The seizure of 452 pounds of cocaine last week might not have set a record, but with a little creativity it could still leave a legacy.
Consider this: With an estimated value of $16.4 million, the hard drugs could provide the cold cash some strapped cities need.
Las Vegas' budget has a $4.2 million shortfall that's coming out of reserves, while North Las Vegas' $4.9 million funding gap could force a state takeover of the city.
Plugging those holes with drug money would leave $7.3 million for some other grand public use. More rehab facilities, perhaps.
See? Problem solved!
Now all we have to do is temporarily legalize cocaine.
During a meeting with the Review-Journal staff on Friday, U.S. Sen. Harry Reid was asked if there is anything redeeming about the tea party movement.
His answer: "Of course."
"Anytime you get people to be interested in government that haven't been interested, that's fine," Reid said in what turned out to be the set-up for a punchline.
"The people in Searchlight were so interested in the tea party they did everything they could to beat me," he continued. "But I showed them. I carried Searchlight by six votes."
From the Dubious Press Release Department: Hydroplex, which makes a high-end revolving hydroponic plant chamber, tried to piggyback on anxiety over the stock market with a missive proclaiming that "Stock Market Crash Causes Medical Marijuana Use to Sky Rocket Due to Nerves and Stress."
Their evidence was the fact that the California-based company sold more than 200 units last week, double what it usually does.
Is this really because of the stock market? Maybe. But it's also back-to-school time.
Hydroplex likes to boast that its "Spinner" product fits easily in most ceiling compartments. That makes it perfect for the ambitious dorm room entrepreneur! Just think of it as a stoner stimulus package.