39; call 702-792-7777.

‘Star Trek: The Ultimate Voyage’

Love the Jerry Goldsmith theme to “Star Trek: The Motion Picture,” but not so much that bald chick running around shouting “V-ger, V-ger”? The balance of power shifts to the music Monday when a live orchestra beams up “Star Trek: The Ultimate Voyage, a 50th Anniversary Concert Tour” at 7:30 p.m. at Orleans Arena. Tickets are $50; call 702-284-7777.

Tony Orlando

If you sing “Knock Three Times” for 45 years, that’s a lot of not-so-hard knocks. But Tony Orlando is still the eternal showman, bringing smiles back to the South Point at 7:30 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Tickets are $45 to $55; call 702-797-8055.

Dana Carvey

The Church Lady will never love you Vegas sinners, but you’ll never stop loving her. Dana Carvey has pumped himself up to perform at The Orleans for at least eight years, a run that doesn’t quite date back to the first George Bush presidency — yet somehow we think he will show up too. See Carvey at 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Tickets are $59.90 to $87.15; call 702-365-7075.

Kenny G

Go ahead, make your best Kenny G joke. He’s heard them all, and probably can top you with a better one. He’s laughed while he played that saxophone (maybe at not exactly the same time) all the way from his 1988 breakthrough “Silhouette” through last year’s “Brazilian Nights.” Chill with him 8 p.m. Friday at The Venetian. Tickets are $49.95 to $125; call 702-414-9000.

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