Ben Gleib, doing stand-up at Palms, doesn’t let getting punched in the nose keep his spirits down

Ben Gleib was sitting and talking with Paris Hilton in a nightclub when, whamo, he was sucker-punched in the nose.

This was in April at the Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles. Police charged Paris’ friend Brandon Davis with battery and possession of cocaine. (Davis’ nickname: Greasy Bear. TMZ curiously identified him as a “celebrity director.”)

Gleib — the comedian and regular on “Chelsea Lately” — still isn’t sure if Davis was even the culprit, because it happened so fast, so they have resolved their differences amicably, he says.

“It’s all part of the adventure. That’s why I live in Hollywood,” says Gleib, who performs tonight and Saturday as part of the Palms’ Playboy Comedy Lounge.

“When you’re not living in the mean streets of Detroit, your second-best option is to be at an overindulgent, insane, hyperactive club staring at a man in a panda suit and have your nose broken by a man running at you from the left.”

All Gleib will tell me is the reason for the punch was that some guy, whoever it was, didn’t want Gleib sitting next to Hilton.

But Gleib didn’t have it coming. He wasn’t creeping on Hilton.

“No, no!” he says. “I was just talking to her.”

He chooses to look on the bright side.

“One good thing about having your nose broken at a nightclub is, you instantly feel drunker, which saves on alcohol costs.

“And when you finally get released from the hospital at 8 that morning, you can read about yourself on TMZ.

“It’s a win-win situation, if by ‘win-win’ you mean ‘lose-lose, horrible evening.’ ”

Hilton didn’t send flowers to the hospital or call Gleib.

“But I did see her at a party about two months later, and she touched my shoulder. So it’s all worthwhile.

“Her main quality is giving, I think.”

Greasy Bear pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine and no contest to battery.

Gleib’s nose remains out of whack.

“I’m not saying I want to get punched more, but if it happens, you get two to three weeks of vicodin and hydrocodone,” he says.

“So yeah, you might have a messed-up face, but you get addicted to pills also. Again: another win-win.”

Sordid news

Gleib says it’s been a bad month for rape news.

There’s the Penn State scandal involving an assistant coach and child molestation.

“I feel like you shouldn’t want to win that bad,” Gleib says. “How good of a coach are you, really, when you need to keep rapists around to keep that winning edge?”

The Penn State case underlines the point that people really like to win at football, he says.

“They say football is warlike. Interestingly, even in war, I don’t think it’s acceptable to rape young boys, so people are taking it more seriously than war.

“You know you’re making a mistake when your sport has now surpassed the intensity of war crimes.”

Then there’s Herman Cain. He’s not accused of rape but of sexual harassment.

“His excuses are completely outlandish. He’s always like: I’m Herman Cain, and I’ve never in my life done anything wrong,” Gleib says.

“When you say you’ve never in your life done anything wrong, you’ve overshot by a lot.”

And finally, there’s ex-Las Vegas student Mariah Yeater, who claimed underage singer Justin Bieber knocked her up. Bieber denies it.

“If it’s true, then she statutory-raped him,” Gleib says.

“You’re like a financial wizard of rape if you can rape somebody and then get monthly payments for the next 18 years. I mean, bravo to your legal defense team,” he says.

If all of these unseemly rape stories have got you down, Gleib has an idea.

“My theory of how we can wrap this up in a nice, tight bow is if Herman Cain becomes the next coach of Penn State … and for their next opening game next year, the halftime show — Justin Bieber and his statutory rapist.”

In the PR-stunt land of America we live in right now, that sounds only half-far-fetched.

Doug Elfman’s column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Email him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.

