7 major conversations every couple needs to have

Many marital difficulties can be minimized if couples have the following conversations with each other. When you have an understanding of where your partner stands on these key issues, your relationship can be much more peaceful and enjoyable. These conversations can be initiated by asking the following questions.

1. What does marriage mean to us?

First ask yourself, “What do I want out of a marriage?” Write down the answer to that question. Make a list of what you think you want out of a marriage. Then the two of you can get together and share what you’ve written. Discuss each point so the other understands what you mean. After that discussion, take your two lists and combine them. This will be your joint definition of what marriage means to you as a couple. With this clearly in mind you now have a goal to jointly work toward.

2. What are our sexual expectations?

Talk about what sexual intimacy means to you. This is a time when you can openly tell your mate what you need and desire sexually. Do not be surprised if your needs and desires differ from your spouse’s. The important thing is to understand what each other’s expectations are when it comes to making love. Discuss that there may be times when you’re not in the mood, or times when you could be in the mood if there is an element of patience and gentleness. Being aware of each other’s needs and responding in a caring way is what matters. Sexual intimacy is a vitally important part of a happy marriage.

3. What is our division of labor?

Many couples jump into marriage completely unaware of what is expected in the labor department. Talk about who cooks the meals — will this duty be shared? Discuss how you work together on household chores, such as washing the dishes, emptying the garbage, making the bed, cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, doing the gardening, etc. Don’t expect one person to do it all. Talk about it and decide who does what. Keep it fair, or bad feelings can arise. Nobody wants to be stuck with these duties infinitely.

4. How do we handle our finances?

Finances can be a big problem if you don’t sit down and decide …

  • Who earns the money
  • Who pays the bills
  • How much we save out of each paycheck
  • How much is allocated for each to spend on personal items
  • What credit cards we use and what is our limit in charging (we suggest no more than you can pay off each time the bill arrives)
  • What debts you will incur

Couples who curb their spending and buy only what their budgets comfortably allow are much happier than those who get swallowed up in debt. The only way to avoid that is to make a financial plan together and stick to it. Include in your plan to always have some money for date nights and special fun occasions. Be careful with your money, but enjoy it, too, without going into debt.

5. How will we raise our children?

Most couples have discussed whether they want children, and how many, before they marry. That’s a crucial conversation to have. And it can change after you’re married, which means it’s time for the conversation again. Discuss where children will fit in your marriage. Even though you would both give your life for your child, still you must keep each other’s needs as a priority. Children with parents who attend to each other’s needs have happier more well-balanced lives. Discuss your methods of disciplining, and the expectations you have for your children, i.e., education, developing talents, chores, earning money, etc. Both parents need to play an important role in children’s lives. It’s not just the mother’s or the father’s duty — it’s both.

6. What role will religion play in our marriage?

Being of the same religious faith helps marriage run smoother. However, everyone practices their faith their own way. Whether you are of the same faith or different, it’s time for that important conversation where you decide what role religion will play in your marriage. Things like, “Will we actively attend and participate at church or synagogue as a family?”; “Will we pray together?”; “Will we support and respect each other’s beliefs?”; and “Will we raise our children to believe in God and say their prayers?” When these decisions are made together — and the earlier the better — then greater happiness and harmony at home will be the result. For enlightenment on this subject you may enjoy seeing the movie The Cokeville Miracle.

7. Where do the in-laws fit?

When you marry your spouse, you also marry his or her family. And that can be a very good thing as long as you have laid a foundation regarding the place of your in-laws in your marriage. Your spouse’s needs must come before the needs of your parents. That doesn’t mean you don’t love and care for them; it just means there is an order regarding where they fit. It’s a good idea to talk about the boundaries that need to be set regarding your parents and in-laws. These boundaries need to represent the feelings of both the husband and the wife. Parents need to let their married children have their own life without continual interference. When parents understand where they fit then harmony will abound.It’s never too early or too late for couples to have these conversations. Find a quiet, private, inviting place and begin. You’ll enjoy it and your marriage will be better for it.

Celebrity photographer dedicates dance book to Las Vegas shooting victims
Behind the scenes with local celebrity photographer Jerry Metellus as he talks about his Dance For Vegas coffee book dedicated to the 58 victims of the October 1 shooting. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @marcusvillagran
Dreamsickle Kids Foundation founder Gina Glass talks awareness
Gina Glass, 35, founded Dreamsickle Kids Foundation to raise awareness for sickle cell disease in Nevada. (Jessie Bekker/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
The Meadows School founding kindergarten teacher retires after 34 years at the school
Linda Verbon, founder of the The Meadows School's kindergarten program and the first faculty member hired at the school, retired in the spring after 34 years at The Meadows. (K.M. Cannon/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Kids become firefighters at Fire Station 98 open house
Henderson residents wore fire hats, learned about CPR and met firefighters at the Fire Station 98 open house Saturday, August 11, 2018. (Marcus Villagran Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
People from all over the world attend RollerCon 2018
RollerCon 2018 is a five-day convention focused on the roller derby community and culture at Westgate in Las Vegas. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
Camp Broadway teaches kids how to sing and dance
The Smith Center's seventh annual Camp Broadway musical theater program gives 150 kids ages 6-17 an opportunity to learn musical theater skills from industry professionals over a five-day period. Marcus Villagran/ Las Vegas Review-Journal @brokejournalist
Las Vegas police officer on being PETA's Sexiest Vegan Next Door
Las Vegas police officer David Anthony talks vegan lifestyle and how he feels about being voted PETA's sexiest Vegan next door from his home on Monday, July 9, 2018. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
'NO H8' Campaign comes to Las Vegas
Hundreds of locals participate in the NO H8 campaign founded by Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley as a response to Proposition 8, a California ban on same-sex marriage. The campaign has since evolved to represent equal treatment for all. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
Over 40,000 People Attend The 4th Of July Parade In Summerlin In Las Vegas
Over 40,000 People Attend The 4th Of July Parade In Summerlin In Las Vegas. (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Star Wars and Golden Knights mashup at downtown art shop
Star Wars and Vegas Golden Knights fans attend the Boba Fett Golden Knight Paint Class at The Bubblegum Gallery in Las Vegas, Friday, June 29, 2018. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @brokejournalist
News Headlines
Local Spotlight
Add Event
Home Front Page Footer Listing
You May Like

You May Like