Hmm, do you think Kathy Griffin knows any Britney Spears jokes?

Kathy Griffin will record her next comedy album, “Kathy Griffin: Live from Las Vegas,” on Saturday at The Mirage. She gave me that news, in between putting clown noses on Britney Spears, Celine Dion and Bruce Jenner.

Let’s start with Spears, the Planet Hollywood resort artist.

“You haven’t seen Britney here, have you?” I said.

“Every time I play The Mirage is her weekend off. What is she, on welfare? Is she working or not?” Griffin said.

Griffin asked me for inside information. I told her I know a disappointed front-row Spears fan who joked to me that Spears even lip-syncs the part where she says, “Hello, Vegas.”

“I remember one year, she opened the Billboard Awards to the backdrop of the Bellagio fountains, and I think she thought she was in Niagara Falls,” Griffin said.

“Uh-huh,” I said.

“She’s no Celine,” Griffin said. “Celine is still at her birth weight.”

I asked Griffin what she wants people to know about her show Saturday.

“I’m actually taping it, making an audio recording, because as the current Grammy winner for best comedy album, I have the nerve to try to get my seventh consecutive Grammy nomination for comedy album,” she said. “ ‘Kathy Griffin: Live from Las Vegas.’ ”

The nice thing about an audio special is she can be more uncensored than in TV specials, she said.

“I’m ready to make fun of Jamie Lynn Spears, your best friend,” Griffin said.

Griffin was referring to my two recent interviews with the perfectly nice sister and father of Britney, in which we discussed our shared Louisiana roots and Daddy Spears’ barbecue grill.

“I know your game, Doug,” Griffin said. “You manipulated them with your Southern roots to get information out of that poor Jamie Lynn, as if she hasn’t been through enough.

“Can you confirm Jamie Lynn Spears was at least drunk on the phone call, or did she speak in tongues? I know they’re very religious,” Griffin said.

“She’s the most well-spoken of the Spears,” I said.

“Oh, lord. Welcome to America,” Griffin said, and then she started chanting, “U-S-A. U-S-A.”

Griffin just won an Emmy.

“My Emmy is more important to me than people or organs,” she said.

Then, since Griffin lacks an attention span, suddenly we were talking about the family that rhymes with “CarTrashians.”

“ ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ this year has accidentally turned into a reality show,” Griffin said. “It’s obviously what they call a ‘soft-scripted’ show. But this year, they bit off a little more than they could chew.”

“You’re totally right,” I said. “It finally did turn into a real show, because Bruce Jenner went ‘all female,’ ” I joked.

“I don’t make any judgments,” she said. “I don’t know if Bruce is an LGBTQIA2345 or 6.”

“Maybe the ‘B’ in LGBT is Bruce,” I joked, and I hereby apologize to everyone for that insensitive joke.

“He’s got the gold medals, he might as well get one of the letters,” Griffin said.

I asked Griffin for final thoughts about her Las Vegas show.

“Put the kids to bed,” she said. “I never cease to be amazed at how many families think it’s a really good idea to, as a family, take a nice stroll down the Strip with the kids in a double-sided stroller at 2 a.m.”

“It would be cool if you could bring Anderson Cooper,” I said of her best friend, “and he could push you around in a stroller on the Strip. I think that’s your show.”

“Anderson knows I can’t wait for my first Rascal (mobility scooter). And what better town to break it in,” Griffin said.

“Trust me, I would love nothing more than to go on stage on a Rascal with an oxygen tank, a colostomy bag, and maybe have a walker off to the side with the tennis balls on the legs, because that’s the way to do Vegas in August — just as little mobility as possible.”

VIPUSSYCAT

Just a reminder from Norm Clarke’s column: You can see the real Grumpy Cat, who has inspired an Internet of memes, at 6 p.m. today at The Linq’s Kitson shop for, yes, a book tour stop.

Doug Elfman’s column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Email him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.

ad-high_impact_4
Entertainment
Robert Deniro And Chef Nobu Talk About The Success Of Nobu
Robert Deniro And Chef Nobu Talk About The Success Of Nobu (Al Mancini Las Vegas Review-journal)
Nevada Ballet Theatre rehearses for "Dracula" at The Smith Center
Nevada Ballet Theatre rehearses for "Dracula" at The Smith Center (Janna Karel/ Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Downtown Summerlin hosts its annual Festival of Arts
People crowd to Downtown Summerlin for the 23rd annual Summerlin Festival of Arts in Las Vegas, Sunday, Oct. 14, 2018. (Caroline Brehman/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Bellagio, MGM Resorts International’s luxury hotel turns 20
The more than 3,000-room Bellagio hotel is situated on the site of the former Dunes Hotel. The Dunes was imploded in 1993, and construction of the Bellagio started in 1996. It cost $1.6 billion to build, making it the most expensive hotel in the world at the time. The Bellagio was former Wynn Resorts Ltd. Chairman and CEO Steve Wynn’s second major casino on the Strip after The Mirage. MGM Resorts International acquired the property from Steve Wynn in 2000. (Tara Mack/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Recycled Art and Cute Dogs at Summerlin Festival Of Arts
Recycled Art, Cute Dogs Abound At Summerlin Festival Of Arts (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Bellagio Patisserie Creates Life-size Sculpture Of 20th Anniversary Of Cirque Du Soleil Show
Bellagio Patisserie Creates Life-size Sculpture Of 20th Anniversary Of Cirque Du Soleil Show (Janna Karel/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
10 Most Iconic Moments At The Bellagio Fountains
10 Most Iconic Moments At The Bellagio Fountains (Janna Karel/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Jason Aldean talks about the possibility of a Las Vegas residency
Country superstar Jason Aldean discusses his feelings about playing in Las Vegas and says he'd be interested in a Las Vegas residency when the time is right at the iHeart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas on September 21, 2018.(John Katsilometes/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Block 16 Urban Food Hall Serves Favorite Foods From Across The US
Block 16 Urban Food Hall Serves Favorite Foods From Across The US (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Benny the Skating Dog could be the next Golden Knights on-ice entertainment
Benny the Skating Dog could be the next Golden Knights on-ice entertainment (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Who To Watch At Life Is Beautiful
Life Is Beautiful Setup
Workers preparing Fremont street for this weekend's Life is Beautiful festival, on Wednesday, September 19, 2018. Mat Luschek/Las Vegas Review-Journal
The 46th annual Greek Food Festival will feed 25,000 people in Las Vegas
Madame Tussauds Has The Newest VR Experience On The Strip
Madame Tussauds Has The Newest VR Experience On The Strip. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Zia Records Move
Zias Records is moving from its Sahara Avenue and Arville Street location to a bigger store. (Mat Luscheck/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Students At The International Contortion Convention In Las Vegas Learn How To Bend And Twist Their Bodies
Students At The International Contortion Convention In Las Vegas Learn How To Bend And Twist Their Bodies. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Video from Fertitta wedding Sep. 1
video from @wedstagrams of Fertitta wedding at Red Rock Resort
You Can Get Vegan Unicorn Toast In Downtown Las Vegas
You Can Get Vegan Unicorn Toast In Downtown Las Vegas (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Five must-see bands at Psycho Las Vegas 2018
Five must-see bands at Psycho Las Vegas 2018
Zuma's Ice Cube Carving Is Satisfying To Watch
Zuma's Ice Cube Carving Is Satisfying To Watch (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Therapy In Downtown Las Vegas Serves Cast Iron S'mores
Therapy In Downtown Las Vegas Serves Cast Iron S'mores. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
TOP NEWS
News Headlines
Add Event
Home Front Page Footer Listing
Circular
You May Like

You May Like