Real Life: Date Do's and Don'ts
Things that can make or break a rendezvous
By BETTIE PUDGE
A few weeks ago, I blessed you loyal readers with an article about dating netiquette and what was appropriate (or not) when it came to an online profile. This week, I'm going to tackle what you should or shouldn't do if that Internet honey wants to meet for a real life rendezvous. Grab a pen, a cocktail and let's get started!
RULE 1: TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE!
Nothing is more annoying than being interrupted in the middle of a conversation by someone's cell phone. Whether you are talking on it, text messaging with it or constantly checking your caller ID display, it's just downright RUDE! Please leave the cell phone on vibrate or *gasp* turn it completely off! Show the person you're with some respect and that you genuinely value the time they are spending with you. You know what they say: "Do unto others ..."
RULE 2: DON'T HOG THE CONVERSATION/SAY NEXT-TO-NOTHING
This can be difficult for those that are somewhat on the shy or nervous side. In all honesty, who wants to go out with a person who answers with single words and NEVER makes eye contact? It's going to make your date think you're not interested. If you're the classic Nervous Nelly, make the effort to talk more than usual or, in extreme cases, invest some time in Toastmasters before going on any more dates. You'll thank me later! On the flipside, please try not to rattle on about yourself unless your date asks. Think of it as an essay; keep your answers to a one-minute maximum and for every question you answer, ask a question in return! A conversational "volley" makes things go so much smoother and everyone gets a turn!
RULE 3: PERSONAL HYGIENE/APPEARANCE
Depending on what you have planned for a date, dress for the occasion. Since most first dates usually involve dinner and/or drinks, don't overdo it with the perfume or cologne, don't over- or under-dress, wear comfortable shoes, SHOWER, trim any unwanted hair (nose and ears), check fingernails, iron your clothes, tuck in your shirt, etc. I can't stress enough how important first impressions and appearances are. Go the extra mile! How disappointing would it be to know that your date discounted you within the first 15 minutes because they were secretly gagging on the over-abundance of your latest fragrance purchase?
RULE 4: PROPER TABLE MANNERS
If you're going to be dining during your date, remember what your Momma always told you: "No talking with food in your mouth!" It's a simple, well-worn rule that works. While we're at it, please don't floss, pick your teeth, chew with your mouth open, burp, pick off your date's plate, brush hair, apply make-up or readjust your "goods" at the dinner table! If Mom wouldn't approve, your date probably wouldn't either. Act accordingly.
RULE 5: DON'T TALK ABOUT EXES/PAST CONQUESTS
I hold this one near and dear to my heart as I've experienced Good Old No. 5 on COUNTLESS dates. Some were minor offenses (details of a divorce) to some flagrant dating errors ("bagging" twins on a cruise ship). Egads! Nothing kills a date faster than mentioning any type of past relationship! Unless you can bring a relevant and positive topic about an ex into the present conversation, then abstain from flappin' your gums! Enough said.
RULE 6: TMI (TOO MUCH INFORMATION)
On the first few dates you want to get to know your amour better and vice versa. But how much is too much information to share with a virtual stranger? It's OK to regale your date about the details of your vacation in Paris. Refrain from mentioning that you are on medication for a "nasty rash." It's OK to mention that you love sports, especially the Las Vegas Wranglers. Refrain from mentioning that you're on the hunt for a significant other because you believe that they'll be a great distraction from your raging gambling addiction. Get the idea?
RULE 7: NO GIFTS, PLEASE
There's no better way to creep out a first date than by giving a first date the stereotypical flowers or candy. Although the gesture is nice, it's extremely old-fashioned. In most instances, you're going to weird the person out. Unless you have developed some incredible rapport with your date about, for instance, Bonanza Gift Shop then it wouldn't be out-of-line to bring along a gift that means something between the two of you (I recommend the nefarious peek-a-boo ballpoint pens). Exercise your own judgment on this one. I'm just relaying the opinions of the masses.
RULE 8: TELL THE TRUTH
This is just the standard Golden Rule when it comes to dating (and life) ... period! In fact, I'll share with you a recent conversation I had with my good buddy Ralph. I couldn't say it any better than he could: "Try and be yourself, good or bad. The truth always comes out!! I think people should not try so hard to impress. And DON'T tell lies ... even little white ones. What if you meet the perfect one and have to go back and re-write history? It could squash a good thing." See, folks? Listen to Ralph. He knows all.
In conclusion, it doesn't take a rocket-science degree to figure out what's going to fly on a date. Use some common sense. If you're still in the dark about date etiquette and what's OK and what's not, ask for a neutral third-party opinion. I don't want you showing up on the "Date From Hell" page anytime soon.
Good luck and happy dating!
Do you have any ideas on topics I should be covering about the singles' scene in Las Vegas? Please email me and tell me about them! bettiepudge@reviewjournal.com
