Comedian Gabriel Iglesias (he’s not fat, he’s fluffy) is famous for naming six levels of fatness: Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy, DAMN! and OH HELL NO!!
So, for his stay in Vegas this week, he has designed hamburgers based on that fluffy joke. The burgers will be sold through Sunday at BLT Burger at The Mirage, where he performs Friday and Saturday.
Do these delicacies sound tasty to you?
The Big (fried pickles; $6); the Healthy Fluffy BLT ($9); the Husky burger ($9); the Fluffy double burger ($19); the Daaaaamn!! triple burger ($24); or the Oh Hell No!! triple burger with fat fries ($24).
The burgers come with jalapeno jack cheese, mayo, fried egg and tobacco onion, and most have BLT sauce.
You can top that off with Fluffy’s Cake Shake, which is what it sounds like, a shake made with cake, selling at what I’d call the Daaaamn!! price of $34.
If you don’t think you can eat all that, then you have something in common with Iglesias, 35. He’s not a huge eater, he says.
"Believe it or not, I’ve got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I’m done. I’m not a guy that puts away 10 burgers," he says.
And since Vegas is all about marketing, Iglesias will headline his own "burger release party" from 1 to 3 p.m. today at BLT Burger.
The first 50 people who go all fluffy on their burger at that party get a free T-shirt, DVD, photo and eat "lunch with my ass," he says.
This is all a dreamy scenario for Iglesias. He loves Vegas so much that he has "Vegas" listed as one of his favorite hobbies in his official biography.
"I’m still like a little kid. I like driving in and seeing the lights, and the whole feel of going in the casino," he says.
"I enjoy gambling, and drinking and eating — it’s all the things I enjoy in one building," he says. "Drink, drink, eat, eat, and sleep, sleep — everything in twos."
But he’s keeping an eye not just on his metabolism, but on diabetes. In fact, he’s been eating less and living healthier.
Which conjures the question: What happens to a large-size comedian named Fluffy when he slims down?
He gets asked this query all the time. He answers the way any real comedian would: He doesn’t have to rely on fat jokes to be funny.
"Overall, if you listen to the show now, I probably touch on it three times in the course of an hour," he says.
"I’m telling stories about hanging out with friends, road trips, life at home with the family, issues that I’m having. Very little of it has to do with my weight."
In other words, most of the Fluffy punch lines are behind him.
What is in front of him is a second season of his Comedy Central show, "Stand-Up Revolution."
He also co-stars in the June drama "Magic Mike," directed by Steven Soderbergh and starring Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey.
It will be Iglesias’ first major film. It’s based on Tatum’s earlier life as a stripper.
"It’s basically a modern-day ‘Boogie Nights,’ " Iglesias says. "It’s about a male stripper. I play a DJ, before you say anything."
And Fluffy and his fiancee are planning a wedding around the supposed Mayan 2012 end of the world, even though he thinks it will be just another Y2K.
"If we survive the apocalypse, we’ll think about it for next year," he jokes.
Typical guy, delaying his wedding for a totally bogus event.
Doug Elfman’s column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.