Disabled Dating
A disability shouldn't stop you from having a love life
By BETTIE PUDGE
It's a dog-eat-dog environment in that hellish world of dating. It seems you just can't get your foot in the door without a beautiful exterior. And no one is going to "kick your tires" and want to check out the inside if the exterior doesn't meet their criteria. It's just the way things are, like it or not.
I crack myself up when friends and acquaintances bitch and moan about being single and how all the people in this town are freaks. Blah blah blah! Would you like a glass for that whine? Never do I hear them say how fortunate they are for being healthy and able-bodied. How often do you think the paraplegic girl/guy gets asked out for dinner and drinks by hot babes? It's time to put the shoe on the other foot.
The first thing I checked on was how the larger, mainstream sites handled members with disabilities. Not surprisingly, the profile specs were vague and catered to the masses. Unless you stated in your own descriptive paragraph about your situation, no one is going to have a clue. I also discovered that it was only in 2000 that AOL finally made their chat rooms and other services able to be translated by screen-reading technology for the blind. Talk about being behind the times!
Then I started my search for disabled dating options on google.com (where all of my great searches start). I was trying to get an idea of what other sites were available to those with challenges and what exactly was considered a "disability"? I found that, according to these sites, a disability ranged from amputees, para- and quadriplegics, neurological disabilities, ADHD, chronic fatigue syndrome, psoriasis, depression, obesity (what??) and more. Not all of the members on these sites had disabilities yet were looking for someone who did have one.
Here were some of the sites that I found:
www.lovebyrd.com
This is a site that features ads from disabled adults (and their devotees) from around the globe. For only $19.95 a month you can send out messages to other members. For free of charge, the site also has useful extras like a message board, an event page, articles, and classified ads. 10% of all subscriptions go to charitable organizations.
www.whispers4u.com
This site is 100% free for women looking for men. Novel idea, eh? If you'd like to be a premium member, you can subscribe for £9.99 (almost $18) for a 28-day period. They do offer some lame dating tips, an instant messenger, but that is about it. Kinda lame.
Unfortunately, there just weren't any other sites out there worth even an honorable mention. The main problem being a lack of members, scattershot quality, and required registration to just do a simple search. Disappointing, indeed!
The plus side to the situation is that sites catering to this somewhat "niche dating market" are on the rise. Maybe there will be more disabled dating sites to come in the near future? Or, this would be great, a way to specify a disability (or desire for a match with one) on Yahoo and Match profiles? (I smell an uprising.)
Now is the time when I preach: For all of you able-bodied brethren out there, just remember that looks only go so far. It really is what is on the inside that counts. Just because someone has a physical impairment does not mean that their brains are not functioning. They are intelligent, free-thinking individuals just like you and I. It's just that maybe they're body doesn't cooperate with them all the time or they're missing something (a body part, sight, hearing).
Do unto others as you would have done unto you! Are you feeling my hippie, free-love vibe here? At least you could possibly get a friend out of the deal. I know I keep blabbing about that "friend thing" in a lot of my articles but I can't help it!! I preach it, I believe it, I mean it!
Good luck and happy dating!
Do you have any ideas on topics I should be covering about the singles' scene in Las Vegas? Please email me and tell me about them! bettiepudge@reviewjournal.com
