‘Billions’ opens lame, while ‘Colony’ may have spark

They're reunited. But while the results may not exactly feel so good, they at least cut through the clutter of January's 50-something new and returning scripted series.

With the financial-intrigue drama "Billions" (10 p.m. Sunday, Showtime), Damian Lewis returns to the premium channel where he made his mark, albeit for one too many seasons, as "Homeland's" doomed Brody. And Josh Holloway, who burst onto the scene as "Lost's" scruffy Sawyer, gets back together with that series' co-showrunner, Carlton Cuse, for the alien-invasion drama "Colony" (10 p.m. Thursday, USA).

In still another bid to attract attention, "Billions" opens with a scene in which Paul Giamatti is trussed up in his underpants while a woman burns his chest with a cigarette before peeing on him.

It's something you can't unsee — or unhear.

It's also a fitting, albeit somewhat desperate, opening considering the series, which pits Giamatti's U.S. Attorney Chuck Rhoades against Lewis' "man of the people" billionaire Bobby Axelrod, is best described as a pissing match.

If that weren't already obvious, Axe, as he's known, excitedly calls his young sons' attention to the family dog as it urinates on the kitchen floor. "Look, look," Axe exclaims. "He's marking his territory!" Then he explains why people call it a pissing match.

Rhoades wants to put Axe in jail at any cost. Axe wants to avoid jail at any cost. And the woman caught between them — Rhoades' wife, Wendy (Maggie Siff, "Sons of Anarchy's"), is one of Axe's closest advisers — could determine the outcome.

With his ever present hoodie and jeans, Axe is a new take on the sleazy hedge-fund manager. But the sex, drugs and blackmail that should attract a decent following are watered down with plenty of rumblings about the purchase of a beachside mansion and much ado about the naming rights to a building.

And while Lewis and Giamatti bring plenty of fire to their confrontations, the writing is trite and simplistic. There's simply very little reason to care about any of the characters or their predicaments.

"Colony," meanwhile, offers less star power, but potentially more staying power.

Set in the near future in the aftermath of an extraterrestrial takeover, the drama focuses on the Bowans — Will (Holloway), Katie (Sarah Wayne Callies, "The Walking Dead") and their two children.

A gleaming wall running behind the Hollywood sign separates the Los Angeles Bloc from the rest of the world. Inside it, the residents grow their own produce, have established a thriving barter system and almost exclusively ride bicycles. So, basically, the aliens have turned L.A. into Portland.

When he's caught trying to sneak into Santa Monica to search for his 12-year-old son, who was separated from the family during the invasion, Will is recruited by the weaselly Proxy Snyder (Peter Jacobson, "House"). As an ex-Army Ranger and former fugitive hunter for the FBI, Will is tasked with infiltrating the resistance and destroying it. If he refuses to join the collaborators, the Bowmans will be transported to an intergalactic work camp.

There looks to be plenty more to explore, with a large cast of supporting characters, including Clark County native Amanda Righetti ("The Mentalist") as Katie's younger sister.

There'd better be.

Because, based solely on their pilots, there's little reason to believe "Billions" or "Colony" will be worth the investment of your time.

— Contact Christopher Lawrence at clawrence@reviewjournal.com. On Twitter: @life_onthecouch.