Stand-up comedian and casino host James Bean was “on the precipice” of suicide in the spring of 2004. “There I was, failed marriage, struggling father, floundering career in comedy, and absolutely no one to talk to,” he writes in his new book, “When the Humor is Gone.” Bean was well aware of the irony “of me being a comedian, bringing joy and laughter to so many when my own life was in turmoil and despair.”
At the last minute, he decided his life was a journey he wanted to continue, if not for himself, then for his 5-year-old daughter. His book traces his challenges from depression to seeking help and finding stability. He also shares the experiences of others who have gone through similar trials. For more information, search for “Author James Bean” on Facebook.
Excerpt from ‘When the Humor is Gone’
My underlying thought was that I didn’t want to be on earth even one minute longer. I felt as if my head was centered in a metal vice and someone was turning it slowly, increasing the pain and pressure with each turn.
I was exhausted mentally and physically. There were days when I did not want to get out of bed; instead I would stay home, holed up, and not have to come into contact with anyone. I felt like a walking corpse, devoid of emotion, feeling and desire. I just wanted to make the pain disappear.