ad-high_impact_4
Entertainment
Famous Infinity Mirror Room is open in Las Vegas
Yayoi Kusama's "Aftermath of Obliteration of Infinity" mirror room is open at the Bellagio in Las Vegas (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Glittering Lights dazzles Las Vegas
The Glittering Lights holiday display is shining at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. (Mat Luschek/ Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Skybar at Waldorf Astoria lets you sip your way through Las Vegas history
Skybar At Waldorf Astoria Lets You Sip Your Way Through Las Vegas History (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Stan Lee in Las Vegas for Madame Tussauds unveiling
Stan Lee Las Vegas speaks with the Review-Journal's Chris Lawrence about his love for his fans and shared universes. (Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Ultimate Belgium Waffle Sundae at Lavo
Lavo at the Palazzo serves a 16-scoop ice cream sundae that costs $800. (Rochelle Ricahrds, Janna Karel/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
A New Zip Line Is Opening On The Las Vegas Strip
A New Zip Line Is Opening On The Las Vegas Strip (Janna Karel lLas Vegas Review-Journal)
You'll need a keen eye to find this secret bar on the Las Vegas Strip
You'll need a keen eye to find this secret bar on the Las Vegas Strip (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
"The Lion King" roars into Las Vegas
New music club 172 brings loud luxury to Las Vegas
New music venue at the Rio brings rock ’n’ roll and food together at intimate club. K.M. Cannon/Las Vegas Review-Journal
Fans fear for Zak Bagans’ safety in Las Vegas Halloween TV special
Fly Linq zip line time lapse
Fly Linq zip line timelapse
Shaq opens Las Vegas restaurant, Big Chicken
Shaq opens Las Vegas restaurant, Big Chicken
Robert Deniro And Chef Nobu Talk About The Success Of Nobu
Robert Deniro And Chef Nobu Talk About The Success Of Nobu (Al Mancini Las Vegas Review-journal)
Nevada Ballet Theatre rehearses for "Dracula" at The Smith Center
Nevada Ballet Theatre rehearses for "Dracula" at The Smith Center (Janna Karel/ Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Downtown Summerlin hosts its annual Festival of Arts
People crowd to Downtown Summerlin for the 23rd annual Summerlin Festival of Arts in Las Vegas, Sunday, Oct. 14, 2018. (Caroline Brehman/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Bellagio, MGM Resorts International’s luxury hotel turns 20
The more than 3,000-room Bellagio hotel is situated on the site of the former Dunes Hotel. The Dunes was imploded in 1993, and construction of the Bellagio started in 1996. It cost $1.6 billion to build, making it the most expensive hotel in the world at the time. The Bellagio was former Wynn Resorts Ltd. Chairman and CEO Steve Wynn’s second major casino on the Strip after The Mirage. MGM Resorts International acquired the property from Steve Wynn in 2000. (Tara Mack/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Recycled Art and Cute Dogs at Summerlin Festival Of Arts
Recycled Art, Cute Dogs Abound At Summerlin Festival Of Arts (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Bellagio Patisserie Creates Life-size Sculpture Of 20th Anniversary Of Cirque Du Soleil Show
Bellagio Patisserie Creates Life-size Sculpture Of 20th Anniversary Of Cirque Du Soleil Show (Janna Karel/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
10 Most Iconic Moments At The Bellagio Fountains
10 Most Iconic Moments At The Bellagio Fountains (Janna Karel/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Jason Aldean talks about the possibility of a Las Vegas residency
Country superstar Jason Aldean discusses his feelings about playing in Las Vegas and says he'd be interested in a Las Vegas residency when the time is right at the iHeart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas on September 21, 2018.(John Katsilometes/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Block 16 Urban Food Hall Serves Favorite Foods From Across The US
Block 16 Urban Food Hall Serves Favorite Foods From Across The US (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Benny the Skating Dog could be the next Golden Knights on-ice entertainment
Benny the Skating Dog could be the next Golden Knights on-ice entertainment (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Who To Watch At Life Is Beautiful
Life Is Beautiful Setup
Workers preparing Fremont street for this weekend's Life is Beautiful festival, on Wednesday, September 19, 2018. Mat Luschek/Las Vegas Review-Journal
The 46th annual Greek Food Festival will feed 25,000 people in Las Vegas
Madame Tussauds Has The Newest VR Experience On The Strip
Madame Tussauds Has The Newest VR Experience On The Strip. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Zia Records Move
Zias Records is moving from its Sahara Avenue and Arville Street location to a bigger store. (Mat Luscheck/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Students At The International Contortion Convention In Las Vegas Learn How To Bend And Twist Their Bodies
Students At The International Contortion Convention In Las Vegas Learn How To Bend And Twist Their Bodies. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Video from Fertitta wedding Sep. 1
video from @wedstagrams of Fertitta wedding at Red Rock Resort
You Can Get Vegan Unicorn Toast In Downtown Las Vegas
You Can Get Vegan Unicorn Toast In Downtown Las Vegas (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
TOP NEWS
News Headlines
Add Event
Home Front Page Footer Listing
Circular
You May Like

You May Like