Shia LaBeouf got married in Las Vegas on Monday, causing female fans to cry online, “My life is over,” and “At least I was prepared for this possibility and got two cats.”
The “Transformers” actor married actress Mia Goth at Viva Las Vegas wedding chapel.
An Elvis minister asked them well-trodden Elvis questions: “Do you both agree to adopt each other’s hound dogs, not to wear your blue suede shoes in the rain, to always be each other’s teddy bear, and to give each other a hunka-hunka, burnin’ love?”
LaBeouf and Goth met while co-starring in Lars von Trier’s acclaimed 2013 sex-movie series “Nymphomaniac.”
LaBeouf has pulled so many stunts, the media reported the wedding with a shrug, as if to say, “Here’s Shia LaBeouf doing something we’re not sure we believe again.”
Here are just three LaBeouf performance art moments from the past few years:
1) He wore a bag on his head, and the bag had these words on it, “I am not famous anymore.” This was on a red carpet for “Nymphomaniac” after he stormed away from a press conference for no apparent reason.
2) He got arrested at a Walgreens for walking in and out, apparently drunk, in different outfits during the same night, and refusing to leave.
3) He was reportedly accused of plagiarism after directing a short film based on a comic strip without crediting the comic, and his apology was a copy-paste from Yahoo Answers.
TMZ garnered an outpouring of comments for its live stream, but YouTube videos of the wedding weren’t cracking 20,000 views each, an anemic showing for a celebrity wedding in our social media age when everyone else is more famous than famous people.
Still, he has fanatics. Instagram fan account @shialabeoufdaily ran wedding photos, eliciting comments from people envious of Goth, such as the above cat comment and “Noooo:( he’s my bae,” and “worse (sic) day of my life!”
FLAVOR FLAV: MAD BOWLER
Las Vegan Flavor Flav is looking for a DJ residency here. He’s already played a few gigs at the Hard Rock Hotel, and he’ll DJ Friday night, from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m., at the hotel’s Center Bar.
Flav’s life has become calmer. He’s raising a 9-year-old son. His celebrity friends include Criss Angel and Carrot Top. He sees their shows occasionally.
But the main entertainment this Public Enemy rapper engages in is what?
“I’m a bowling junkie. I can’t help it,” he told me Tuesday. “You can find me at the South Point, like, three times a week.”
He bowls in the 160s and 170s, throwing the ball straight, no curves.
Flav is one of the most famous hype men in music, so he put it like this:
“Let me tell you, on the bowling alley, they call me Flavor Flav, Twinkle-Toes, Flintstone!”
Flav also plays craps, baccarat and roulette, but he limits himself.
“If I win, I’ll keep playing, but if I lose, then I leave,” he said. “I won’t really gamble more than $2,000.”
His signature chicken recipe is selling buckets at Rockhouse Las Vegas in Grand Canal Shoppes. His group Public Enemy recently toured overseas with The Prodigy.
And the star of “Flavor of Love” could be on TV again soon, but he can’t give details yet.
His Friday DJ set is free to see. He mixes new songs with classics, since he came of age carrying crates of vinyl records by acts like Grandmaster Flash, Frankie Beverly and Maze, Journeyand Joan Jett.
He hopes to get a residency because Vegas is home, he said:
“Mannn, I love it! Twelve years here and I’m not trying to move.”
If you want to try to see comic Bob Sagat, the casts of “Pawn Stars” and “Absinthe,” plus the band Neon Trees, and celebrity chefs, they’ll be walking a red carpet Thursday.
The Brooklyn Bowl concert venue is hosting a food and comedy fundraiser called the Scleroderma Research Foundation’s Cool Comedy-Hot Cuisine.
Chefs heading to the 6 p.m. carpet: Hubert Keller, Rick Moonen, Susan Feniger and Mary Sue Milliken. Tickets are sold out. For more info: SRFCure.org.
ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and wife Gilligan Stillwater ate lunch Friday at Carlito’s Burritos and Live-Fire-Q before the band performed at the Palms. He posed for fan photos and engaged in (not kidding) a beard-measuring contest with a customer.
Doug Elfman can be reached at email@example.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman. On Twitter: @VegasAnonymous