GOP presidential challenger Mitt Romney is "struggling" to recover from "a cascade of missteps," Karen Tumulty of The Washington Post reported on the front page of many an American newspaper last Wednesday.
In the narrative being relentlessly promoted by much of the nation's press, Republicans have nominated a foot-in-mouth goon whose every statement is either a "gaffe" or a "misstep," making them wish they'd turned to a more sober-minded statesman on the order of Dan Quayle, Jerry Lewis of Martin-and-Lewis fame, or maybe Professor Irwin Corey.
Let us recall a few moments in this parade of "gaffes." On his European swing, Romney was asked how Olympic preparations in London appeared to be going. He pointed out what anyone who'd read a newspaper knew - organizers had come up short on security guards and were having to hire hundreds more. This was a concern, Romney said.
"Gaffe!" the American press shouted. "He insulted the British!"
But imagine if Romney had said "Everything looks fine," and then there'd been some awful terrorist assault. Wouldn't this same press corps have thundered: "But Romney said everything looked good! Couldn't he even read the newspapers?"
Then Mr. Romney visited Israel, where he declared the capital of that tiny nation is Jerusalem.
"Gaffe!" the American press shouted again. "He offended the Arabs!"
In fact, Jerusalem has been not only the official but also the de facto capital of Israel for decades. Pretending otherwise is mere political posturing.
Florida is a swing state in the 2012 election, and there's a fairly large Jewish voting bloc there. Jewish Americans increasingly are concerned that Barack Hussein Obama, whose father was raised in a Muslim family and whose Indonesian stepfather was Muslim, has been cozying up to the Arabs and leaving Israel to spin in the wind. Thus, Romney's remark was clearly calculated, in advance, to make inroads among Jewish voters, particularly in toss-up Florida. Where's the "gaffe"?
And now comes a video of Romney - speaking off the record to a group of donors but posted on the Internet by hard-left Mother Jones magazine - explaining his electoral strategy.
In it, he describes 47 percent of Americans as "people who pay no income tax," who are "dependent upon government," who regard themselves as "victims" who are "entitled to health care, to food, to housing, you name it."
Since those 47 percent are determined to vote for Obama, Republicans must appeal to independents and the undecided, Mr. Romney appears to have been explaining.
Now, I sincerely wish Mitt Romney - or someone able to advance an even more rousing and spirited defense of small government and increased personal liberty, someone more like Ron Paul or Libertarian Gary Johnson - were in the process of sweeping to a 43-state landslide.
The problem is, poll-takers tell us anyone predicting such an outcome today is delusional. (Though, for the record, I suspect Mr. Romney will take a few more states than the in-the-tank Obama media are willing to admit.)
In fact, the race will be decided by a small percentage of independents or "undecideds" in a few battleground states - just as Mitt Romney said.
And why will those 47 percent of Americans vote for Barack Obama? Because he has nicer shoes?
Those committed to vote Democratic do so because they believe we need lots of government bureaucrats to stop greedy employers from making the lives of poor folk a living hell - and/or because they enjoy (or plan to soon be enjoying) the "benefits" of government largesse to which every Democrat since FDR has told them they're "entitled."
Just like Mitt Romney said.
Mr. Romney's "47 percent" statement is so unexceptional that if any on-air commentator had said the same thing - perhaps prettied up with a few euphemisms - we'd all be stifling a yawn: "Where's this guy been?"
Yet the press want us to believe Mitt Romney might as well call it quits, because he's been caught telling the truth one more time.
How far is the press in the tank for Obama? They certainly don't seem to be worried about how they're going to sew back together any reputation for even-handedness after Nov. 6.
Where are the stories pointing out that the Obama camp is increasingly desperate to change the subject as the candidate runs around telling American businessmen, "If you've got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen," and "The private sector is doing fine," while his vice president treats a predominantly black audience to "(Romney) said ... he's going to let the big banks write their own rules - unchain Wall Street. They're going to put y'all back in chains."
Gaffes? No, no. The press races into a song and dance rivaling the rituals of some Amazon shaman to explain how right-wing kooks have merely taken these remarks out of context.
And how about that moment, back in March, when reporters heard Mr. Obama ask Russian President Dmitri Medvedev to give him some space on missile defense negotiations?
"The exchange was picked up by microphones as reporters were let into the room for remarks by the two leaders," ABC News reported:
"President Obama: On all these issues, but particularly missile defense, this, this can be solved, but it's important for him to give me space.
"President Medvedev: Yeah, I understand. I understand your message about space. Space for you. ...
"President Obama: This is my last election. After my election I have more flexibility.
"President Medvedev: I understand. I will transmit this information to Vladimir."
That's not a gaffe. That's a promise to Vladimir Putin that once he no longer has to worry about American popular opinion, Barack Obama, raised at the knee of Communist Party USA member Frank Marshall Davis, can be counted on to further sell us down the river, unilaterally gutting our missile defense.
The economy is in shambles. The policy of appeasement of Muslim radicals has the Middle East in flames and an American ambassador dead, dragged through the streets after Hillary Clinton declined to provide him with a Marine bodyguard. A missile defense sellout to the Russians awaits only Mr. Obama's re-election in seven weeks.
But it's Mitt Romney who's "struggling to recover from a cascade of missteps"?
Vin Suprynowicz is author of "Send in the Waco Killers" and the novel "The Black Arrow." See www.vinsuprynowicz.com.