For a Valentine's Day story, a reporter asked Penn Jillette and his wife, Emily, what they love most about each other.
Emily's answer: "I love that he truly is the kindest, most loving, sensitive person I've ever met, as well as brilliant and gorgeous and funny. I've said it before, but I would be lucky to have him as my friend; it's pretty amazing that he's my husband."
Penn's response: "Um, tits."
But take heart, romantics. The man quickly redeemed himself.
"There's a line by Bob Dylan, 'You might think I'm odd if I say I'm not loving you for what you are but what you're not.' A lot of people I know just don't have everything perfect the way she does," he said.
To which Emily replied: "Awwww."
Except for the more colorful and creative members of the Fleet Street brotherhood, a good reporter isn't going to lie to you. Promise.
Last week, one reporter thought she was being helpful to a reader who was trying to find Hellman's mayonnaise in Las Vegas. That's a frequent question, actually, especially among newcomers to the West. So she sent a note back letting the reader know that it's called Hellman's east of the Rockies, Best Foods to the west.
The reply: Well, thanks, but my co-workers and I disagree; it doesn't taste the same.
With a heavy sigh, the reporter forwarded a link to the company's website, which clearly states that they're the same product, which a glance at the identically designed labels would confirm.
HEIDI KNAPP RINELLA
Henderson Justice of the Peace David Gibson evoked dire prophecy to bring levity to a recent proceeding in his court when he asked his clerk to set a hearing date for a man charged with a misdemeanor.
When his clerk set the hearing for Feb. 7, 2013, Gibson quipped: "I guess we'll find out if the Mayans are correct."
TWEET OF THE WEEK: @LisaLampanelli (Stand-up comic Lisa Lampanelli) Man has heart attack at 'Heart Attack Grill'. Remind me to never grab brunch at the 'HIV Hamlet'!