Movie paranoia: How scary films change the way you live forever

Scary movies change the ways we live. Do you know how I know that? Zach Braff’s offscreen mom in “Garden State” got paralyzed by a dishwasher. I think about that every time I do dishes.

This is called “movie paranoia.”

For the same reason, my mattress is directly on the floor, so that there’s no space underneath for Stephen King’s “Carrie” to arise from the grave and grab my Amy Irving wrist.

I asked my friends on Facebook if they have any movie paranoias they would like to share with you. Their responses are a deluge of funny — but frightening — life-changing tales. Feel free to add your movie paranoias in the comments.

Laura Coronado: Omg!!! I am paranoid about the dishwasher, too! Glad to know I’m not alone. PS: I have always thought your wrists resemble those of Amy Irving’s. Happy to know you’re not insecure about that.

Lea Keel Holland: My mattress isn’t on the floor, but when I step out of bed some mornings, i do think about that scene in “Pet Sematary” where the person’s Achilles tendon gets slashed.

Nick Klasne: Can no longer dive into the Atlantic Ocean without hearing the theme from “Jaws” in my head.

Diane Roselli: The shower scene in the 1960 movie “Psycho.” I make sure my bathroom door is always locked.

Jeremy Ginsburg: What if I am like Shallow Hal?

Lea Keel Holland: Nick’s comment is precisely why I won’t let my children see “Jaws” any time soon!

Eve Thomas: I’ve definitely avoided climbing up or down chimneys thanks to Gremlins.

Jules Sparks: Final Destination (2 maybe) — hand in the disposal fear.

Teresa Carlton Howell: OMG!!! I will NEVER, EVER, in this or any other life, stay in a hostel.

Martin Stein: I’m terrified that I’ll one day find myself in a biker bar and be forced to dance to “Tequila.”

Jules Sparks: But. I thought meeting me at the Blue Oyster Bar and tangoing until the dawn was the highlight of your life, Martin.

Tracine Stine: Eating BBQ anywhere on a Texas backroad.

Christopher Barcia: I haven’t swam in the ocean since June 1st 1975 because with the best horror movie ever jaws now that’s paranoia

Kyle Wheeler: I used to have my mattress on the floor, until we found a scorpion crawling up the side. I got to work putting the frame together right away, at 1 in the morning. To actually answer the question, I will not look in the mirror when I have to get up in the middle of the night.

Christopher Barcia: Fatal attraction also made me realize, one crazy b@#$% is more than enough for me

Nancy Ross: Ha! When we lived in Vegas, we had a super high log bed frame. One of our cat rescues when we first got him would sit under my side and lightly bite my toes. He only did it to me. He had extra toes that looked like boxing gloves — named him Sugar Ray. Oh, and adding to having the high bed frame — I had to have a light on to get in bed if I was in the house alone. No one specific movie caused, just scary movies in general.

Martin Kreloff: 1950’s “Duck and Cover” educational film.

Christopher Barcia: If I may speak for my mom she’s 84 she always prayed she wouldn’t live to see the day when the world became like the movie Clockwork Orange. She still replies she made it!

Doug McMurdo: Thanks to the Hangover 2, no more getting wasted and soliciting prostitutes in Bangkok for me.

Matt Kelemen: I have never tried to go through a metal detector with foil-wrapped produce vis-a-vis Spinal Tap

Anne Kellogg: Where do I start? Keeping windows open on Halloween while babysitting, making out in the woods — cabin or no cabin, boating on the ocean and going anywhere near Amityville — ever.

Dave Berns: Two words: Ned Beatty.

Alex Brewer-Disarufino: In the forgotten Martin Sheen horror film THE BELIEVERS, the water from a coffee hazard pot slowly leaks out creating an electrocution that zaps his wife. it is a quiet and violent death and i think about it every morning. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkQpPKxkoM)

Ken Miller: Every time I pass a semi truck on the road, I speed by — and away — as fast as possible. Thanks, Duel.

Mike Kalil: I hike, so theoretically, I love the great outdoors. Yet I’ve never been camping. If I had a therapist, I assume reconciling this would require discussion of me seeing “Deliverance” as a 12-year-old.

Mike Boone: I refuse. REFUSE to fly in a spaceship controlled by a self-aware computer. THANKS 2001!!!!

Seth Yudof: As a kid, we had a long hallway in my house. Late at night, I’d run quickly down it, because I always pictured the creatures from Alien crawling on the walls and chasing me.

Nancy Ross: Ooooh, when I was babysitting in a two-story house, I had just seen “When a Stranger Calls” — there was no way I was going to “check the children” if the phone rang! Even though I know that the Amityville house stories were fake, I still wouldn’t stay in that house. Officially, I don’t believe in ghosts, but in practice, I’m not going to risk it.

Martin Stein: Mike Kalil, just don’t go canoeing.

Thomas Conner: No, because I follow the damn instructions and keep the Gremlins dry.

Jeff Elbel: Let’s put it this way: If you want to spend your weekend with three other couples in a cabin in the woods, that’s fine. But count me out.

Barry Berlin: make sure closet doors are closed! always bad things hiding out in there!

Mona Joseph: Jaws

Nancy Ross: Has anyone here shown Jaws to their children? Did they just think it was dumb with bad special effects or did they get the terror of it?

Christine-Marie Licato Olds: I stayed away from butter for a really long time after Last Tango in Paris. The TV show “When Havoc Struck” instilled a fear of bridges collapsing and spontaneous combustion

Christine-Marie Licato Olds: Dueling banjos and squealing pigs would activate my fight or flight. Was hyper vigilant in AL, MS & LA after Katrina

Mona Joseph: Big deserted hotels “here’s Johnny!”

Ella Elise Phillips: Three words: Ass to ass.

Ginger Meurer: Thanks to “Psycho,” I had to use a clear plastic shower curtain for years.

Lisa Kendigian: earthquake in sensaround. ‘nuff said.

Ella Elise Phillips: Also I told you about my seven year zombie psychosis in which I would peak out of the windows every so “just to make sure”

Alan Choate: No movie paranoia here. Although once at church camp, all the tales of backmasking satanic lyrics and the end times had me dreaming of demon-eyed Rottweilers leaping into the cabin.

Ronda Churchill: I am still always uneasy parking in parking garages, particularly those underground ones like at the palazzo, after watching a documentary when I was about 14 on an earthquake showing people trapped in parking garages that had collapsed.

John M. Kawano: Because of “Blazing Saddles” I have a limit of fifteen schnitzengubens.

Marlene Greenfield: Some public restroom stalls remind of “Witness” horror from childhood.

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