A dozen showgirls, an exotic dancer and a threesome of porn stars walk into a place of business wearing no pants.
What happens next?
This is Vegas, baby. There is no next.
"I like to show off what I have, so this is a nice opportunity to show off a little booty," says Amber Starke, 22, who is wearing 4-inch heels, a sparkly black thong and a tank top. She says she goes by the stage name Misty when she’s dancing.
Today she’s not dancing. She is, as she may have mentioned, showing off her butt. She’s one of several dozen women showing off their butts. It’s for a good cause.
"I want to support women in the fight against breast cancer," she says.
About 60 other women joined Starke, though some of them did, in fact, wear pants. They were gathered Tuesday at the behest of the Riviera casino’s marketing department and KOMP-FM, 92.3, to celebrate the 25th anniversary of "Crazy Girls," the topless show that has become iconic because of a certain butt shot that has been plastered across billboards since the 1980s.
"I saw them as a teenager in Pennsylvania," says local stay-at-home mom Pamela Beauchamp, 41. Those billboards are everywhere.
Those who took part in the lineup were able to purchase commemorative photos, with proceeds going to the American Cancer Society as part of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Beauchamp says she is a thyroid cancer survivor. She knows she isn’t svelte like the stripper or the Crazy Girls themselves, but she doesn’t care.
She’s a former schoolteacher who moved here 12 years ago. Today she’s wearing booty shorts and the "Crazy Girls" tank top all the participants got for free. She says she’s doing this for fun. Why not go for it?
"You’re just never too old to have fun," she says.
The nominal goal of Tuesday’s event was to create the "world’s longest butt lineup," though everyone admitted there’s really no such thing. Guinness World Records doesn’t have a record like that, and marketing Vice President Tony Bender says there are way too many hoops to jump through anyway.
So, no hoops today. Just butts.
Speaking of which, right over there are three porn stars. They say they came to town just for this event, though they got lucky and snagged a paying gig the night before, hosting Porn Star Karaoke.
Today, they have somehow removed their shirts and replaced them with the incredibly tight Crazy Girls tank tops, right here in the middle of the casino, without showing anything naughty. They will remove their pants in a moment to reveal thongs and skin.
"We’ve had about two hours of sleep," says the one in the middle, Summer Sanders. She’s with mom-and-daughter team (ewww) Vikki and Veronica Vaughn.
They couldn’t resist the event, they said. "Crazy Girls" is huge. Plus, what porn star could possibly turn down the opportunity to walk around in public without pants?
"We like showing our bums," the younger Vaughn says. "Obviously."
The Crazy Girls themselves show up in a few minutes. They’re all dressed identically, the tight black tank tops, shocking pink boots and skirts, glittery necklaces and deeply tanned skin.
They pose for the cameras. The skirts are so short they reveal themselves as little more than frilly belts, as butts jockey for position.
This is when DJ Lady Go Go shows up.
"Pink, baby," she says, though she doesn’t need to.
She’s wearing a tiny thong and an afro that must be 2 feet tall. It’s such a bright pink you could spot it from the space station with a pair of binoculars.
She says she entertains down on Fremont Street. She’s 21 years old. Her real name is Alexandria Halbauer. She’s all about the party. So, why this? Is it just another opportunity to show off her butt, like everyone else? Because she’s doing plenty of that.
Not entirely, she says. "Crazy Girls" is a big part of Las Vegas history. It’s one of the few naughty shows left. It deserves the attention. It’s one of the things that made Las Vegas what it is today.
If it takes showing off her butt in public to honor that history, she says, so be it.
Contact reporter Richard Lake at email@example.com or 702-383-0307.