I finally got discovered by Hollywood when I was offered a role I’ll brag about for years — playing myself as a nonspeaking extra in “Sharknado 4.”
This is what it’s like to be an extra.
Nice Hollywood people tell you to stand inside the Stratosphere entrance, hold a fake cigar and talk to another extra (in this case, local actress Nicole Chauvet).
The director or an assistant shouted “Chaos!” because a tornado of special effects sharks will be swarming us on-screen, so we lost our smiles and ran for our lives.
Tuesday’s first day of shooting might sound dull in the abstract, but it was very fun, like being one of a few dozen people in an entire amusement park.
Star Ian Ziering was on set. Vince Neil waited patiently to deliver dialogue. Wayne Newton was on his way. UFC’s Frank Mir was in a suit. (Norm Clarke was slated to be on camera Wednesday. Chris Lawrence is writing a full story for the RJ.)
And while we extras awaited wardrobe approval in a hotel hallway, dapper Oscar Goodman strutted by, smiling like a boss and saying hello.
“O.G.,” said an extra who recognized Goodman, making a double entendre of Goodman’s initials but also “OG,” the pop culture shorthand for “original gangster.”
“The real O.G.,” I said.
‘LA DI DUMB’
Diane Keaton bummed me out Tuesday.
She signed bottles of wine bearing her name at Lee’s Discount Liquor in Boca Park.
A week ago, I saw an ad for this appearance by the funny actress who said “la di da” in “Annie Hall.” I shared the ad with 3,900 people on Facebook, and in turn 17 people shared that post. I also shared it with 10,900 Twitter followers, because I love Keaton.
I showed up at Lee’s, and there was a line out the door and around the bend.
I asked a Lee’s manager if I could take a photo. He was super nice and said yes.
“I didn’t recognize you without your hat,” he said, smiling. I get that a lot.
But one of Keaton’s people said, “No press,” and I left.
Later, I relayed this story to my girlfriend, Alicia, who pointed out Keaton doesn’t understand today’s media.
“Everybody’s press,” Alicia said, meaning everyone with a phone and social media is press now, which is true. If I hadn’t said I was press, I could have just snapped the picture.
But no. Instead, I told my Facebook friends how Keaton burst my fan bubble for the day. Not a big deal. Just a bummer.
“La di dumb,” is how my friend Marlene Greenfield adjudicated the situation.
NO MORE STAGE TOKING FOR MAHER
This is the weekend Bill Maher lands at a new hotel, performing Saturday and Sunday at The Mirage, but don’t expect him to smoke a joint onstage, as he did on HBO’s “Real Time” recently.
“There was a lot of talk about getting fined by the FCC. The people at (the TV network) were upset about it,” the former Palms headliner tells me.
“So look, it was a statement,” he says, “the barrier has been broken, pot has been smoked on live television, the republic didn’t fall, I’m glad I did it.”
Maher was anxious about the joint, because he had to keep it a secret from producers and network suits, to prevent them from putting the kibosh on his plan.
Why not smoke regularly onstage?
“Doug,” he says, “the show would be eight minutes in and I would be saying ‘goodnight,’ or the show would be three hours long and I wouldn’t know it was over.”
His fantasy is for President Obama to make weed more legal as a final priority before leaving office, possibly so Americans can cope with a President Trump.
DRAI’S: MORE BROWN ON THE WAY
Hip-hop headliner Chris Brown has extended his residency at Drai’s nightclub in the Cromwell hotel.
He’ll perform there March 12 and 26; April 23 and 26; May 7; and July 2; with more dates coming later.
Brown continues to issue hit songs, and he has been found not at fault for two physical allegations in the Palms hotel since attaching to Drai’s.
Once again, I’ll be on Brian Shapiro’s Yahoo Sports radio show “The Vegas Take” late-morning Friday. It’s on KMZQ-AM 670, too. Two weeks ago, I conjectured Bernie Sanders was the candidate most likely to go to the Red Rooster swinger house, but honestly that’s quite doubtful.
I’ve found myself in this niche of writing about marijuana, because Nevada is the only state with “reciprocity” (the only state where dispensaries accept out-of-state medical marijuana cards), and I smell weed and see vaporizers at entertaining locales on my beat.
So in that vein, Las Vegas got another dispensary on Wednesday when Essence Vegas opened on the Strip at 2307 Las Vegas Blvd. South, a block south of the “Sharknado 4” Stratosphere — “Chaos!”
Tuesday at the 2016 Nightclub & Bar Show Convention and Trade Show in the Las Vegas Convention Center: Actors Chazz Palminteri and John O’Hurley; “Iron Chef America” winner Cat Cora; Mayor Carolyn Goodman; comedians Ron White and Alex Reymundo; and “Bachelor Twins” Emily and Haley Ferguson.
Zabdiel Judah, the retired boxing champ, went to Carmine’s restaurant in Caesars Palace’s Forum Shops Tuesday, during a break from a Nevada Boxing Hall of Fame event.
Doug Elfman can be reached at email@example.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman. On Twitter: @VegasAnonymous